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Wedding stuff - the cost and the presents


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Well a fairly good friend of mine got married yesterday.

I went to the do.

First thing, I was told that the going rate for the present is an envelope with 30,000 yen in it. Write the number and your name on the back to be sure.

 

The ceremony was ok, we had a nice meal, a lot of speeches and stuff.

 

After I came home with a big bag of goodies:

 

- flowers

- cut glass wine glass with my name engraved on it

- some red rice (!)

- bottle of sake

- some ham

- sweets

- 2 cakes

 

Try explaining the present to give and the presents you get to your parents back home!

 

It's all very curious and a bit over the top.

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Quote:
cut glass wine glass with my name engraved on it


With YOUR name on it?!

I wonder what the cost per guest is and how much, er, 'profit' they make out of it?
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I made enough profit at my wedding to pay for the honeymoon and complete a bathroom renovation. We did ask everyone for cash and no gifts and our parents covered all the wedding costs.

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I have 3 weddings in the next few months here, and ALL of them have asked for cash in leui of gifts - and all are Aussies....the days of toasters/bathtowels and coffee cups are gone world over!

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Well most people nowadays have been living together for quite some time before getting married. They usually have most of the material things they need. We can always do with more cash though cheers

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Wish it was socially acceptable to have asked for cash when I got married 20 years ago!

 

I got masses of towel sets (you know the thin horrid ones that often have embroidery on them!) and lots of cut glass/crystal stemmed glasses (when at the time we did not have the money to afford to drink even moderately). I think all the wedding towels are gone now, in fact the only wedding gift we still have that still works is a tiny little colour TV that has its home in the garage with the punching bags and treadmill :-)

 

But I have noticed that the Wedding Gifts have improved an awful lot over the last 20 years, when they are given instead of cash.

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Don't know the cultural difference in J-Land, but in Oz I find it totally inappropriate to give money - it's an insincere and cold way to celebrate the event.

 

Mamabear - even though you got heaps of towels, you eventually used them, right?

 

If I was invited and told to give money (or anything else for that matter), I'd either refuse to go or do the right thing and buy them the best alternative - a gift voucher.

 

There are simply some events where giving money is not right.

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Japan's big on the giving of gifts; if you receive a gift, people usually feel that it's required to return something of equal value. With weddings, the groom and bride will always be at a loss. Wedding receptions are usually a lot more expensive than in Australia (which is why a lot of people had a wedding in Australia... it was cheaper to pay for everyone's airfares + wedding reception than to host it in Japan). Funerals, on the other hand, tend to break even.

 

Monetary gifts are also quite frequent. The difference between Australia and Japan is:

a) It must be given in a ceremonial envelope (different envelopes for the circumstances)

B) It must be fresh notes.

You never give someone used notes or without it being wrapped.

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SubZero I was married in Aus and no one seemed to have any problem with giving money instead of gifts. I'd already been with my wife for 3 years before getting married and we'd bought a house in our first year together. There were no real material things we needed by the time we got married, cash was much more appreciated.

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Originally Posted By: Go Native
SubZero I was married in Aus and no one seemed to have any problem with giving money instead of gifts. I'd already been with my wife for 3 years before getting married and we'd bought a house in our first year together. There were no real material things we needed by the time we got married, cash was much more appreciated.


This for the win! Exactly how I feel. Except cut the living together part and keep the material things I have bought wink
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Originally Posted By: SubZero
Don't know the cultural difference in J-Land, but in Oz I find it totally inappropriate to give money - it's an insincere and cold way to celebrate the event.

Mamabear - even though you got heaps of towels, you eventually used them, right?

If I was invited and told to give money (or anything else for that matter), I'd either refuse to go or do the right thing and buy them the best alternative - a gift voucher.

There are simply some events where giving money is not right.



We got a bunch of cash from our friends for our wedding, it was great and we really needed it at the time.
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I was more than happy to let my wife organise our wedding. I actually didn't want to do anything more than just turn up on the day which is about all I ended up doing. I did organise the honeymoon though.

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