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I recently watched Nigella Lawson cooking a turkey and she managed to slip the following into the dialogue; Slippery, rub all over, moist, plumptious beauties, lubricate, wet, insert and penetrate. I

I have wondered for a long time whether dogs and cats ever wonder why their two-legged owners don't fall over.     /end

  • 5 months later...

maybe all the top tips fans in this thread could chuck in 100yen each . How many p is that?

 

 

Or infact submit your own top tips to an SJ top tip thread.

 

Loads of jokers here.

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Dark skinned people. Don't waste your hard-earned cash on tatts in black ink, they're no use if no-one can see them properly. Have them done in white ink so that we can all see them better.

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Surely lesbians who want sex toys should be buying those rubber vaginas. If they're out getting big plastic cocks then it's the sheer hypocrisy of it that potentially bothers me.

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When the Ashes finishes later this summer, can we expect John Terry to pull on a white tanktop and go up and collect the urn with the winning team? He might as well, seeing as though he collects every other award he had fukk all to do with.

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If absolutely everything is made of atoms, then why does toffee fudge ice cream taste wonderful and dog shite taste awful. Come on Einstein, explain that one. Not that I've ever eatern dog shite you understand.

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Zoos really are missing a trick. They should get the gorillas wearing little tutus instead of just lounging about, barely visible, in a bush at the back of the enclosure. get the pigs wearing little wellie boots and while you're at it, give the tigets a giant ball of wool to play with. Come on, this is basic stuff.

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It really makes my blood boil when young people refer to human beings having an average of 2 legs. They do not. Some people have one leg, others have none and very, very few of us have three. This means that the average number of legs a human being has is slightly less than two, around 1.997, to be exact. What they mean to say is that the modal number of legs a human being has is two. Do they teach children nothing in schools these days.

 

The same goes for arms.

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