The Birth Story

[me jane 0]

Well it's only taken me 5 months to write but here it is.

Warning: It's a very very long post. Only read if you've got lots of time at work or are pregnant and need the info!

 

Mini Me Tarzan was five months old yesterday and I am finally getting around to writing up the birth story.

 

The short version

After 51 hours of labour and a 16-minute delivery he was born at 9.01am on October 26th, weighing 3,252g and measuring 51.5cms long (not sure if babies can be tall as they don’t stand up).

 

Extra info, which doesn’t really fit in the story

Fairy Godmother, who is mentioned quite a lot below, is a friend who (very luckily for me) happens to be a nurse qualified in both the US and Japan. She doesn’t work at the hospital where I gave birth.

 

The long version with all the gory details

Pregnancy

It all started in November of 2005 with Me Tarzan and I getting married and deciding to try for a baby. The wedding itself was a very exciting affair – we went to the City Hall, signed a bit of paper, which I couldn’t read, and that was it. We didn’t have to say any vows or make any promises! Then in Feb I was at a friend’s wedding in Hawaii and found myself almost crying at the ceremony. Thinking that wasn’t really like me, I wondered if I was pregnant. Did a test when I got back to Japan a few days later and I was!

Pregnancy progressed with me wondering when the “pregnancy glow” was going to kick in and the morning sickness stop. Neither did. I can’t understand why anyone would say they enjoyed being pregnant: Aches and pains in places I never knew existed, throwing up most mornings & feelings sick the rest of the time, unable to sleep on my stomach, unable to sleep on my back, and when I finally did get to sleep on my side propped up by ten thousand cushions (with Me Tarzan left with only about 20cms of bed), I would wake up every few hours to go to the toilet or with a sudden and really painful cramp in my leg.

Labour

Eventually things started to progress and at about 6am on Tues 24th I realized I was in labour. The first 12 hours or so were fine and I spent most of the day getting excited and calling everyone to say that I was either in labour or my guts were gearing themselves up to explode down the toilet! Luckily Tuesday was Me Tarzan’s night off so I didn’t have to worry about him not being able to get back from work in time. By the evening the pains had started to get stronger and I couldn’t do much but lie in bed. I could still breathe through them with Me Tarzan putting pressure on my back during each contraction. The contractions were 3 mins apart for most of the night. Needless to say neither of us were to get any sleep that night.

By about 2 or 3am (Wed 25th) I was bleeding quite a lot. I knew to expect blood but I didn’t know how much was okay so we went to the hospital to check. Fairy Godmother, picked us up and drove us to the hospital. At the hosp they said that the bleeding was not a problem, strapped a monitor round my stomach to measure the contractions & fetal heart rate and told me that I could either be admitted or go back home to labour for a while. As there was no private room going to be available until lunchtime (Wed) I decided to go home until then.

By about 8 or 9am in the morning (Wed) the pain was pretty intense and with contractions still at 3 mins apart Me Tarzan & Fairy Godmother started to worry that if we didn’t get to the hospital soon it would be too difficult for me to move. I kind of wanted to stay at home as I didn’t think being at the hospital would help me as they couldn’t do anything. A lot of hospitals, including mine, don’t agree with giving drugs for birth in Japan. The hospitals don’t see pregnant women as patients but rather as “customers” and think that it’s the mothers’ duty to deal with the pain! It’s supposed to make you a better mother or something. I didn’t have the energy to argue and, as Me Tarzan & Fairy Godmother were both canceling their work and other commitments to stay with me and help, I agreed. By the time we arrived in the hospital I didn’t really care where I was anyway.

For some bizarre reason I wasn’t allowed to go straight up to the maternity inpatients ward and had to walk through the whole hospital – stopping to hold onto the wall and breathe through each contraction to get to the ob/gyn outpatients section where I had to have an internal exam before being allowed to walk back across to the other side of the hospital and go up in the lift to get to the maternity ward. The whole process took about 45mins for a 2 min exam. They knew I was in labour as they had checked me a few hours earlier but I suppose the hospital rulebook said that’s how things had to be done. Whatever - I gave all the waiting patients I walked past something to talk about when they got home anyway. At the internal exam they told me that my cervix was only 3cms dilated, despite the fact that I had now been in labour for over 24 hours. You usually get told to push when you are at 10cms.

