thursday 1 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 It ain't Friday less there's a Stem joke. Friday cancelled. Link to post Share on other sites
SnowJapan Admin SnowJapan 178 Posted November 29, 2008 SnowJapan Admin Share Posted November 29, 2008 I don't think we are paying enough. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Nah, you pay me plenty. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 its not saturday yet Leaving the poker party, late as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car’s engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone." "You’ve got the wrong technique, my friend," his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on my wife’s ass, and ask, ’How ’bout a little?’ and she pretends to be asleep." Link to post Share on other sites
SnowJapan Admin SnowJapan 178 Posted December 5, 2008 SnowJapan Admin Share Posted December 5, 2008 It's Friday and I have too many things to do. Anyone help with a joke? Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 Friday Joke...for a busy SJF Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first. One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details. " This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?" The man replied, "I'm from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone." Link to post Share on other sites
SnowJapan Admin SnowJapan 178 Posted December 5, 2008 SnowJapan Admin Share Posted December 5, 2008 Thank you stemik Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking." Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 I'm soo tired today. Too much drinking after yesterdays meeting had me not at my best when I woke up at 6.20 this morning!!! Can't wait to go to bed again Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 then have another laugh Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ? " Link to post Share on other sites
yoroshiku onegai shimasu 2 Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 good ones. see you on the other side Link to post Share on other sites
@tokyo 14 Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 White Christmas. There, thats my joke. I'm daring the spoilsport anti-snow-gods. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 It's the last Friday before Christmas. Time for golf. Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 its fathers v kids soccer today.!! Well probably get beat! Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 How old are the kids stemik? You'll have to report on that. Link to post Share on other sites
foreversnow 5 Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 Mental day at work - 36oC - No snow in Niseko to keep me cool. I HAVE NEXT FRIDAY OFF YIPPPEEEE!! No storm tonight to cool things off Link to post Share on other sites
stemik 14 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 Originally Posted By: scouser How old are the kids stemik? You'll have to report on that. It was the under 7's tonight. We had a mixed team of Moms and Dads. A lot of fun...actually some of the Moms are quite pretty....might have to start taking a bit more interest! Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 Stemik! In case no one ever told ya the rules are you are not to 'pick up' at your kids school or at kids sport. It is just not kosher!! It felt like Friday today. Family went wakeboarding for the last time before we fly to colder climes, its all work work presents and packing for the next week. A BBQ, a cold beer and some successful wake jumps - not to mention some pretty specky donutting by the kids - what an awesome afternoon. Thanks to Daylight Saving we were done by 9pm and home by 10pm. Pulling out the snow gear to pack tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
mina2 6 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 Where you off to Mamabear? Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 :-( Not Japan. Zermatt Switzerland via HK, London, Paris, Milan. Will be fun. But it is not Japan. Link to post Share on other sites
SnowJapan Admin SnowJapan 178 Posted December 20, 2008 SnowJapan Admin Share Posted December 20, 2008 Have a good trip - how long will that last? Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 5 weeks all up SJF. But no rest for the wicked - I will be taking the laptop with me! Will let you know how the snow is going over there (mid Jan)- and ooohh and ahhhh at the Japan Webcams Link to post Share on other sites
IIIII 2 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 5 weeks! That's some trip! Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 5 weeks for a trip? For me that sounds like emigrating Link to post Share on other sites
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