grungy-gonads 54 Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 Hey Top Tips fans. New Viz arrived today Link to post Share on other sites
Schneebored 0 Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 yyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 Get them posted! Link to post Share on other sites
muikabochi 208 Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 I'm really looking forward to these! Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 are we there yet? Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 are we there yet? Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 Come on GG!! Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 and Eileen Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 my gg is almost past the post. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 Motorists. Buy 4 wheel clamps from Argos for 15 quid each, park anywhere you like and attach them to your car. Wardens will be unable to attach any more clamps and it is still cheaper than the release fee. Traditionalists. Be sure to do things the way they've always been done and be sure to disregard anything new or innovative. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 Raspberries make excellent afros for mice. They are also very tasty. Girls. Try licking piss off a lemon before taking your profile picture. Hey presto! The perfect Facebook pout. Bird watchers. Get a closer look at birds by shooting them, then picking them up for inspection. Make your own snow by wafting steam from the kettle into the freezer and quickly slamming the door. Round dodgers. Saying "do you want a pint or are you alright?" Makes it so uncomfortable for the recipient that they will invariably decline your kind offer. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 Bad guys. Ensure your captives are tied or handcuffed properly as a seprisingly high number of good guys manage to cast off their shackles. Jeremy Kyle. Avoid causing offence when speaking to the vermin on your show by saying "I'm not judging you" before slagging them off. This will enable the tawts in the audience to nod in a superior manner. Motorhome owners. Instead of towing your Smart car behind your motorhome, tow your motorhome behind your Smart car as they are much more fuel efficient. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 Bakers and toaster makers. Get together and decide what f!cking size slices of bread should be and stick to it. Butchers. Copy DVD makers: scrape up all the offcuts from the floor, add them to the meat and charge people more for the "extras". First class stamps make excellent posters for patriotic ants. A Pedometer sellotaped to your arse allows you to keep a statistical record of your sexual activity. To find out how long a piece of string is, pull it straight and measure the distance between the ends. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 Put all your coins into a jar of vinegar. Pickled cash will last a lot longer than "fresh" money. Spies. Why not hide messages you don't want others to read as Terms and Conditions on anything on the internet. Enjoy a "cliffhanger" ending to every show you watch on TB by watching it on Sky+. The last 5 minutes will be missing. Guaranteed. Women. Despite what advertisers claim, men couldn't give a shit about the size of your lashes. Buy a push-up bra instead. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 LETTERS Why oh why are we constantly forced to pay for things in shops? When are these shop keepers going to realise that if they gave stuff away for free, they would have more satisfied customers who would be more likely to visit the shop again. Furthermore, they would recommend the shop to all their friends. In my view it is common sense, but I'm sure these fat cat shopkeepers will carry on with their blinkered ways. Nigella Lawson said on her cooking programme that with her busy schedule,, she finds certain things difficult to fit in, like her kids and her husband. She forgot to mention her tits into her bra. I haven't got any DVD box sets myself, but if someone has one that isn't "Friend", could they send it to channel E4 so they have something else to put on? Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 I've never met "the next man", but based on the miserable old bastard who claim to be as liberal, tolerant and fun-loving as him, I don't think I particularly want to. If supermarkets have trouble with people parking in the disabled bays, why don't they simply move them to the far end of the car park. The long walk to the door would soon put off using spaces that they weren't entitled to. These "Baby on Board" signs in the back of cars really get my goat. Firstly, a car is not a boat or a spaceship. And secondly, if I'm being told this so I don't crash into the back of it, then, it's a bit pointless as I generally don't choose the cars I run into the back of. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 When the Black Eyed Peas wrote the lyrics "I've got a good feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night", they obviously didn't have the foresight to think the song would be played on the jukebox in the Railway Inn, Studley. Or anywhere within the Redditch area on any night. The new Halifax advert appears to be telling me that #taking my money out# is some sort of perk. Are there any other banks I don't know about that are operating some kind of finders keepers policy? Lionel Richie is not only rich, but I think he looks a bit like a lion too. What are the chances of that? Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 That's it folks. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 excellent. Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 EXPERIENCE what it was like to be a Leeds United fan in 2002 by being a Liverpool fan today Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 Liverpool fans. Switch over to Everton, they are higher up the table and still scousers (sort of). Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Good news Top Tips fans! The new Viz has arrived. Give me a bit of time and I'll get some up. Link to post Share on other sites
Schneebored 0 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 oooooooooooooooooooooooooh yes! Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Link to post Share on other sites
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