scouser 4 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Just look at some of the jokes aimed at us scousers. I think it's disgusting. ( ) Do you come from somewhere that has tons of jokes made about it/it's people? Please share. ----- Q) What do you call a Scouser in a suit? A) The accused. Q) What do you call a Scouser in a semi-detached house? A) A burglar. Q) What do you call a Scouser at University? A) A Porter. Q) What do you call a Scouse girl in a white shell suit? A) The Bride. Q) How can you tell if a Scouse girl has an orgasm? A) She drops her chips. (This one's from "The Hindus") Q) What do you say to a Scouser with a job? A) "Big Mac and fries, please". _____________________________________________________________ A Bosnian footballer is signed to Liverpool Football Club. In his first game he scores three goals against Manchester United. The crowd go wild - everyone loves him. He’s Man Of The Match. He’s so pleased he phones home to tell his Mum. “It’s all very well for you” she says. “You don’t think about us - all our posessions have been stolen, you sister’s been raped, your father’s been shot, our house has been burnt down and your brother’s been kidnapped”. “I’m really sorry about all that, Mum, but I don’t see what it’s got to do with me” “Well Son, you’re the one who insisted we move to Liverpool”. _____________________________________________________________ Two Scousers walk up to the Pearly Gates and ask St Peter if they can come in. “Hmm...” Says Peter, “I don’t know... Scousers, we’ve had trouble with you lot before... Tell you what, you wait here and I’ll ask the Boss”. Peter goes to see God. “God, there’s two Scousers at the gates who want to come in”. “Hmm...” Says God. “I don’t know... We’ve had a lot of trouble with Scousers. Tell them to wait, and I’ll have a think about it”. “OK” says Peter, and he gets off. A few minutes later he’s back. “God, they’ve gone”. God says “I thought I told you to have them wait”. “No”, says Peter, “not the Scousers - the gates have gone”. Link to post Share on other sites
A lawyer 0 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 I see a common theme coming through there... Link to post Share on other sites
tsondaboy 0 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 We also have many jokes of this kind in Greece. I come from Athens (the capital) so “we” have jokes for the rest of the Greek cities. i.e. For the town I studied in during the university tears: Why do camels live in Sahara desert and people from “Patras” in Patra city? Because camels got to pick first. You can adjust the above for Liverpool I guess. Why do camels live in Sahara desert and Scousers in Liverpool? Because camels got to pick first. Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted January 21, 2005 Author Share Posted January 21, 2005 haha A new scouser joke... well done! Link to post Share on other sites
tsondaboy 0 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Also a Joke I just heard today. I hope the administrators don’t censor it because it is dirty. It goes like this: What’s the common thing in Tsunami and pussy? Both come warm and wet. Both go with houses and cars... Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 There's even a scouser.com at, surprisingly, http://www.scouser.com And some more jokes http://www.scouser.com/humour/index.html Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki's Passion 1 Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 I get it... Scouser = Redneck Link to post Share on other sites
white-void 0 Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Not sure about that, hey scouser? Link to post Share on other sites
2pints-mate 0 Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 I'm surprised he hasn't nicked the forum Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted January 25, 2005 Author Share Posted January 25, 2005 Haha. Scouser = redneck. That's rather severe. Scousers are just misunderstood. Link to post Share on other sites
js 0 Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 If a Redneck = banjo and moonshine, does a Scouser = tyre lever and a pint of Stella? Link to post Share on other sites
muikabochi 208 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Scousers provide endless entertainment. Seriously, a good scouser is an excellent friend for life. (Just keep an eye on those tyres). Link to post Share on other sites
Weegeoff 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Two old Scouse ladies at the bingo One said did you come on the bus. Yes I disguised it as a asthma attack Link to post Share on other sites
brett_jackson 0 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Man, that's some funny shit Weegeoff Link to post Share on other sites
rach 1 Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 I've met our friend scouser on these here forums and I can tell you there's no need to worry. My tyres survived. Link to post Share on other sites
rach 1 Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 I've met our friend scouser on these here forums and I can tell you there's no need to worry. My tyres survived. Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted February 6, 2005 Author Share Posted February 6, 2005 Why thank you rach. I was putting on my good side. Link to post Share on other sites
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