klingon 10 Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Has anyone else noticed how in Japan people expect everyone to want children and expect everyone to have children if they are married - and laugh at suggestings that you may feel otherwise. I know it happens everywhere, but I feel people here become very vocal about it - much more than at home. Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 I think if I got married, it would be because I am ready to settle down, get a house, career and have children. But thats just me. I kind of expect most people to get married with the same intentions in mind, so I'd be a little surprised too to here someone say they dont want kids, but I wouldnt judge them or critisise them for it. Its your decision and I respect that. Link to post Share on other sites
veronica 2 Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 I don't want kids, no thanks... Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 That's because having kids is a natural, normal thing to do, and not being able to is rightly seen as a grave misfortune and a curse. In more frank and less egotistical cultures than prevail in the west, not having children when you're physically capable of it is taken as a sign of immaturity or worse, a perversion. Link to post Share on other sites
miteyak 0 Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Civilization has allowed us to make decisions that go further than biological imperative, and allow us to make long term plans for our lives as we see fit. If that's egotistical (and I fail to see how) I raise a glass to swollen egos everywhere... Perverts of the world, unite... Link to post Share on other sites
veronica 2 Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Good one Ocean11 Link to post Share on other sites
Karnidge 2 Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Hey I must be an egotistical pervert too! And I didn't know that until just a few moments ago! Link to post Share on other sites
Davo 1 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Surely it's a matter of choice-big responsibility after all isn't it? It can also be perceived as prohibatively expensive and lifestyle cramping for people who have grown with the materialistic expectations of the last 30 or so years (ie the demographic most likely to be deciding to have kids). I think it's kind of moronic to pester married couples who don't want to have kids. Personally I do want them but I can see plenty of valid reasons not to have them-it's not as if you need loads of them to help farm rice in modern Japan now is it? Link to post Share on other sites
damian 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 I do not feel the need to breed. Perhaps that will change. If it does, I will be the one to stay at home to look after the child. You should see the look on the average Japanese mans face when I say that! Link to post Share on other sites
snowboard_freak 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 If you want to have children then do. If you don't then don't. Not really nuclear science. It has nothing to do with egos and the like. It's a choice that most people have the luxury of making. Link to post Share on other sites
damian 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 hhhmm, I think my problem lies in the words "birth canal". Link to post Share on other sites
Stefan 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 What happens when one of the couple wants kids and the other doesn't....? Peoples ideas change in terms of what they want from a relationship.... Link to post Share on other sites
mikazooki 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Quote: Originally posted by Mr Matthews: What happens when one of the couple wants kids and the other doesn't....? yeah, thats a good question!!!! not that it has any relevance to me... Link to post Share on other sites
snowboard_freak 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 You can sure its going to be an 'interesting' stage of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 In Indonesia its considered very unusual to not have kids straight after marrying. I didn't really notice that people expect it here in Japan as I have never encountered that attitude and had been married without kids for almost 4 years. Link to post Share on other sites
mattlucas 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Are there not enough people in the world already. Bringing another being into the materialistic environment we have all been raised with is selfish. Everybody in a western culture already consumes far to much and I'm not just talking about food. How big is your ecological footprint on the earth and can you justify bringing another one in to add to that. Ramblings of an semi environmentalist and anti kid producer but it does not matter as I am male and cannot have kids. I hope that made sense. Link to post Share on other sites
big-will 7 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 mikazooki - what that happens - problems basically. Rather a large issue to not agree on... Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it isn't egotism that prevents otherwise normal people from having children. I'm beginning to think from these postings that it's the opposite. Maybe it's actually full-on self-loathing and complete absence of a sense of worth that's the problem. ILiveToSkiButNotHaveChildren, the challenge is to keep the world populated by humans without destroying it, and not just leave it to the beetles and crayfish who have no culture. If you wish to bow out, feel free, but the 11 genes will go marching on. Link to post Share on other sites
xxx 2 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Anyone else noticed just how overy sensitive O11 seems to be on issues such as this - children, abortion, etc. Interesting..... Link to post Share on other sites
NoFakie 45 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 The guy might just have been BSing us, but when I went to Bali on a mini package tour, the tour rep said that following a wedding, the couple gets shut up in a hut in the garden to consummate their marriage in front of various offerings. He said they're supposed to stay in there for two or three days. Me and the wife are going to have kids if we can. By doing so, we're going to save the world from overpopulation with old gits who listen to Eric Clapton and Dire Straits . Link to post Share on other sites
base40 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Yes noticed that xxx. I do not feel the need either, and can't see myself changing my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Destroy another fetus now We don't like children anyhow I've seen the future, baby It is murder I just happen to think that children are A Good Thing and I like them. As a consequence of that, I believe making enough of them and not killing them is the Right Thing To Do. Just because I make this simple point in two threads doesn't make me 'ovary' sensitive. Although the feeling I get that some people who post here think that children are some sort of disaster does disturb me a little, and I'd like to state the more sane case. Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Not a disaster, just don't like em! Simple! Link to post Share on other sites
Stefan 0 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 I like kids for maybe a few hours, but when they start crappin and cryin I'm outta there. O11 I think you should've thought twice about having kids, there's only room enough for one hyper-argumentative know it all in this world, lets hope it's not in the genes eh? Link to post Share on other sites
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