SKI 15 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 They probably get swamped by them. Most probably bloody awful as well. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 There's an email address for the Top Tips and Letters. I'm sure they get a lot of submissions. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 cool. what's the email. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 letters and toptips @ viz.co.uk I'd just prefer read all the results of other peoples creative brainyness. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 HUSBANDS. Get your wife to swallow your spunk by simply wanking into the milk before making her a cup of tea. GAMBLERS. Convince fellow punters that you have some inside knowledge by simply cheering every race winner and then counting a wad of cash in your pocket. THINKING of waterfalls and fountains is well known to help one urinate. Similarly, thinking of landslides and lorries unloading soil can help even the most constipated person clear their bowels. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 DRIVERS. When the salesgirl in your local petrol station holds your banknote up to the light, simply wink at her, laughingly telling her "the ink's still wet!" Trust me, she won't have heard this one before, and you might even get a shag. DON'T THROW away old socks. They can be used to protect cucumbers, marrows and aubergines from early frosts. RECREATE the smell of farts by opening a pack of Iceland's diced chicken. Link to post Share on other sites
big-will 7 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 They should make a huge Top Tips book. They probably already have! Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 They did actually I remember one or two a long time ago. Little pocket book thing. Now it's the Roger Mellie rudeword-saurus or whatever they call it. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 I wont believe it until I see it. It would be a great Christmas fireplace recital. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 when on a longish flight, drink as many beers as your bladder can take before going to the toilet. That way, after you've peed, you can see the volume that your bladder can hold before flushing and seeing how fast 5 pints can get sucked out. Link to post Share on other sites
SKI 15 Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Did you try that one? Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Good news Top Tips fans. The new Viz arrived today. Give me a day or two and I will share all the top tips and letters with the masses. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 can't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Don't know if that was sarcastic or not, but I really can't. Get em posted gg. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 ok. Can't wait Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 still waiting..... Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Here's one to be getting on with EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin. Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 One more SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 this wait is unbearable. I went looking for some: BONO. TAKE the piss by spending thousands of pounds on pink tinted sunglasses then ask the working class to give to charity. Ryan P, e-mail CINEMA BUILDERS. Don't bother installing a front row of seats, nobody ever uses them. Simply start with the second row. Dave Stuttard, Warrington BUS DRIVERS. If you see an attractive woman with a low cut top at the bus stop, accelerate and come to a halt 50 feet past the stop. You will then have a great view in your nearside mirror as she runs towards you. Finally, accidentally drop her change for a second look. A. Driver, Bolton BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching. Nigel Austin, e-mai MAKE YOUR postman's day by opening the door as he comes up the path and saying “If there are any bills you can take them back. Ha! Ha! Ha!†Stu Perry (Postman), Isle of Man Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted February 6, 2010 Share Posted February 6, 2010 AUSTRALIAN WOMEN.When in Hakuba, people can guess that you are Australian so a speaking volume other than REALLY LOUD may be used. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 I forgot. Not now though, soon. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 c'mon. Misrep. Link to post Share on other sites
muikabochi 208 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 You really need to get your act together gg. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 c'mon gg, you wuss Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 SPEEDING MOTORISTS: Just put a Toyota badge on your car. Link to post Share on other sites
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