When I finally got to the maternity ward I was put behind a curtain in a communal labour room with Me Tarzan & Fairy Godmother. Fairy Godmother went back down to the car to pick up my suitcase, backpack & holdall. The nurses were a bit shocked at the amount of luggage I had but I needed almost everything! I had the monitor strapped back on my stomach again. The contractions were getting more painful and I wasn’t really interested in what was going on around me. Me Tarzan was still helping with the pain with counter-pressure on my back and Fairy Godmother was dealing with all my admission paperwork & writing out translations of all the instructions & schedules they gave me for me to read after the birth.

Lots of midwives and doctors came in to visit me, say hello, tell me to breathe (“fuuu… fuuu… fuuu” as they call it in Japanese), or to give me internal checks and tell me that I was still 3cms dilated. They also changed the maternity pads (like huge sanitary pads) as there was all sorts of stuff flowing out by now! In Japan they have these special pants with flap attached by Velcro so you don’t have to take them off every time you get an exam.

The next visitor was the hospital dietician. She wanted to know what food I could & couldn’t eat. I couldn’t have cared less about food and didn’t even open my eyes. It seemed like she was there for hours while Me Tarzan & Fairy Godmother discussed what I was going to eat for the next week. She was actually a really nice lady but I just didn’t have the energy to deal with anything but the pain.

Another girl in labour arrived. We heard her conversation with the midwife through the curtain.

Midwife: Does it hurt?

Girl: No, not at all

Midwife: Let me check you…oh, that’s good, you are 8cms dilated

Girl: But it doesn’t hurt at all…

Midwife: You are lucky.

Girl: Is it normal?

Midwife: No, most people have pain at 8cms.

All this while I lie the other side of the curtain thinking that I’m not sure if I’ll be able to cope with pain any greater than that which had got me to 3cms. I think Me Tarzan & Fairy Godmother were entertained by my sarcastic comments about Miss 8 cms as she became known from then on.

By early Wed afternoon, a private room had opened up and I was allowed to move. Probably a good thing as things started to get messy a few hours after moving. My mum was arriving in Japan that day and coming to stay and help until the end of the year. Another friend picked her up from the airport and brought her to the hospital just after I had been installed in my new room. I started crying when I saw her. She told me that by this time tomorrow I would have forgotten it all. I remembered that through the contractions on Wed night. She didn’t stay long as I was in no position to talk so my friend took her home to my house to sleep.

Just after she left, I felt as though I had wet myself. It was a really weird feeling as I knew I hadn’t. I asked Me Tarzan to tell the nurse my water had broken while I slid on the soaking wet floor to the toilet (ensuite). The midwife checked me and said it was the outer bag of waters. She also said I was still at 3cms. The contraction pain moved up a few levels after that and while Me Tarzan helped me through them, Fairy Godmother & the nurse moped up the floor.

The two day doctors came in to say they was going home for the night & to introduce the next doctor. They said that if I hadn’t delivered by morning (Thurs) we would discuss using Oxytocin (a drug to bring on stronger contractions). I’d heard so many bad things about it and I knew I wouldn’t be letting them give me any of that but didn’t see the point in telling him that until the morning as I might have given birth by then.

Lots of midwives came and went and when one told me I was at 5cms I cried. I was so happy to have progressed. They next person who checked said I was still at 3 though so perhaps she had just been trying to be nice to me. Me Tarzan stayed with me the entire time with Fairy Godmother going out to get him food.

One of the midwives brought a newborn baby in to visit me to encourage me. He gripped my finger really hard and that almost made me cry too! I was quite a mess!

