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The FOOTBALL Thread (2010-2011)


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Wonder if he'll end up with a round like Tiger?

 

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"Wayne Rooney facing new sex romp claims as girl No. 2 emerges"

 

 

And as further claims emerged about the star – in Switzerland for England’s game tonight – a pal of prostitute Jenny Thompson said: “There’s a lot more to come out.â€

 

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Wayne Rooney and his mates sniggered as they picked out a series of strippers from a phone book and called them up to parties at his lavish hotel rooms.

 

The football idol and his close friends ordered girl after girl from classified adverts to liven up his nights at his £300-a-night suite.

 

A source said: “Wayne and his friends thought it was hysterical. They’d joke at who would show up. They used to get a directory sent up from reception and pick out what took their fancy.

 

 

 

Rooney, yesterday:

 

SNN1509A_280_1044507a.jpg

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Scholesy interview, rubbish interviewer, but Scholesy interviews are not common, so....

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/8933749.stm

 

You can imagine make-up telling him to cover up that sore on his mush, he probably just told them to piss off. Doesn't give a shit about this kind of thing. What a Ginger Star.

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Originally Posted By: Mr Wiggles
If anything, I feel sorry for him.


If that was not sarcasm... why do you feel sorry for him, Mr Wiggles?
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BREAKING NEWS

 

ROONEY ENDS PROSTITUTE DROUGHT

06-09-10

 

MANCHESTER United fans were celebrating last night after Wayne Rooney ended a six year prostitute revelation drought.

 

The Rooneys will soon begin the sad task of dividing up their mountain of ghastly possessions.

 

The striker was back to his best after a series of spectacular £1200-a-night intercourse sessions with a money-grubbing tart who was obviously going to tell the News of the World the moment he crawled back into his childish car.

 

It is the England star's first competitive sex scandal since pumping some fat old skank in the changing room of a Merseyside shell suit boutique in 2004.

 

Manager Sir Alex Ferguson said: "A lot of people will say that a player of Wayne's extreme wealth and intense stupidity should be bedding greasy whores week in-week out.

 

"I think even Wayne would accept that they have a point, but the fact that this lad was able to do it while his wife was pregnant is genuinely world class."

 

Fabio Capello has also welcomed Rooney's return to whore-mongering form.

 

The England manager said: "The low point was in South Africa, after the Germany game, when Wayne attempted a reverse Dutch Steamboat with a local hooker and ended up fracturing his wrist, losing the remote control and scaring the sweet bejesus out of Peter Crouch.

 

"For a player of his abilities this was basic sex trade and I worried he'd have to hang up his Travelodge loyalty card for good. But that one in the papers? I would beat you to death with Clive Tyldesley's just to watch her clean the bathroom."

 

Adulterologist Dr Emma Bradford said it was still unclear how Rooney's wife Coleen would react but it would almost certainly involve a shameless amount of money, the repeated use of the words 'RAT' and 'TEARS' in massive capital letters and then some more money.

 

She added: "It's such a tragedy because they have been together since Wayne was thinking about having sex with prostitutes as a 14 year-old boy.

 

"But unfortunately this is the guaranteed outcome when you hitch your wagon to an arse-faced millionaire with the brain of a stuffed gibbon."

 

Meanwhile some England fans stressed the exposé had once again forced them to imagine what Rooney's orgasm face might look like.

 

Wayne Hayes, from Hatfield, said: "I reckon it's like an angry, sunburnt tortoise that's just stubbed its toe."

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Originally Posted By: pie-eater
BREAKING NEWS

ROONEY ENDS PROSTITUTE DROUGHT
06-09-10

MANCHESTER United fans were celebrating last night after Wayne Rooney ended a six year prostitute revelation drought.

The Rooneys will soon begin the sad task of dividing up their mountain of ghastly possessions.

The striker was back to his best after a series of spectacular £1200-a-night intercourse sessions with a money-grubbing tart who was obviously going to tell the News of the World the moment he crawled back into his childish car.

It is the England star's first competitive sex scandal since pumping some fat old skank in the changing room of a Merseyside shell suit boutique in 2004.

Manager Sir Alex Ferguson said: "A lot of people will say that a player of Wayne's extreme wealth and intense stupidity should be bedding greasy whores week in-week out.

"I think even Wayne would accept that they have a point, but the fact that this lad was able to do it while his wife was pregnant is genuinely world class."

Fabio Capello has also welcomed Rooney's return to whore-mongering form.

The England manager said: "The low point was in South Africa, after the Germany game, when Wayne attempted a reverse Dutch Steamboat with a local hooker and ended up fracturing his wrist, losing the remote control and scaring the sweet bejesus out of Peter Crouch.

"For a player of his abilities this was basic sex trade and I worried he'd have to hang up his Travelodge loyalty card for good. But that one in the papers? I would beat you to death with Clive Tyldesley's just to watch her clean the bathroom."

Adulterologist Dr Emma Bradford said it was still unclear how Rooney's wife Coleen would react but it would almost certainly involve a shameless amount of money, the repeated use of the words 'RAT' and 'TEARS' in massive capital letters and then some more money.

She added: "It's such a tragedy because they have been together since Wayne was thinking about having sex with prostitutes as a 14 year-old boy.

"But unfortunately this is the guaranteed outcome when you hitch your wagon to an arse-faced millionaire with the brain of a stuffed gibbon."

Meanwhile some England fans stressed the exposé had once again forced them to imagine what Rooney's orgasm face might look like.

Wayne Hayes, from Hatfield, said: "I reckon it's like an angry, sunburnt tortoise that's just stubbed its toe."


lol
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