Im beat like a red-headed stepchild.

[jared 0]

I have come across a few great expressions just lately and Im looking for more.

 

"Taking the kids to the pool" or "laying a cable" for taking a dump

 

and

 

"Im beat like a red-headed stepchild." for tired

 

please add more.

[damian 0]

your sister bangs like a barn door on a windy night.

[Dims 0]

Or "I am as tired as a one-legged man in an arse kicking competition"

[mattlucas 0]

I'm on that like a fat kid on a smarty

[kintaro 0]

It's hotter than a witches tit in a brass braw in a forest fire!

[rach 1]

Not quite the same but my nan used to say "its H O T warm" when it was hot for some reason. Some northern thing I believe. Always struck me as being a really silly thing to say.

 

Yawn, I'm tired. I am as tired as a one-legged man in an arse kicking competition, perhaps.

[Ocean11 0]

"It's a bit like Pearl Harbor this morning" for "it's chilly".

 

(there's a nip in the air.)

[indosnm 0]

" I'm going as fast as an Ethiopian with a Hungry Jacks voucher"

[DumbStick 13]

My grandad knew some very crude ones.

[damian 0]

all over the place like a mad woman's shit

[damian 0]

My old man used to have a saying to describe something of low cost, quality and performance that would "carry on like a two bob watch". I believe that a "bob" was colloquial speak for one British Pound, a unit of currency. I grew up hearing this stupid saying and as I reached my mature years modified it thus:

 

"carrying on like a two dollar hooker".

 

In my opinion it conveys the same inference of poor performance as a result of low cost and quality. Yet it is somehow more contemporary, indeed a saying for the modern man.

[nzlegend 1]

 Quote:

Originally posted by DumbStick:
My grandad knew some very crude ones.

like this one for a really ugly woman
"shes got a face like a carpenters toolkit - full of sores(saws)".

[jared 0]

deader than a whore house at dawn.

[spook 0]

going off like a frog in a sock.

for reasons beyond my understanding, i can't get enough of that one

[Plucky 0]

 Quote:

Originally posted by Ocean11:
"It's a bit like Pearl Harbor this morning" for "it's chilly".

(there's a nip in the air.)

Nice. Kinda like 'I was blown away by this girl - kinda like 'a guy' in hiroshima'

**quotes in quotes to be nice.

[Dims 0]

Yeah I love the frog in a sock one too. Always gets a laugh out of me. .

 

"Couldn't drive a greased stick up a cats bum" talking about bad drivers gives me a giggle.

[boardbaka 3]

Honestly just overheard this one...while I was reading this forum "Fantastic- like tits of plastic!"....made me chuckle just the timing of it!

[maoriboy 0]

how about "like stink on shit" or "goes down faster than a 2 dollar hooker".

[Davo 1]

"About as much use as tits on a bull" or "About as much use as a chocolate teapot"

[Ocean11 0]

When my grandmother wanted somebody to make her a cup of tea, she would say things like, "(I'm so thirsty) I couldn't spit on a sixpence."

 

This always made my mother's face go into an involuntary grimace. The old sixpences were quite large coins, and the image of Grandma trying to cover the surface of one with spit was rather unpleasant.

[stripper on coke 0]

I've got a couple to add to the list

 

1). 'sweating like some kind of farm animal'

 

2). (a more crude version - don't read if you might be offended - that's my disclosure before I even tell it) - 'sweating like a rapist' - (not sure if this allures to a courtroom setting or not.....)

 

3). '(George W) couldn't organise a root in a brothel'

 

4). 'it sticks like spoof to a blanket'

 

 

P.S. I am not being anti-american in number 3 - I just believe he can't.......