At some point in the early hours of Thursday morning I went to the toilet and suddenly felt a warm round thing slip out between my legs! “Oh my God, Oh my God, the baby’s going to come out down the toilet!” I panicked, but logic told me that it was just the inner bag of waters. It felt like a warm water filled balloon hanging out of me. I didn’t know what to do and was just sitting on the toilet supporting this thing. Then in between the pain of the contractions I gasped to Me Tarzan to get a nurse. When she saw me she went back out to get reinforcements and two of them told me that it would be best to break the bag as they couldn’t very well leave it hanging out between my legs! It was pretty gross. I agreed and they broke it. Lots more water gushed out.

Now we were in business. The contractions suddenly became so painful. I heard a really loud cry of someone in pain and it took me a few seconds to realize that the sound was coming from me. I wasn’t consciously controlling my breath or screaming but the sounds were just coming out of me with each contraction. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. The counter pressure that Me Tarzan had been helping with suddenly didn’t work anymore and as I felt the first twinge of each contraction I screamed for Me Tarzan to give me his hand so that I could squeeze it through the contraction. Quite a miracle that he survived with no broken fingers. This went on for a few hours with me swatting away the poor midwives who came in from time to time to check me or to put the monitor around my stomach. I was sure I was in transition (the final and most painful stage before you actually give birth).

Morning came around and one of the doctors from the previous day came in to see me. She checked me and said I was at 6cms. Six cms after 50 hours of labour! She started talking about that Oxytocin stuff again. I told her that if after 50 hours I needed Oxytocin I was quite likely to end up needing a C-section so she might as well go right ahead and give me one. True, she said, but I should try the Oxytocin first. Off she went to went to get the other doctor to discuss c-section options with him. They both came back and said that they could be ready to give me a c-section in about an hour if I wanted and that I should have a think & discuss it with Me Tarzan. Have a think! Thinking was the last thing I was going to do. I’d read lots beforehand and had already decided what I wanted. I was just about to explain this to Me Tarzan when a huge contraction came and (this part is disgusting) that dump I hadn’t been able to take since labour started, just slid out! Two doctors, two midwives, Fairy Godmother & Me Tarzan were all in the rooms worrying about c-sections while I was shouting at Fairy Godmother to tell the midwife that I needed help (though not so politely)! I couldn’t put my full weight down on the bed for obvious reasons! Then another contraction and this time I felt a kind of full feeling in the birth canal. “He’s out, he’s out”, I was shouting at anyone who would listen but I don’t think anyone believed me as the doctor still thought I was at 6cms and was going to need Oxytocin. Finally I managed to get someone’s attention and a nurse checked and confirmed that baby Mini Me Tarzan was indeed on his way out. He obviously was not interested in the Oxytocin either.

Delivery

A few more midwives burst in with a wheelchair and Fairy Godmother told me to sit in it. I said that I’d walk as I still hadn’t got to the toilet or been cleaned up! Hospital policy – I wasn’t allowed to walk, so they rushed out and came back with a stretcher! Then I felt like I was in a scene from ER as about ten people lifted me onto it with me still trying not to put too much weight down! They ran down the corridor and then lifted me onto the delivery chair/bed type contraption and put my feel up on these footrest things (not exactly stirrups but a similar position). There was a big clock in front of me. It said 8:59am. They put some huge green disposable baggy socks on me that came up to my thighs and put a tube under my nose to give me extra oxygen. They asked if they could put a catheter in to free up some space for the baby to come down. Yep, no problem, do it. I didn’t expect that to hurt as much as it did though. During my pregnancy I’d been quite vocal about how I didn’t want an episiotomy except in an absolute emergency and my doctors had reluctantly agreed but had been convinced that I would tear. I told them that whether of not I tore depended more on the skill of the doctor than the size of the baby. I don’t think they believed me but they must have taken some of it to heart because in the delivery room the midwife in charge told me they were going to try a new technique so I could give birth slowly. Anyway Me Tarzan and Fairy Godmother were standing up by my head and the midwife was telling me when to breathe in and out. Fairy Godmother was nervous and kept confusing inhale & exhale in her translations. Then the doctor was telling me to look at my knees and not to close my eyes. Finally there were so many people telling different things about when to breathe and push, I just did what my body was telling me. I didn’t feel him moving down the birth canal, as the pain of the contractions was so strong. I screamed a lot! The midwife told me when his head was out but otherwise I wouldn’t have known. After that the contractions subsided and I felt the rest of his body slide out. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant sensation although it didn’t hurt. I looked at the clock 9:15am. It was all over so quickly, so much for birthing him slowly!

