BingeSkier 0 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Here's the situation. Best friend of a number of years going out with sexy girl. Has been for 2 years and they are serious (well he thinks they are). He's thinking about marriage, so he tells me. But recently said girl has been flirting with me, and I've seen her flirting big time with a few other guys. If it were my girl I would I know that would definitely not be cool. What do you do? Speak to the friend, speak to the girl, what? Any ideas might go to help me decide what to do in this tricky situation. Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
nagoid 4 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 I would see if she would sleep with me to check if she was faithful or not. If she did sleep with me, after doing so I would inform the friend that she was no good. Seriously, I'd tell the friend. Link to post Share on other sites
brett_jackson 0 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 I'd go with nagoid's suggestion. The first one, that is - where you test the girl's commitment by sleeping with her. I mean, if she refuses, your friend wins because he keeps the girl, and you win because you were 'looking out for him'. If she accepts, you win because hey ... get to sleep with sexy girl! and your friend wins because he doesn't enter a doomed marriage. Either way ... everyone wins. Link to post Share on other sites
gamera 0 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Quote: Originally posted by BingeSkier: But recently said girl has been flirting with me, Errr..if this above were true, I think you are disqualified to worry about any? YOU and the girl have been flirting, right?? And what are you worrying about? I hope I don't misunderstand anything though but a lot often it happens coz it's not my mother tongue Link to post Share on other sites
farquah 0 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Quote: Originally posted by gamera: coz it's not my mother tongue ..Gamera, hope you`re not talking about the flirting when mentioning your mothers tongue!!?? Link to post Share on other sites
NoFakie 45 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 BingeSkier You've done the absolutely the right thing for anyone with an interesting dilemma. That is, to write it up on a message board used by people bored at work for the general amusement. There must be lots of grateful people out there... For throwaway frivolous comment #2, it's over to Dr. Hook "When you're in love with a beautiful woman, You watch your friends...." Seriously though, you've got to tell your mate. If he knows her properly, he may just around and say "Yeah, she's a right little tease after a few drinks". Otherwise, he going to have to come to terms with it. If she comes onto you, at least you're someone he likes and respects. By the sounds, she may also be coming onto some blokes he doesn't respect at all. That's when it really does your head in. Link to post Share on other sites
oo 1 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 They are great moustaches. Fabulous. Link to post Share on other sites
fukdane 2 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 If he were a good friend, I'd point out to him some stories I'd heard about here. Link to post Share on other sites
echineko 1 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 She sound like naughty girl Link to post Share on other sites
slow 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Quote: Originally posted by BingeSkier: But recently said girl has been flirting with me, and I've seen her flirting big time with a few other guys. If it were my girl I would I know that would definitely not be cool. You are not cool, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki's Passion 1 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 girls are just naughty in general, right? Link to post Share on other sites
BingeSkier 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 What do you mean slow? Link to post Share on other sites
sunrise 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 You mean she never used to flirt with you and others, and that this is just a recent thing? Or maybe she's just a naturally flirty type and was always like that (in which case she could well be very serious about your friend). Do you think she'd take her flirting further with you or others if there was a response? Sometimes flirting is just harmless. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I hate teasers like that. Link to post Share on other sites
miteyak 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I've dated horrendous flirts and I'd have to say it's driven me crazy. The funny thing is that it's the flirty ones that are often the most faithful. Often girls flirt when they feel safe in a relationship, and see it as a bit of harmless fun. She may flirt with you because she thinks you know her situation, and as such would never expect you to 'put in the moves' as it were. Try to take it further, you may get a slap and loose your best friend! Having said that, one ex. (married, as it turned out ) was a big flirt, and also the most cunning, deceitful unfaithful vixen i've ever had the displeasure to tango with, but played the devoted partner to a T. So, there are no rules. I'd just keep your eyes open, make sure you don't encoourage anything (sure way to loose a friend, if not a few teeth if seen as part of the problem). Make sure the flirting with others isn't getting physical. If you really think she's playing your mate for a fool, try to get some time alone with him, and see if he expresses any doubts. If he does, gently encourage him to explore the possibility of her commitment to him. If he has no doubts, i'd be very cautious about bringing anything up. Obviously, if you KNOW she's being unfaithful, you have to tell him, regardless. There, some trite from a bored office worker... Link to post Share on other sites
