Why are meetings so boring?

[scouser 4]

In 30 minutes or so, I'm going in for a weekly meeting. It usually consists of the section heads just talking bullshit as they usually do, and a whole load of cliches coming out.

 

Funny that I should read this article this morning:

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3993483.stm

 

At least they have butties in England - the high point of a decent meeting.

[sanjo 2]

It's the law isn't it?

[Ocean11 0]

I once had a bucho who would say the same thing over and over again in a meeting until he could catch somebody's eye and get some sort of response. Unfortunately what he said was so inane and not worth saying that all his staff sat with their eyes averted and a catatonic look on their faces. While this was quite understandable, it meant that the meeting dragged on for hours.

 

In the end, to get things over with faster, I decided to sit opposite the silly bastard and nod affirmatively at everything he said. He then directed his comments exclusively at me and was satisfied that he had been heard. Meetings went much faster, although of course they were still excruciating. He also seemed to like me although outside of meetings I completely ignored what he told me to do.

[miteyak 0]

What a farce meetings turn out to be. The idea seems to be to give the pretense of group participation, and to get everyone to believe that a decision was arrived at through group consensus, when, in fact, a simple order was given in a convoluted, non-confrontational manner.

[Davo 1]

Yeah they're often just a way of letting everyone know what has been decided while letting them air grievences which will go largely unresolved.

[Yuki's Passion 1]

I luv my school meetings which last for hours. They pass out the prints/flyers/etc minutes before the meeting starts which means that nobody was prepared (go figure). Then, each chump takes turns reading the paper word for word. WTF?!

 

Its a load of rubbish. Nobody listens - each teacher is doing his/her own thing like grading papers, sleeping, reading a magazine, sleeping, talking like 5 year old kids, sleeping, and coming and going.

Just horrendous.

 

Oh, and to answer your question, its cuz the people who have the meetings are boring

[white-void 0]

Yeah I like that too. The meetings usually consist entirely of people reading what is on the paper word for word. No adlib. WTF?

[brett_jackson 0]

Meetings, particularly boring ones, can be fun if you have some games to play at the expense of those doing the talking. One in paticular is 'Buzzword Bingo' where you get together with fellow players before the meeting, find out who's doing the talking, and write down a list of all the frequently used buzzwords they like to use (e.g. liase, channel, infrastructure, pipeline etc. for the IT Industry). You randomly deal out buzzword/s from the list to those playing. During the meeting, keep an ear out for every time your buzzword is mentioned, whispering 'bingo' each time. People not involved in the game will either smile if they know what you're doing, or just look at you strangely.

 

A variation of Buzzword Bingo is Bull$shit Bingo, which can be played either on, or close to your last day of employment at whatever company you work at. It's quite similar to Buzzword Bingo, since most of the time when a buzzword is used, it's all bull$hit anyway (e.g. "We've got a lot of work in the 'pipeline'"). This is especially true if the speaker is what's known as a 'bull$hit artist' (one who frequently talks bull$hit). So .... one buzzword per player, and you think up a total - which indicates how many times your buzzowrd must be used before you win. Upon reaching the total, the player stands up in the middle of the meeting and shouts "BULL$HIT BINGO!!!!". He/She then walks back to their office and awaits the marching orders.

 

See ... meetings can be fun

[white-void 0]

Thanks for the tips, that Buzzword Bingo would be hard to catch up with in our meetings they use so many. The whole meeting is a buzzword.

[Ocean11 0]

Buzzword bingo sounds good, I like that. It's particularly good in Japan where English buzzwords are commonly used but very few people understand what they mean or know how to use them properly. My old bucho liked the word 'dokkingu' and he would use it all the time, and nobody had a clue what he was talking about. He seemed to think our department was a space station. 'IT gijutsu' - (information technology technology) was another favourite.

 

A similar game is quietly anticipating the er's and ah's that buchos annoyingly intersperse their words with. So when the bucho says, "Kore kara, uchi no IT gijutsu wo Intanetto to shikkari to ah, dokkingu shite iku houshin desu", when you think he's going to say "ah", you quietly say "ah" under your breath. This can cause your colleagues to snigger uncontrollably and get themselves in big trouble.

[Ocean11 0]

Oh, and a PDA with games on it is very useful for meetings. You can pretend to be taking notes, but you're really playing that excellent little game with the two gun emplacements firing alternately at each other. You just have to learn to hide your exultation when you hit the other one first.

[big-will 7]

I like the word dokkingu, I use it with my girlfriend quite a lot who finds it very amusing.

 

Good chatup line folks - "Let's Dokkingu"

[sanjo 2]

 

I think lots of people enjoy meetings just for the chance to get away from their everyday mundane tasks. And get a half-sleep.

[veronica 2]

Ocean11 - do you use words like "exultation" in conversation?

[Ocean11 0]

Yes. And I feel very self-conscious when I do. Having a vocabulary can be a trial at times.

[veronica 2]

It must be.

[brett_jackson 0]

Ocean11 - I gather 'bucho' is like a 'boss' or something (forgive my ignorance ... only learning very basic Japanese at the moment). I'm curious ... is it pronounced 'bootch-o'?

 

P.S. Predict the 'ah's and 'um's .... I like it

[Ocean11 0]

Your average bucho is a mid-level manager who has been promoted to his level of incompetence where he stays forever, having bad ideas. I am now my own bucho.

 

The first syllable is more as in 'butch' than 'boo'.

[yamayamayama 2]

I just sit back and enjoy the rest when we have out meetings, as well as of course think how ridiculous many of the people sound reading their printed sheets out loud.

[oo 1]

I sometimes like to cause a bit of fuss in meetings when I'm feeling mean by being controversial. As you know, it doesn't take much. But it causes havoc.

[mina2 6]

I'm in charge of my meetings. They are very few and very short and very painless for all involved.

[scouser 4]

the bucho is the kachos boss right? Who is the buchos boss?

[Yuki's Passion 1]

 Quote:

Originally posted by scouser:
the bucho is the kachos boss right? Who is the buchos boss?

maybe the senmu 専務？or fuku shacho 副社長？ I would think it depends on the company...

[TheOrange 0]

I have a monthly meeting in 10 minutes, it's mind-numbingly boring, usually lasts about 2-3 hours. I usually say about 2 sentences.

 

Wish me luck.