The midwife lifted him up for me, Me Tarzan & Fairy Godmother to see. He had the cord around his neck but it didn’t cause any problems, as the cord was so long – 87cms! (Usually 70cms is considered a long cord.) His APGAR scores were 8 at 1 min and 9 at 5mins (Health scores out of 10 given at birth and at five mins after). Both points were lost on skin colour (probably because of the cord). Anyway they untangled him and put him on my chest. We left the hospital on October 31st, approx 700 thousand yen poorer (as pregnancy is not a disease, in addition to no drugs, it’s not covered by insurance!) and one baby richer.

After the birth

I don’t think I ever reached the legendary 10cms as his head circumference was small and I survived the birth relatively unscathed. Going to the toilet for the first few days was a bit painful because of the catheter they’d put in too quickly but not tearing or having an episiotomy made my recovery easy.

I was so grateful that Me Tarzan stayed with me the entire time. It would have been much worse if I’d had to do it alone! I was also really lucky to have Fairy Godmother, who in addition to being there for the whole labour and actual delivery, came to every hospital appointment with me, translating my numerous questions and concerns for the doctors. I think Me Tarzan & Fairy Godmother were as tired as me by the time it was all over and then they had to go to work that day.

Feeding issues

When he was 36 hours old, Mini Me Tarzan had to spend 24 hours in an incubator for jaundice (with an eye mask on which Me Tarzan drew eyes). The hospital recommended I gave him formula as he needed to drink to get the jaundice out of his body, and he wasn’t latching on well. I gave him a combination of breast, expressed breast and formula milk. I spent the next few days with Mini Me Tarzan at the breast crying because he couldn’t latch on, then hand pumping while he slept to feed him the expressed milk when he woke up. I didn’t sleep at all. Every time I wanted to feed I called a midwife to help me but no one could get him to latch on. I had so much milk I looked like Pamela Anderson, and my boobs literally came up to my chin. It was so painful and I had to walk around holding one arm under each of them to support them! The day after I was discharged I was so engorged that I developed mastitis and a temperature and still couldn’t get Mini Me Tarzan to breastfeed. I ended up going back to the hospital. They were no help so I went home. I was so stressed out and snapped at everyone. That afternoon Fairy Godmother I found a great private midwife clinic where they got Mini Me Tarzan to latch on within the hour. Four or five visits to that clinic and I was sorted.

Never ending story

After arriving home and dealing with all the engorgement & feeding issues it took me about 4 weeks to relax and start to enjoy the baby. Just as I was thinking it was all over I got the buggy stuck at the bottom of the down escalator. The people behind all piled in top of me and I broke my rib! I wasn’t allowed to lift the baby for 4 weeks! Luckily my mum had planned to stay until the end of the year and that was a huge help.

 

Of course it was all worth it but both Me Tarzan & I have agreed that we are not having any more! I'm sure Fairy Godmother will be pretty happy to hear that too.

 

Thanks for reading!

[lin 0]

Thanks for the in-depth report! 5 months - wow has that gone quickly for you?

[BagOfCrisps 24]

What a read! Well done on both the birth and story! Glad I don't have to go through any of that lot!!

[veronica 2]

Thank you for sharing all that, me jane! Sounds like some experience.

[soubriquet 0]

Gambatte

 

Thanks me jane. I was there for mine, not an easy task for any woman. No1 had APGAR score of 3. It took them 4 minutes after delivery to get him intubated and aerated. Watching your baby not-breathe for 4 minutes is stressful.

