Jump to content

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 796
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

I recently watched Nigella Lawson cooking a turkey and she managed to slip the following into the dialogue; Slippery, rub all over, moist, plumptious beauties, lubricate, wet, insert and penetrate. I

I have wondered for a long time whether dogs and cats ever wonder why their two-legged owners don't fall over.     /end

More Viz fun

 

--

 

The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film without asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on the 28th October 1990, when Mrs. Ethel Brunswick (GB) sat down with her husband to watch 'The Ipcress File'. She watched in silence for a breath-taking 2 mins 40 secs before asking "Is he a goody or a baddie, then, him in the glasses?", revealing a staggering level of ignorance. This broke her own previous record set in 1962 when she sat through 2 mins 38 secs of '633 Squadron' before asking "Is this a war film, is it?"

 

The fewest number of sexual partners had by a woman on an 18-30 holiday is 17, by Miss Tracey Spencer (GB) between August 7th and 14th 1998 on a one week package to San Antonio, Ibiza. Miss Spencer attributed her chaste performance to the fact that she was hospitalised with Crytosporidial diarrhoea for the first 4 days of the holiday and spent the last two days in intensive care following a moped crash.

 

cj_047.gif

 

cj_050.gif

 

cj_048.gif

 

cj_043.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Those animations must have come out around 1999 or so if I remember rightly. I remember I hadnt been into viz for years, but I was still in UK at uni, so sometime in late 90s I reckon.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...

Some good ones from this months Viz. I'll post a selection each time I get a new one:

 

>>

 

Car drivers. Get away with not wearing a seat belt by painting a diagonal black stripe on all your shirts.

 

Ant & Dec. Have some fun by switching names and seeing if anyone notices or cares.

 

Fellas. Don't waste money on expensive pornographic magazines. Simple ask female friends to pose naked whilst you masturbate.

 

A roast sparrow makes an ideal Christmas turkey dinner for a family of mice who wear clothes. I don't know what they could use for crackers though.

 

Harvey Nichols customers. When entering the shop, always have a large wad of cash in your hand so that the doorman and other staff will see that you can afford their stuff and won't look at you as if you're something thats just dropped off a tramps arse.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally Posted By: grungy-gonads
Fellas. Don't waste money on expensive pornographic magazines. Simple ask female friends to pose naked whilst you masturbate.


lol

A monthly update most appreciated!
Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally Posted By: iiyamadude
Originally Posted By: grungy-gonads
Fellas. Don't waste money on expensive pornographic magazines. Simple ask female friends to pose naked whilst you masturbate.


lol

A monthly update most appreciated!


i second that...
Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...