pie-eater 207 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Excellent. So we can expect them the end of next week then, gg? Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I will do my best. [Clenched fist, gambaru serious look avatar] Haven't read it myself yet. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Does anyone know the exact episode of Top Gear where it stopped being a mildly amusing car programme and started being a show about three annoying fcktards acting like tit-ends, in what looks like some kind of moron storage facility? If you fancy your best mate's wife, just go ahead and sleep with her. If he really is your best mate he won't mind, and if he does then he's obviously not a real mate. I'm fed up with sudoko and word puzzles. If it hasn't already been done, hows about a nice join the dots picture of that bloke kissing that bird's arse with her arse being the main focal point. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 On todays Jeremy Kyle Show there was a woman with a "secret" eating addiction. She was 21 stone. I watched the Royal Wedding and was captivated by the pomp and pageantry. The golden coach and horses, the uniformed soldiers and the crowned heads of Europe in their finery made it a spectacle to behold. But by far the finest sight of the day was Pippa Middleton's arse. I wonder if you had a picture of it without anything on? On a recent family holiday to Amsterdam my wife agreed to me going out for a couple of hours on my own "for a walk". I can't work out if shes really gullible or if shes burying her head in the sand for the sake of the kids. What do you readers reckon? Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Why isn't there any revolving boards on gameshows these days? When I was a kid every show on telly had a revolving board, now it's just shit computer graphics and clever 'media' stuff. Ted Rodgers and Dusty Bin would be turning in their graves. It genuinely makes me sick. I'll tell you something about Jimmy Carr's hair. He has it dyed, like a girl. And what's more, he pays extra to have it done in a private room so that he can't be seen. Oh yes. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I think it's a ruddy disgrace that the Queen didn't bother shaking the hands of everyone who turned up outside the palace for the Royal Wedding. Princess Diana would have done. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Fool friends into thinking that you have a passion for swimming by combing watered down bleach through your hair and complaining of verrucas. A Dairylea triangle coated with Tippex makes perfect "funsize" Brie. Want to know the time? Simply go to Argos and buy yourself a cheap watch. Hey presto! You should find the time printed on the till receipt. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Dogs. Forgotten which year you were born in? Simply take your age in dog years and divide it by seven, then subtract this number from the present year. Jazz pianists. Screw up your eyes and face and shake your head about like you're Stevie fking Wonder so everyone can see how amazing it all is. Motorists. Find out the price of petrol everywhere else by driving to a BP garage and deducting 4p from their displayed price. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Commuters. Instead of walking around with scalding hot buckets of watered-down coffee which you drink out of a tiny hole in a plastic lid costing at least 2pounds 50, I suggest you buy a kettle and wake up one minute earlier than normal and have a coffee at home like most normal people. Shopkeepers. When selling booze, say to your customers "It's Friday, it's 5 to 5..." and if they reply "and it's Crackerjack" you don't have to check ID. Guinness World Record fans. Don't bother shoving Smarties under your foreskin as apparently they will not accept this as a world record. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 American pastors. instead of burning expensive Korans, simply download the e-book from the internet for free and then delete it from your hard-drive. Fitness instructors. Help fat people do sit ups by gluing Scotch eggs to the tops of their shoes. Add a touch of magic to your cold by putting glitter in your mouth before you sneeze. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Pretend you are having a night out with friends by simply staying in and staring at your iphone. Bored? Hire two private detectives to follow each other. Convince visitors you have a Nintendo Wii by smashing all your ornaments. Uncle Ben. Produce the ultimate next generation ready meals by shagging Aunt Bessie. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Motorists. Thumbing through the road atlas takes up precious time. Simply move to the area featured on the cover. Convince your friends you're a detective by picking up your house keys with a pencil and dropping them into a sandwich bag. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Just think of all the millions of pounds that have been wasted on all the pomp and ceremony of the royal wedding. They could have saved the lot and just pointed the camera at Pippa's fartclappers all afternoon. I'd have tuned in I can tell you. I thought that this lovely day couldn't get any better, but when I saw Pippa's lovely bum cheeks as she got out of that carriage, it did just that. I was so taken with Pippa and her bottom, that I have written a poem about it.... Oh Pippa, how I like a lot / That sexy little bot you've got / I'd like to mash your buttock cheeks / For weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks I thought Pippa looked absolutely radiant. She even outshone the bride. I'd love to do her up the bum, and I mean that in the most respectful way. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I'm an American, over here for the Royal Wedding, and when I commented loudly about what a cute fanny the bride's sister has, I was booed by the crowd. Their boos turned to cheers when I explained that in the States, fanny means ass, not pussy. I'm more of a breast man myself. Arses do very little for me, to be frank, so I'd rather Prince William had decided to marry someone whose sister had a decent set of top bollocks on her. I pay my taxes too. I think Pippas a real stunner. And with that super behind she's got, she's pretty enough to be a model. I think she should make some anal porn videos. It would be a real boost for the ailing UK gonzo industry and show the monarchy in a thoroughly modern light. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Pippa's such a naughty girl, teasing all the billions of male viewers across the globe with her pert, peach-like derriere on display in that cheeky, figure-hugging dress. I'd like to put her across my knee, lift that skirt up and give her bare bottom a spanking she'd never forget, the dirty little minx. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 That's it folks. Phew. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Well done chap, I say. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Thanks pie man. Come on other folk show some love... if not, I won't waste my time! Link to post Share on other sites
griller 9 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Cheers gg! Link to post Share on other sites
@tokyo 14 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Honestly, Pippa's arse was certainly good looking, but nothing that extraordinary. Link to post Share on other sites
Error404 0 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 You are doing a fine job grungy. Link to post Share on other sites
big-will 7 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Yes don't stop the good work gg. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 In these troubled times, I bring fab news.... new Viz has arrived. Chuckles galore hopefully by the end of the week. Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Are we there yet? Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 He takes such a long time with it Link to post Share on other sites
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