[bobby12 0]

Nice post. My wife should be going into labour with our 2nd sometime in the next few days, hopefully I will be at work at the time ;-)

[rach 1]

Good read me jane

 

Not sure if that turns me round on the not wanting kids thing

 

Hope it goes well with number 2 bobby12.

[big-will 7]

 Quote:

or my guts were gearing themselves up to explode down the toilet!

Gory indeed. But very interesting.

[thursday 1]

nice write up Jane, lots of detail.

 

Now tell me when I can expect to get more than 2 hours' sleep between feedings.

[gamera 0]

Yup, never ending story me jane.

When the baby starts walking around, you need to put all your attention on him/her all the time. Babies are so curious about anything. They check stuff by putting them into their mouth, so you have to stop it if the stuff were not good for the baby to put in!

I have not had any kids of my own yet, but I have some younger brothers and caterd for them as the eldest brother. Diapers stinked a lot! lol

 

Take it easy, it's a 365 days stuff. You can never get any sick , flu, fever etc. Even your house is messed around, no one will die. All your attention and physical strength now are for the baby.

Gambatte!

[2pints-mate 0]

Great story me jane.

 

Just read this before:

 

New parents can lose two months of sleep in the first year of their baby's life, a survey has suggested.

The poll of 500 mums and dads showed a third regularly lose 90 minutes sleep per night, equating to a full night's sleep every week, or 68 in a year.

 

And almost half of new parents argue over who has less sleep, with mothers claiming they lose the most.

 

Midwives said the problems, exposed in the survey by nursery products company Tomy, affect first-time parents most.

[indosnm 0]

 Quote:

Originally posted by 2pints,mate:
Great story me jane.


And almost half of new parents argue over who has less sleep, with mothers claiming they lose the most.

I was and still am in the other half!
I never woke up! But our boys did sleep well, almost as well as their dad!

[me jane 0]

Thanks for the comments, everyone. Rach, hope it didn't put you off too much! I read quite a few birth stories on line while I was pregnant and the lovely-dovey, it was a beautiful experience ones always irritated me. It's just something we girls have to do if we want kids but I'm so glad it's over!!

[bobby12 0]

my wife dashed ours out this morning, seems it was all over in about 90mins from getting to hospital. they gave her no drugs or gas she said, but its seems to have gone OK.

[muikabochi 208]

Congratulations bobby12!

[grungy-gonads 54]

No pics required this time me jane. Thanks for posting.

 

bobby - congrats!

[cheeseman 1]

Good post me jane.

 

That was quick bobby12. Congratulations to you and family.

[eskimobasecamp 0]

Jayne... well done, you are an absolute legend, that sounded like a mission, my god what a story! How's mini me tarzan doing? UMMM i wish i was a man, i don't really fancy going through that at all. Well done girl

[thursday 1]

bobby12,

90 mins must be an SJ record. Well done to your missus and congratulations both.

[me jane 0]

Congrats B12, and to your wife. 90 minutes! That's fantastic!

 

Thanks EBC, mini MT is doing well. Bought him a

the other day.

[thursday 1]

Jane, that's a good idea. must get one for my 3 week old so he can exhaust himself and sleep for 3 hours on the trot.

[its-a-clock 0]

Great that you posted that me jane - inspiring! (And I'm glad I will never be going through what you did!)

[gerard 6]

Just read MJs original a couple of days ago. Very good story. Sounds a lot like our own actually, up until around the 25 hour mark. Hope MJ doesn't mind if I borrow some space on her thread for our story. It'll be much shorter and less detailed since my M-chan isn't an SJer herself. The ending is a happy one.

 

M got up last Tuesday at 4:00 AM. She was two days past her due date but there were still no signs at all. She went for her rountine check early afternoon and watched her favourite hospital drama on TV after that. She would have taken a good nap had she had any idea what was to come. That night, things started to happen.

 

The first mild contractions started a little before 11 PM and they were around 10 minutes apart. M phoned the hospital and they told her to take a bath and try and get some rest until they were 5 minutes apart. M went to bed. I couldn't sleep so I hung out online. If I remember correctly, there was some inane banter involving Thursday and a couple punters at the time.