sunrise 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Why not talk to her about it before talking to your mate? Link to post Share on other sites
mogski 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 A quote or two: "Players can't always see what the spectators can." "Just cause there's a goalie don't mean you can't shoot." Link to post Share on other sites
tsondaboy 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I have to agree with miteyak, the best way to loose a friend is by taking initiative. In the bottom line I guess it is all about what you cherish more, a “f***” or a “friendship”. If we make the simplest assumption that you are 100% sure that she is a pathological flirt type, what will you be gaining by sleeping with her? Will you feel proud for your self that you shagged your friend’s girlfriend? Have you actually convinced yourself that by sleeping with her you are making a favor to your friend by testing her loyalty? Are you planning after sleeping with her to go to your friend and say “you girlfriend is a fake, I just slept with her, she is no good for you”? What will you do if your friend asks “if you knew she was a flirt why didn’t you tell me in the first place?”. I think the issue here is “balls”, it needs more balls to face your friend and speak honestly about what you think about his girlfriend than the balls needed to just go and start fooling around with her. Also there is a really good possibility as miteyak said that you have just misunderstood her motions. By start flirting her is the best way to loose a friend, that is, if you think your friend is too good a friend to loose. There are always “expendable” friendships, so in that case you can always go ahead and think with you “lower” head. Rest assured though, that even in the case that you don’t really care about your friend and all you actually have in mind is to steal his girlfriend, you will be next. If she is actually the type you have described, nothing will stop her from doing the same thing to you. To summarize, I don’t even think there is a dilemma in your case. You should just ignore her till you reach the point that you are 100% sure that she is not faithful toward your friend. After that point you have to be honest to your friend and let him deal with his problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Hokkaidough 4 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Something like this actually happened to me. His g/f was a complete flirt, she was no good. Horny as hell, but no good. Problem was he was getting really serious and not noticing that she wasn't. The solution? I told him about her over a few drinks (we are real close), he didn't believe me. Then I played him back the answering machine message she left me to prove to him. Anyway, he dumped her and even though things were a bit rough for a while... we're still good friends. (He is happy I told him now) Link to post Share on other sites
miteyak 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I think we need to know what you mean by 'flirting', bingeskier... Are we talking about friendly giggly behaviour, or does she sit on your lap, run your tie through her fingers and whisper about how damn hard it is for her to stay faithful when you're around... Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Quote: Originally posted by nagoid: I would see if she would sleep with me to check if she was faithful or not. If she did sleep with me, after doing so I would inform the friend that she was no good. You will need video evidence just so that he believes you. Don't forget the video! Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 ...and the pics of course. Link to post Share on other sites
jstepp 0 Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 It is your duty as a friend to sleep with her. Or at least get to 3rd base. What was the rest of the question now? Oh and then you'll know if she's no good for your friend there. Good luck, we're all counting on you. Link to post Share on other sites
echineko 1 Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Please tell me about "bases"? Link to post Share on other sites
maoriboy 0 Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 hmmm.baseball talk....to get to home base is to have sex. 3rd 2nd and 1st I think you can imagine the rest. As for the flirting thing....seriously man dont do it. I made the mistake of doing that once and lost a good friend for a very long time. We are friends again now but it took a long time and I dont think he fully trusts me anymore. Flirting is mostly harmless (I do it ALL the time...chronic fliter in fact ) but knowing when to stop is very important and I DO know. Keeps me out of trouble. How far IS she going in the flirting department?? Link to post Share on other sites
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