veronica 2 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Men feel free to post a women version. What do you think girls? Lets add some more Quote: 1 They believe house fairies (ie us) do all the washing-up and laundry, take the rubbish out and replenish stocks. 2 They expect praise having completed a tiny task (despite taking ages over it). 3 They suffer from sporadic blocked nostril syndrome — the inability to smell their own bodily odours, foul bins or blocked sinks — but are sniffer dogs when you’ve drunk too much white wine or there’s a roast in the oven. 4 They jump in with fix-it solutions when we just want to be heard — they don’t seem to understand we like whingeing. 5 They are incapable of thinking beyond the next week and arranging holidays/fun things for us to do. Closely linked to... 6 Datelexia: an inability to remember (or care about) things we’ve planned. Ditto birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s. 7 They get all our friends’ children’s/partners’ names wrong, even the ones we’ve just seen. 8 They are reluctant to go to bed, always finding a distraction in television, computers and faffing. 9 They “suffer†from man flu and shameless hypochondria. 10 They spend our savings on platinum noise-cancelling headphones and other ridiculous, expensive gadgets. 11 They “shower snork†— clearing their nose in the shower. 12 They leave bachelor-style coin pile-ups everywhere. 13 They have zero patience for shopping except when it’s for them, which they pursue with clinical OCD. 14 They spend hours on the loo. Can it be that arduous? 15 They send cryptic texts because they haven’t given them enough (any) thought. 16 They always seem to want to break their necks skiing. 17 They assume highway restrictions do not apply to them. “You can’t be banned unless you’re more than 30mph over the limit.†So that’s 99mph all the way down the M40, then. 18 Their “quick drink†brings them back, wasted, at 4am (and, apparently, also turns their mobile off). 19 They are conflict-avoidant, preferring to let issues stew. 20 They belch loudly and proudly in public (and private). 21 They never make the bed — “it needs to airâ€. 22 They hog the telly. 23 They worship their mother, believing she is perfect and talking about her way too much. 24 They lust after anything with bare legs and large breasts. 25 They believe Cheryl Cole is 100% natural. UK friend just sent me on. I have been finding out who Cheryl Cole is! Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 1 They believe house fairies (ie us) do all the washing-up and laundry, take the rubbish out and replenish stocks. women think DIY is done by house gnomes 2 They expect praise having completed a tiny task (despite taking ages over it). Women require praise to boost their ego, and expect lies from obvious questions. 3 They suffer from sporadic blocked nostril syndrome — the inability to smell their own bodily odours, foul bins or blocked sinks — but are sniffer dogs when you’ve drunk too much white wine or there’s a roast in the oven. Women suffer from overperfumesness - yes, you really do need 10 sprays of your favourite fragrance. 4 They jump in with fix-it solutions when we just want to be heard — they don’t seem to understand we like whingeing. Women don't seem to understand that men hate whinging 5 They are incapable of thinking beyond the next week and arranging holidays/fun things for us to do. Closely linked to... Becuase we have too much going on... Closely linked to 6 Datelexia: an inability to remember (or care about) things we’ve planned. Ditto birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s. have you tried remembering all the sporting dates for the year, something has to give. 7 They get all our friends’ children’s/partners’ names wrong, even the ones we’ve just seen. if a women's friends were memorable enough then we would remember 8 They are reluctant to go to bed, always finding a distraction in television, computers and faffing. If women were introduce sex into this equation, we'd be in bed before you 9 They “suffer†from man flu and shameless hypochondria. flu kills you know, better to be safe then sorry. 10 They spend our savings on platinum noise-cancelling headphones and other ridiculous, expensive gadgets. We just save you blowing it on another pair of shoes that you don't need 11 They “shower snork†— clearing their nose in the shower. Women de-lint in the shower, and leave hair around the tub 12 They leave bachelor-style coin pile-ups everywhere. have you seen the rate at which banks are screwing up. We could always put them under the mattress 13 They have zero patience for shopping except when it’s for them, which they pursue with clinical OCD. Because we know what we want to buy, so takes 5 minutes. 14 They spend hours on the loo. Can it be that arduous? ditto for women. 15 They send cryptic texts because they haven’t given them enough (any) thought. Women speak cryptically, and expect us to understand 16 They always seem to want to break their necks skiing. Have you ever heard of someone breaking their neck gardening? 17 They assume highway restrictions do not apply to them. “You can’t be banned unless you’re more than 30mph over the limit.†So that’s 99mph all the way down the M40, then. We try to outrun the women drivers. 18 Their “quick drink†brings them back, wasted, at 4am (and, apparently, also turns their mobile off). And a women's small drink, means a bottle of lambrini 19 They are conflict-avoidant, preferring to let issues stew. Men have fights outside pubs, women just ignore their friends when something MAY have happened 20 They belch loudly and proudly in public (and private). Explosive gases build up - and women fart too 21 They never make the bed — “it needs to airâ€. See previous point 22 They hog the telly. Otherwise we end up watching some terrible dramas hours on end 23 They worship their mother, believing she is perfect and talking about her way too much. wait till you have a son, you'll love it. 24 They lust after anything with bare legs and large breasts. Women lust after anything with a six pack and well manicured nails 25 They believe Cheryl Cole is 100% natural. where shall we start? Link to post Share on other sites
