big-will 7 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 I was talking about this a lot this summer it seems. A few friends of mine have sadly lost a parent or two, but most of us still have two on the go and it is interesting the relationsips people seem to have with their parents. I have a decent relationship with my parents, and as much as I love them, after 10 days staying at home as a base I felt the need to be elsewhere! One of my friends has not properly spoken to his dad for 12 years and is really close to his mum - difficult when they are together. He can't really explain the reason for the breakdown other than they have just never got on, him being "the opposite of his dad". Sounds very complex. Link to post Share on other sites
kkk 7 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 I get on fairly well with both mine, but feel stressed if I am with them for too long - as do they probably, as they are very set in their ways. From what I hear my friends are often feel the same. Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Dad's contribution to the family was sperm donor. Mum used to chase me around the house with a big stick and beat me black and blue. Dad is dead an mum is gaga. I don't give a shit about either of them. Link to post Share on other sites
2pints-mate 0 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Oh dear!! I have a pretty good relationship with my folks, probably better than most of the people I know. Usually see them at least 2/3 times a month, even if for a short time - live fairly close by. Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Soubs, I hope Mini Tarzan never writes that way about me!!! I wonder what your mum really felt about you. As a new mum I guess I think about that kind of stuff a lot. I think about all the things I said to my parents and wonder if they were genuinely hurt or just put it down to me being a teenager. I can remember numberous occasions when they gave up trying to explain reasons to me and just said, you'll understand when you are a parent! They were right about that one! I have a really good relationship with my mum, we are really good friends and we talk for ages on the phone. I stay with her every time I go home and she's been here twice, with a third trip in the pipeline. We don't stress each other out living together. Not sure what to feel about my dad. He makes very little effort to contact me and has never been out to visit, even though he & his wife go on 4 or 5 international holidays a year. Then when I go home he calls me every day, begs me to go and see him and tells me how much he loves me. I guess I love him but he's emotionally hurt both my sisters quite a few times so I suppose I try not to get too involved. Wonder what he would think if he knew that's what I thought?! Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Brother had a walking stick broken across his head, aged about 8, for waking up mum on Sunday morning. Link to post Share on other sites
muikabochi 208 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Get on fairly well with them but I don't see them that much. Going home and living with them for a week or two can become fairly stressful but we manage and I make the effort. As they get older it's like I am the adult and they become the kids in the relationship which sometimes feels odd. A (older) friend of mine had a few kids really early and they are now teenagers. He is going through the teenage torture period - he seems to put most of the stuff he goes through to them being teens, I wouldn't worry about that me jane. Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Crossed posts, me jane. My boys like it here because they don't need to be controlled. The money has all gone, so this December/January, they will be enjoying their mother's will. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt 1 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 I have always got on with mine. Though they are both still fairly mobile and genki it does makes me sad to see them getting older. Nothing much to do about that though apart from enjoy the short time together and when we talk. Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Yeah, I think about that too Curt. I sometimes feel sad that we don't get to spend much time together. Scary to see them getting older too. As I don't see them that often I'm always shocked at how old they look. I suppose they must think the same about me! Link to post Share on other sites
spook 0 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 i get on better with my ma than my pa. i find being around him tough, for reasons i don't really understand. he means well, but he stresses me out. i wouldn't say he is stuck in his ways or anything, as he is quite a modern fellow, i guess i just resist being told what to do, and i think he is wrong alot. oh well. it's weird getting older and seeing the relationship change. it definitely feels like in a few years i will have to start looking after them a bit. and it's also very humbling to grow up a bit and realise all the crap i put them through when i was younger. eeeek, i'm not looking forward to being a parent Link to post Share on other sites
brit-gob 9 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 My dad is rather stubborn (sorry dad, but you'd probably admit it yourself!) and it seems more and more difficult to have a real conversation. As much as I'd like to. We actually get on better when I'm in Japan and we speak every so often on skype or the phone rather than when I'm with the folks. Heard that from a few friends as well seems it might be quite common. Link to post Share on other sites
spook 0 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 yeah, i get along fine with my folks, but i get along with them better when we lived halfway round the wrold from each other.... i think the most important thing for me, is now that i've grown up a bit is realising everything they did for me when i was younger (and everything i took for granted) Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 I used to see my Dad maybe twice a year as a kid. I haven't seen him for maybe 10 years now and don't know his address etc though I guess I could find him if I wanted to. I'm much closer to my mum, though the relationship is superficially cold and I call her by her first name. I think I missed out on a lot as a kid but its great for my kids because I will give them the upbringing I never had. Myself I have been thinking (obsessing) about getting old the past month like I never have before. It's cos I got 2 babies and am approaching 30, which feels like a big milestone. I'll go read some Camus. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 These days I get on well with my parents. I always have with my mum but the old man and I have had our fair share of run ins. Most of I would say ( and the rest of my family) comes from us being so alike.. shit, did I just admit it? Living away from them helped but i think if I had stayed in Oz the relationship would have turned out the same due to me growing up in that time. I talk to them once a week or more sometimes, same with my brother and sister, so I guess you could say that we are all pretty close. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 I get on great with both my parents, in fatc even growing up when most kids were embarrassed by their parents I was proud of them. They were always cool and actually have taken in 3 brothers worth of friends, who got kicked out of their own homes for a short while, yet my parents always found them a space on the floor. Unfortunately just last week my dad, who is just 50, had a heart attack, which really **** me up, I was desperate to go home and see him. But he has recovered well and the surgeons are real happy with his progress, hopefully he will recover to his former jovial self. Although I still wanna go and see him my parents are warning me off. I think I may go home at Xmas whatever the cost and sacrifice my Boarding trip. Somethings are more important eh??!! Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 Sorry about that TB. He's 5 years younger than me. Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 Yes sorry to hear that Tubby Beaver, good to hear he is doing well. I get on well with my mum & dad. We all seem to make that extra effort when I'm back here as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 cheers Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 TB, take them boarding. Best of both worlds. Link to post Share on other sites
base40 0 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 I get on well with my mum but not particularly with my dad unfortunately... we never have really got on well for some reason and thats not going to change. Link to post Share on other sites
samurai 0 Posted August 17, 2007 Share Posted August 17, 2007 TB- did your dad get a stent? What kind of surgery did he have? on topic, I am becoming more and more like my father everyday, and I'm stoked for that. My only concern is that I'll never be half the man he is. There is no person in this world more influential than my father. My mom rules too. Living in Japan is really hard. My wife is also close with her parents. Our goal this year is to figure out a way to live in both countries because being away from family sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 Originally Posted By: samurai Our goal this year is to figure out a way to live in both countries because being away from family sucks. I gotta get that sorted out too, coz I think my boys are going to miss their J grandparents big time when we move back next year. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 He didn't actually need an operation. Luckily he didn't black out and he was able to get medical help before his heart fully stopped. He was given blood thinning drugs and responded really well to them. He got home this morning (UK time), so that is a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
giggsy 0 Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 Good news mate. My dad had what sounds like something similar a few years ago - and is just fine now. Link to post Share on other sites
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