A "what would you do" question

[nagpants 1]

Two of my friends got married last year. I know the bloke longer than the lady but call them both really good friends. I didn't see any problems there at all, seem(ed) to be getting on really well and all lovey and all.

 

Anyway I found out that the lady is having an affair with another local guy - basically saw them in a restaurant the other night and it was quite obvious....

 

So I'm wondering what if anything to do or say.

[bushpig 0]

tough one. All I can say is that if I was your mate, I'd hope/expect a good mate to tell me.

[me jane 0]

I agree with Bushpig. I would hope that someone would tell me. Then again he might not believe you and it could end up ruining your friendship.

Good Luck. Let us know what you decide.

[Kumapix 0]

don't tell him what you suspect,　just mention what you saw.

let him come to his own conclusions.

[bushpig 0]

yeah, I agree. Don't put any interpretation on it. You know, I don't reckon that any of my mates would stop being mates with me if I told them something like that. If they did, then I would know the friendship wasn't all that strong in the first place. I'd definitely be more pissed off at finding out later that a friend knew and didn't say anything.

[indosnm 0]

Tell him what you saw, and let him find out what was going on.

 

I would appreciate a mate telling me the truth rather than hiding it (unless he was the culprit). Mates look out for each other and if you can't be straight with each other then what's the point?

[TJ OZ 0]

I say tell him as well unless you want to try one on the lady friend. Well at least you know she strays.

[griller 9]

In the movies when a friend tells another friend, the friend that is getting told always gets annoyed and angry with the telling friend, so be careful.

 

Seriously, awkward one that.

 

I'd tell the friend.

[daver 0]

i'd tell her that i know. put the pressure on her to fess up.

[indosnm 0]

 Quote:

Originally posted by daver:
i'd tell her that i know. put the pressure on her to fess up.

or to throw a bit your way if she's hot!

[snobee 0]

You'd want to be 100% damn sure of the facts before going off half-cocked.

 

Things are not what they always seem.

 

In the event that they are, Indo's advice seems as good as any.

[bobby12 0]

Have you considered blackmailing the woman?

[oo 1]

 Quote:

Things are not what they always seem.

Totally agree, do a bit of investigative work before taking the step of moving in.

[bushpig 0]

the tricky point is probably where she denies it and then the friend is forced to decide who to believe. If he takes her word, and you have actually said she is cheating (not just saying what you saw) then where does that leave you in his eyes? As people have already suggested, just a simple relaying of what you saw, without any interpretation on it, is probably the safest way to handle it. As I said before, I would hope that a mate would tell me something like that.

[nagpants 1]

Thanks for the posts everyone - I'll be seeing them later this week so I think I'm going to see how that goes and go from there.

[bushpig 0]

good luck mate. Let us know how it goes.

[snobee 0]

I was just talking this topic over with a friend yesterday and she also agreed that erring on the side of caution is better than fuelling something that could be nothing at all.

 

It reminded me of the case a few years back where a "foreigner" - kiwi I think - took some foil wrapped sandwiches to his apartment rooftop to eat while watching the sunset. He was spotted by a resident, who promptly rang the police to alert them that a gaijin was on the roof with a WEAPON.

 

It seems half of Tokyo's finest(?)raced there before the misunderstanding was realized.

 

Hope all turns out OK.

[1 4]

A weapon?! Though it's not funny I suppose!

[guzzlers-baps 0]

I'd talk with my friend about their relationship first and see what the vibes are then make my mind up. It would be hard not to say something though.

[TJ OZ 0]

You have obviously never been hit in the head by a pastrami on pumpernikel bread sandwich they hurt like hell.

[BagOfCrisps 24]

If he's a good mate, tell him what you saw over a few drinks.

[nagpants 1]

Sorry for the late update.

 

Anyway, I met with them and all seemed fine, they were all over each other. The other night I went out with some beers with my friend and I told him, as tactfully as possible I thought, that I'd seen her and he picked up on it straight away. He basically had a shout at me and left, this was just 2 nights ago. I'm going to give him a call tonight, see whats up.

[Yuki's Passion 1]

sounds rough nagpants - but if hes a good mate he will understand your intentions. If he had a shout at you maybe its because he wonders the same thing. If a good mate of mine said that to me I wouldnt be mad at them - Id be pissed if it was true but would actually be glad that they were saying what they saw.

[misorano 1]

Give Cheaters a call. They may pop over from Texas and do a bit.

For those without Reality TV Click here

[bushpig 0]

Or, get the London Boots fellas on the case! They are masters at the art of busting unfaithful partners.