mitchpee 10 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 awesome rebuttle Rob, agree 101% Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Problems with women? Most of them never had a orgasm. Problems with men ... Most of them had never given them one. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Originally Posted By: veronica Men feel free to post a women version. What do you think girls? Lets add some more Quote: 1 They believe house fairies (ie us) do all the washing-up and laundry, take the rubbish out and replenish stocks. 2 They expect praise having completed a tiny task (despite taking ages over it). 3 They suffer from sporadic blocked nostril syndrome — the inability to smell their own bodily odours, foul bins or blocked sinks — but are sniffer dogs when you’ve drunk too much white wine or there’s a roast in the oven. 4 They jump in with fix-it solutions when we just want to be heard — they don’t seem to understand we like whingeing. 5 They are incapable of thinking beyond the next week and arranging holidays/fun things for us to do. Closely linked to... 6 Datelexia: an inability to remember (or care about) things we’ve planned. Ditto birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s. 7 They get all our friends’ children’s/partners’ names wrong, even the ones we’ve just seen. 8 They are reluctant to go to bed, always finding a distraction in television, computers and faffing. 9 They “suffer†from man flu and shameless hypochondria. 10 They spend our savings on platinum noise-cancelling headphones and other ridiculous, expensive gadgets. 11 They “shower snork†— clearing their nose in the shower. 12 They leave bachelor-style coin pile-ups everywhere. 13 They have zero patience for shopping except when it’s for them, which they pursue with clinical OCD. 14 They spend hours on the loo. Can it be that arduous? 15 They send cryptic texts because they haven’t given them enough (any) thought. 16 They always seem to want to break their necks skiing. 17 They assume highway restrictions do not apply to them. “You can’t be banned unless you’re more than 30mph over the limit.†So that’s 99mph all the way down the M40, then. 18 Their “quick drink†brings them back, wasted, at 4am (and, apparently, also turns their mobile off). 19 They are conflict-avoidant, preferring to let issues stew. 20 They belch loudly and proudly in public (and private). 21 They never make the bed — “it needs to airâ€. 22 They hog the telly. 23 They worship their mother, believing she is perfect and talking about her way too much. 24 They lust after anything with bare legs and large breasts. 25 They believe Cheryl Cole is 100% natural. UK friend just sent me on. I have been finding out who Cheryl Cole is! whoa!!! have you been speaking to my girlfriend??!! Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Originally Posted By: Jynxx Problems with women? Most of them never had a orgasm. Problems with men ... Most of them had never given them one. Need some tips jynxx? Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Tubby....you highlighted precisely the ones I would attribute to Papa as well! Although I would add #4 ... the fix it solution that fixes nothing, and I was just sharing and wanting some dialogue on the issue (not whinging...don't like whinging...DISCUSSING) Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 You would attribute them all? Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 what's wrong with leaving little piles of coins around the place?? Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 No. Tubby has BOLDed the ones he selected. #'s 8,12,13,14,and 18 Link to post Share on other sites
Mantas 3 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Mmmm.. I can see with all this feminist talk, we are going to have to lower that glass ceiling a bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 with GPS, we don't need to ask for directions. Link to post Share on other sites
veronica 2 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 I meant to add another. They just don't post their reports from The Vale. Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Women can be total slackers too, v! Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Originally Posted By: Mamabear No. Tubby has BOLDed the ones he selected. #'s 8,12,13,14,and 18 Blame the designers who made this phone as doesn't show the bolded effect. Probably female in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 ROFL Link to post Share on other sites
JA2340 16 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Quote: 13 They have zero patience for shopping except when it’s for them, which they pursue with clinical OCD. Shopping = wandering about looking at heaps of shit and not buying anything - only ONE question - WHY? Buying = going to a shop that sells what you need, going in, paying for it and coming back out with the item you needed in the first place. Obvious result is that you come out with what you wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I like shopping. It helps me find things I don't need but start wanting. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 JA, shopping is a good way to find out about products and people. It's a field trip to study psychology and micro economics. It's a bit like golf. A silly excuse to go for a walk on artificial landscape and hit a small ball with a walking stick. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 The trouble with some old men; they have no sense of humour!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Probably they know that there is no point ... Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Excessive serial shopping I'm not into, but come on surely most people enjoy a bit of shopping - especially when it is for themsevles! Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Deciding on what car to get is a pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Go Native 70 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I'm definitely a guy who dislikes shopping, even for myself. I reckon I would spend less than a few hours all year shopping. I'll head in to buy things, usually after checking online or in a catalogue but can't stand just walking around looking into shops. Besides some new ski gear or other outdoor gear for kayaking or hiking there's very little I ever actually buy anyway. Unless it's for outdoor stuff I especially hate clothes shopping so end up surviving on an extremely small range of clothes, most of which can be used just as well on a hike as in town. Link to post Share on other sites
gareth_oau 2 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I despise shopping, mostly. I can window shop for expensive watches, and exotic cars, but even thats limited. I can only 'enjoy' shopping if I pre-know what i want, can get in and out of the store with transaction completed, in less than 1 minute and 47.3 seconds. any more that that, and the store must have a husband-chair or I walk!! Link to post Share on other sites
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