pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 It seems to me that tramps are always so miserable, moaning about this, grumbling about that, and always with a face as long as a fiddle. I know they haven't got much to smile about, but such a negative attitude is never going to get them anywhere. Come on tramps, perk up. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Is nobody else suspicious that zebras look like convict horses? Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I have always been intrigued by dogs' behavious where they sniff each others bottoms. So when I was in the park last week, I crept up behind a dog and gave its anus a good sniff to see what it's all about. I must admit, I don't get wheat they see in it at all. I certainly won't be doing it again. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Why don't people who get tattoos choose a simple arial font instead of all this fancy calligraphy? I always struggle a bit to read their child's name or favourite quote down their neck or around their wrist. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Why is it that people like birdsong so much? It's just a noise. If you were sitting peacefully in your garden trying to have a nap and the neighbours kids were playing the same five note tune on a tin whistle over and over again you'd poke your head over the hedge and tell then to shut the fukk up. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 If anything, I find that Liverpudlians just get angrier if you tell them to 'calm down'. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Why don't female tennis players change their names to porn ones like Felicity Forehand or Heavenly Sets. With their skimpy outfits and rhythmic grunting, surely that's the missing ingredient? Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Want to sneak out of a room without being noticed? Simply moonwalk out, and people will think you are walking in. Argentina. Take the piss by calling Falkland Islanders an 'implanted population' in Spanish. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Phishing scammers. Putting three exclamation marks at the end of the subject of an email makes me less inclined to believe it's actually from Barclays Bank. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Recreate a Welsh holiday by sitting under the shower whilst wandering around Blaenau Ffestiniog on Google Maps. And get all the family to pretend they don't speak and English. Men visiting Newcastle. Make the locals think you are gay by simply smelling a flower. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Attractive ladies. Before going to the dentist, ensure you put your knickers on the wrong way round. This will ensure that they will be correct when you wake up from your 'check up'. Lady motorist. Ensure that male drivers take you seriously by attatching large plastic eyelashes around the headlights of your vehicle (**** actually saw some of these last week!) Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 OK that's it. Got to get back to one of the dome projects. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Good work, pie-eater! Link to post Share on other sites
ProbablyaCrazyPerson 2 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Some good ones there. Link to post Share on other sites
kokodoko 67 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Argentina. Take the piss by calling Falkland Islanders an 'implanted population' in Spanish. I like that one.. Link to post Share on other sites
DumbStick 13 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I like that first lesbian one. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexander L 80 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Ace. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexander L 80 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Yes, that lesso one does make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
tokabochi 9 Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Why don't female tennis players change their names to porn ones like Felicity Forehand or Heavenly Sets. With their skimpy outfits and rhythmic grunting, surely that's the missing ingredient? Or how about Maria Sugarpova to promote their sugary products? Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 I read about that. Cheeky vixen. Link to post Share on other sites
@tokyo 14 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Always good for a laugh Link to post Share on other sites
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