thursday 1 Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 what a farkin busy week. Time for shed loads of beer. Link to post Share on other sites
@tokyo 14 Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Damn. Friday gone. But,,, it is Saturday. This coming week is another good one with another holiday Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Time to haul this one up out of page 4 oblivion Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Friday Joke One very dark and stormy night a travelling salesman was driving along a country road. The rain was so heavy he could hardly see two feet in front of him. He decided that he should stop for the night but didn’t know where. Just then he saw a faint light in the distance and headed toward it. It was a big old country house and the lights were on. “This is great!†he thought and, mustering up the courage, opened the car door and ran for the house. He knocked hard on the front door. An elderly lady answered with her left breast hanging out and she was rubbing it. Shocked the man ventured a look in and saw an equally elderly man walking down the stairs holding and umbrella and masturbating furiously. He thought that this was a little too weird even for him and ran back to the car. A couple of miles down the road he was lucky enough to see another light and thought that his luck may be better here. He stopped the car, worked up his courage and ran for the front door. He knocked and waited. An old man answered the door. “Excuse me but I’m worried about driving in this storm and was hoping you could put me up just for the night,†he explained. The old man was sympathetic “Normally I would but I’ve got all my relatives staying with me from the city. But about two miles back down the road is an elderly couple with plenty of roomâ€. “I’ve been there†said the salesman “And they are really strange. She has her left breast out rubbing it and he is holding an umbrella and masturbating.†“Oh don’t worry about that†the old man explained, “They’re deaf and dumb. She’s telling him to go milk the cows and he’s telling her to get stuffed, it’s raining.†Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 OK Now I am pouting! A long Stemik joke gets a laugh smilie...but a long Mamabear joke gets a "Too long". Sorta funny - but heard it before...I am a Sign Language Interpreter remember! Link to post Share on other sites
farquah 0 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Raining cats and dogs out,...poodles everywhere. badum tsch Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Originally Posted By: Mamabear OK Now I am pouting! A long Stemik joke gets a laugh smilie...but a long Mamabear joke gets a "Too long". Sorta funny - but heard it before...I am a Sign Language Interpreter remember! OK, a belated one Link to post Share on other sites
JA2340 16 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 OK, a rural joke ... A city slicker moves to the country and decides he’s going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, “Give me a hundred baby chickens.†The co-op man complies. A week later the man returns and says, “Give me two hundred baby chickens.†The co-op man complies. Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, “Give me five-hundred baby chickens.†“Wow! The co-op man replies “You must really be doing well !†“Naw,†said the man with a sigh. “I’m either planting them too deep or too far apart!†Link to post Share on other sites
iiyamadude 6 Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Well done all, keep them coming. Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 Time to unwrap the Friday thread. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 not long now Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 anticipating an ace joke Link to post Share on other sites
gerard 6 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 The Lone Ranger and Tonto come into town after riding all day. Their horses are on their last legs so the Lone Ranger asks Tonto to get them some water. The horses drink up but are still looking hot enough to collapse on the spot so the Lone Ranger tells Tonto to run around them as fast as he can to create a breeze to cool the horses down. Tonto complies and the Lone Ranger goes in for some whiskey. 30 minutes later a local comes into the bar and asks "Whose horses are those outside?" Lone Ranger says "Mine. They OK out there?" Local says "Yeah, the horses are fine but you left yer injun running." Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Ah, 7 hours to go. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Friday afternoon already. T-3 hours to happy hour Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 YAY! Friday Evening...I think a glass of wine is in order - I just picked up a new Asus Laptop - now I just gotta learn how to fly it! Few drinks should help. Link to post Share on other sites
tsondaboy 0 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Where's stems??? Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 A wife complains to her husband: ‘You never take me anywhere expensive any more.’ ‘Get your coat on,’ he says. ‘Where are we going?’ she asks excitedly. He replies: ‘To the petrol station.’ Link to post Share on other sites
tsondaboy 0 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 There you are, for a minute I thought you ditched us this Friday. Link to post Share on other sites
veronica 2 Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 How dare he! A topical one this week. Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 thursday night already. mad as a bag of nuts. But, I'm very excited about tomorrows joke. I hope you are hard at work stemik. Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 please make it great as found out I gotta work late tomorrow and not in the best of moods Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 A newlywed couple from Australia were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains in Hakuba. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds. The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK. "Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love". The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window...they're choking my ducks!" Link to post Share on other sites
muikabochi 208 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Ah a local joke! Link to post Share on other sites
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