nagpants 1 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Two of my friends got married last year. I know the bloke longer than the lady but call them both really good friends. I didn't see any problems there at all, seem(ed) to be getting on really well and all lovey and all. Anyway I found out that the lady is having an affair with another local guy - basically saw them in a restaurant the other night and it was quite obvious.... So I'm wondering what if anything to do or say. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 tough one. All I can say is that if I was your mate, I'd hope/expect a good mate to tell me. Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 I agree with Bushpig. I would hope that someone would tell me. Then again he might not believe you and it could end up ruining your friendship. Good Luck. Let us know what you decide. Link to post Share on other sites
Kumapix 0 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 don't tell him what you suspect, just mention what you saw. let him come to his own conclusions. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 yeah, I agree. Don't put any interpretation on it. You know, I don't reckon that any of my mates would stop being mates with me if I told them something like that. If they did, then I would know the friendship wasn't all that strong in the first place. I'd definitely be more pissed off at finding out later that a friend knew and didn't say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Tell him what you saw, and let him find out what was going on. I would appreciate a mate telling me the truth rather than hiding it (unless he was the culprit). Mates look out for each other and if you can't be straight with each other then what's the point? Link to post Share on other sites
TJ OZ 0 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 I say tell him as well unless you want to try one on the lady friend. Well at least you know she strays. Link to post Share on other sites
griller 9 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 In the movies when a friend tells another friend, the friend that is getting told always gets annoyed and angry with the telling friend, so be careful. Seriously, awkward one that. I'd tell the friend. Link to post Share on other sites
daver 0 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 i'd tell her that i know. put the pressure on her to fess up. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by daver: i'd tell her that i know. put the pressure on her to fess up. or to throw a bit your way if she's hot! Link to post Share on other sites
snobee 0 Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 You'd want to be 100% damn sure of the facts before going off half-cocked. Things are not what they always seem. In the event that they are, Indo's advice seems as good as any. Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 Have you considered blackmailing the woman? Link to post Share on other sites
oo 1 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Quote: Things are not what they always seem. Totally agree, do a bit of investigative work before taking the step of moving in. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 the tricky point is probably where she denies it and then the friend is forced to decide who to believe. If he takes her word, and you have actually said she is cheating (not just saying what you saw) then where does that leave you in his eyes? As people have already suggested, just a simple relaying of what you saw, without any interpretation on it, is probably the safest way to handle it. As I said before, I would hope that a mate would tell me something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
nagpants 1 Posted April 24, 2006 Author Share Posted April 24, 2006 Thanks for the posts everyone - I'll be seeing them later this week so I think I'm going to see how that goes and go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 good luck mate. Let us know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
snobee 0 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I was just talking this topic over with a friend yesterday and she also agreed that erring on the side of caution is better than fuelling something that could be nothing at all. It reminded me of the case a few years back where a "foreigner" - kiwi I think - took some foil wrapped sandwiches to his apartment rooftop to eat while watching the sunset. He was spotted by a resident, who promptly rang the police to alert them that a gaijin was on the roof with a WEAPON. It seems half of Tokyo's finest(?)raced there before the misunderstanding was realized. Hope all turns out OK. Link to post Share on other sites
1 4 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 A weapon?! Though it's not funny I suppose! Link to post Share on other sites
guzzlers-baps 0 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I'd talk with my friend about their relationship first and see what the vibes are then make my mind up. It would be hard not to say something though. Link to post Share on other sites
TJ OZ 0 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 You have obviously never been hit in the head by a pastrami on pumpernikel bread sandwich they hurt like hell. Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 If he's a good mate, tell him what you saw over a few drinks. Link to post Share on other sites
nagpants 1 Posted May 10, 2006 Author Share Posted May 10, 2006 Sorry for the late update. Anyway, I met with them and all seemed fine, they were all over each other. The other night I went out with some beers with my friend and I told him, as tactfully as possible I thought, that I'd seen her and he picked up on it straight away. He basically had a shout at me and left, this was just 2 nights ago. I'm going to give him a call tonight, see whats up. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki's Passion 1 Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 sounds rough nagpants - but if hes a good mate he will understand your intentions. If he had a shout at you maybe its because he wonders the same thing. If a good mate of mine said that to me I wouldnt be mad at them - Id be pissed if it was true but would actually be glad that they were saying what they saw. Link to post Share on other sites
misorano 1 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Give Cheaters a call. They may pop over from Texas and do a bit. For those without Reality TV Click here Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Or, get the London Boots fellas on the case! They are masters at the art of busting unfaithful partners. Link to post Share on other sites
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