 

[OK. This is way too detailed! I promised the 'short version'.]

 

Anyway, no sleep. Contractions got faster right away and we were checked into the hospital around midnight. At around 2AM another woman checked into the birthing room next door. About three hours later we heard 'ITTAIII!' four times, then a baby crying. "Well, that's not so bad" M-chan said. "I can deal with that. She only said ‘ittai’ four times…" ....As if things would be that easy.

 

It was a long night. The contractions got progressively more painful but the intervals were about the same, at 5 minutes. The cervix is suppose to dilate to 10 cm to give birth but by morning, M-chan was still 3 or 4 cm –exactly the same as she was on arrival. M's Mum and Dad arrived around 11 AM. Not much changed for the next 12 hours after that. The pain continued to get worse but the intervals were more or less the same. Actually, they even got further apart for a couple of hours and M was still at 3 or 4 cm.

 

I'll skip ahead to the dramatic conclusion. You can re-read MJs original story if you feel ripped-off and want more details.

 

Around midnight, M had been in labour for over 24 hours and hadn't slept in 44. She had been unable to eat for a while and the pain was intense. The baby seemed to be doing OK though. The heart-rate should stay above 120 beats per minute. During the heaviest contractions, his heart-rate was dropping a bit, but we were more concerned for M at that point. She was still dilated to only “3 or 4 cm” so it seemed like there had been no progress after over 24 hours. “10 cm” –yeah, right! How long could this go on? We decided we’d better talk about our options with the doctor. (M was still able to talk for about 1 minute at a time between contractions.)

 

-Pain relief? -Nope. Could slow down the contractions among other things. -OK, how about something strong for me? (he he)

 

-C-section? Not what we had wanted or expected but we were both open to the option at this point so I brought it up. -Hmm... Standard procedure is a labour inducing oxytocin IV first. Both carried risks. Surgery is seen as the last option. From MJs story, it sounds like she had pretty much the same conversation and was opposed to oxytocin. We were apprehensive too, but things had gone on for too long with absolutely no apparent progression so we decided to try it.

 

M was given the IV. The dose was scheduled to increase every 40 minutes, but we wouldn't make it through the first 40. The pain was insane. All I could do was try to provide some relief with massage and pressure and 'coaching' (I wouldn't call it that). M's Mom was a rock and I tried to follow her example. The whole thing was bloody awful to watch. Then, during the peak of the contractions, the baby's heart-rate started diving momentarily to around 80 beats per minute, which I understand to be VERY dangerously low. During the peaks, M would scream, unable to breath properly. She was getting extra oxygen but still couldn't give the baby enough air. We're not loosing this baby! No way!

 

OK. What's the cervix? -Three or four cm! -A c-section, it is!!!

 

Prep seemed to take ages but before that there were a bunch of Japanese release forms that I had to sign. Suddenly the doctors and nurses turned all their attention to me, explaining the Japanese, where to sign and put my finger print, and so on. M writhed in pain by herself. Her Mum was like, "WTF?!" [paraphrasing] Soon enough though, M was wheeled into the operating room. I wanted to go also but that was against the rules. Fair enough.

 

Well, as it turns out, they checked the cervix one last time before cutting M-chan open and it had finally dilated... to about 7 cm. Pretty good, but they felt it was best to go ahead with the c-section. When they found the baby, he was looking very purple and was tangled up in the ambilical cord but he was alive and kicking and scored a 9/10 on the APGAR (losing 1 point for colour). I don't think he would have made the rough trip through the birth canal though because of the stress that was apparent before the c-section and the condition they found him in (tangled in the ambilical cord). It was definitely time to come out. Thank God for medical technology, doctors, nurses, antibiotics, etc. etc.

 

Mom and son are both doing very well. Mom has been healing quickly. Son has a big voice and loves to eat, and chill out with his parents.

 

Amazing!

[thursday 1]

Great report

 

glad to hear alls well and getting better.

 

You will both experience infinite joy day by day.

[Ewok 2 1]

Congratulations on your new family member, ger