veronica 2 Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 A bit of a dark subject, sorry. One of my friend's mother just died this last week and they suddenly went back home of course. It was a major headache and of course a very sad and tiring time for her.. . it got me thinking about what I would go home for and how bad I'd feel in her situation. In her case, her mother died quite suddenly, but if she was just ill for a long time etc, it must be really difficult. What has anyone else done in similar circumstances? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetaz 0 Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 sorry to hear about that veronica.... my mother was sick for a long time(they live in Canada) and i went through quite a few years of "waiting for the call". Had a scare once....makes you feel totally helpless. I feel for your friend....that just sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
snobee 0 Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 Unfortunately had THAT call last year. Healthy Mother suddenly died. Mind was in a whirlpool for a short while then just had to switch to "gotta get there" mode. Down to the travel agent to purchase the ASAP ticket at sickening prices - but what can you do. Not a pleasant journey to undertake, trying to be as philosophical as one can, probably to ease the hurt. And it won't get easier as the years fly by. My wife's family is here, mine there. No simple solution to close folks living far apart. But that's the lot. The good and the bad. Link to post Share on other sites
veronica 2 Posted January 12, 2004 Author Share Posted January 12, 2004 Really sorry to hear that snobee. I know what my friend is going through, and can only imagine what it would be like.... Link to post Share on other sites
mogski 0 Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 My grandmother went the same way about three years back now and in true granma form she managed to make smack in the middle of the Obon holiday in August so flights were not cheap. You just gotta get back and deal with it really. There is no simple solution. Parents I know is a little different story, but being here or there makes no difference. If you were the only person in the world living away from your parents sure you should feel guilty, but all you gotta do is take a read of thisboard to know that you are not. You could be 5 kms away and you would still have the same feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
mina2 6 Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Good point. I dread something like this happening though, it must be a heavy deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowhaus 0 Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I had the same thing happen just before Xmas a year ago. My dad died and I had to fly home right away. The problem is having to think about practicalities when all you want to do is get home. My office was great though. They rang the local immigration office and got them to stay open late to arrange re-entry visas and three girls rang around the travel agents finding the best deal for me while I was busy ringing people back home. My boss came over to make sure I had everything I needed and let me have 3 weeks off for bereavement leave. When I got back, they had done the usual funeral whip-around and come up with more than enough to cover the hideously expensive ticket home and expenses while I was away. Link to post Share on other sites
Dims 0 Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 That is very cool of the people you work with. True work mates Link to post Share on other sites
fukdane 2 Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Yeah, excellent story. Link to post Share on other sites
1 4 Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Very cool. When I had to go back late last year I got a collection, but it certainly didn't cover total expenses. Link to post Share on other sites
Bowler 0 Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Fortunately no-ones died as of yet but both mi grannies are into their december years and i just know that one of these days i too is gonna get a call. its kinda weird, you know!!! you know one day its gonna happen but just when...you dont know. very different being here than at home. i knew that the last time i went home, back in xmas 2002, it was the last time id see them both. sad stuff eh!!! Link to post Share on other sites
crazyski 0 Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Quote: Originally posted by Snowhaus: I had the same thing happen just before Xmas a year ago. My dad died and I had to fly home right away. The problem is having to think about practicalities when all you want to do is get home. My office was great though. They rang the local immigration office and got them to stay open late to arrange re-entry visas and three girls rang around the travel agents finding the best deal for me while I was busy ringing people back home. My boss came over to make sure I had everything I needed and let me have 3 weeks off for bereavement leave. When I got back, they had done the usual funeral whip-around and come up with more than enough to cover the hideously expensive ticket home and expenses while I was away. Yeah, and perhaps only in Japan, right? I'm beginning to realize this country is capable of causing one to feel quite happily content because of the often-overflowing kindness of the people here. Sure, there's plenty to rip on, but I've rarely felt as relaxed and simply happy as I do now. Ahhhhhh, got to love the sappiness... Link to post Share on other sites
bong 0 Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Not trying to put a damper on the lovely story above, but many people give to these collections very grudgingly and only becoz they have to.... Link to post Share on other sites
Snowhaus 0 Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Yeah, I know it's easy to be cynical around here, but none of my workmates ever made me feel like they begrudged me anything. They are a great bunch of people, and when others have had something tragic happen in their lives (as has happened recently) we all chip in without any resentment or bad feeling. Maybe that's the joy of living in the backwaters of Japan. We care about each other, and feel sad when one of our number has bad news. God knows I'd rather live in a place like this than somewhere where no one gives a stuff about each other... Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 Sounds good. Link to post Share on other sites
dai_koubutsu 0 Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 I had to go back last year suddenly. It was a traumatic time, but when it happens you've got no choice but to just get on with it. One of the worst experiences of my life though. Link to post Share on other sites
nagpants 1 Posted January 21, 2004 Share Posted January 21, 2004 They sound like top workmates you have there dude. Do you enjoy the parties with these people as well? My grandmother died a while back and I wanted to go back home but it was proving very difficult to organise (mainly because of work) and my family told me not to. I still regret that. Link to post Share on other sites
r45 4 Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 An AETs up here I know got his trip back home paid for.... Link to post Share on other sites
Spliffer 0 Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 I had to go back suddenly in November. It sucked, but what can you do? Link to post Share on other sites
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