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 Quote:
Originally posted by EustabiaChiq:
Dad, please don`t make us wear white boots and matching outfits
Style point noted, EustabiaChiq. In my defence, last year I had to fit them out fully, so suits came from Jusco and the gear second hand via the internet. Next year will need a new suit, boots and skis, so the catastrophe will never be repeated. \:\)
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  • 2 months later...

Footnote.

 

Had a long talk with No2 son's paediatrician today. She saw hime before he came to Japan, and now she's seen him since. She observed that he is calmer and more co-operative now, and that his confidence has improved. She attributed this to a long holiday with his father, and learning to ski. thumbsup.gif Yessss

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Soubriquet you are a great dad.

 

My dad, lovable as he is, always left stuff like talking to doctors, teachers etc, up to my mum. It's really cool that you are so involved. Glad to hear your kids are doing well. \:\)

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Nicole: your dad probably had the luxury of being able to trust your mother's judgement. Ex-wife diagnosed No1 son as suffering ADD when he was four, and spent another 4 years hawking him around the quacks until she could get him on ritalin. The drugs didn't help, because there was no problem. She diagnosed No2 son as being autistic when he was four, and it took another 4 years to get him classified. She has also diagnosed me as autistic, but has so far failed to get me to the quacks.

 

In the Soviet Union, the system was perfect. Critics and misfits could therefore be classified as mentally ill. I find this a usefull parallel.

 

I keep in regular contact with the education and health authorities, principally because I am involved with my children's development. However, her bringing in the health and welfare authorities makes me a hostage to fortune. Decisions about my children's welfare are made by bureaucrats who are suspicious of absentee fathers. Adherence to the law and good communication are essential for keeping control. She is forced to follow suit.

 

I spent 7 weeks as full-time dad. That's probably more than most fathers spend with their children full-time in any given year.

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sounds like the wife just wants to keep them sedated so she dont have to deal with the kids. mad.gif I think maybe she needs the therpy.

 

Kids usally have lots of energy. Skiing is a good way to channel that enery. Much better than sitting in front of the tube playing video games.

 

Keep up the good work Dad thumbsup.gif

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  • 6 months later...

Perhaps I need to change the title of this thread. I've booked the tickets and my boys are desperate to come. No2 son especially wants to develop his technique. He's keen to ski off-piste. He wants powder.

 

Ex-wife has determined that despite their wishes, mum knows best. No2 is too incapacitated by mental illness (autism) to travel unaccompanied. She wants me to collect and deliver. That's $4000+ extra expense, and six days (3 day turnaround for each return ticket).

 

I don't have the money. Impasse.

 

Did I mention that she has also diagnosed No1 son as having ADD? She's feeding amphetamines into my 13yo son in order to get him to do his homework. Mum knows best mad.gif

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mate, i don't know you or your ex, but you seem pretty cool and she sounds like a freakin nightmare! mad.gif

it must be very very frustrating dealing with someone like that, especially as your children are involved.

hope it all works out for you.

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Soubriquette isn't too impressed, but she's a patient woman, and accepts that people carry baggage, not all of it nice. It causes me a lot of stress, and sometmes consumes me. That sometimes makes it hard to be objective.

 

We have had some movement. This week there's been a bit of a palace revolution, with both boys telling her they intend to come. It's tough for a 13 and 10yo to stand up against a woman with such a righteous belief in herself, but they've done it.

 

I've also had some help from the Child Health Agency, and some fortuitous timing. I keep in contact with the CHA because as father, that's my duty, but also as a counter to my ex's opinions. I'd flagged the contact issue last year, and again on Monday. They both had an assesment yesterday. The paediatrician informed my ex- that in her opinion, both were fit to travel and should come.

 

If I can get this, then it's mission accomplished. I don't interfere with her mothering and she won't be able to interfere with my contact. It's been a bitter power struggle lasting nearly six years. It could be resolved this week. I'm tired.

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i like you bushy. everytime i post something flippant and inane you seem to find it funny.

maybe i could pay you to hang out with me at parties and laugh at my jokes. confused.gif

 

sorry to get offtrack soubs. i'm wishin you all the best wave.gif

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Thanks all. That's a tempting offer, spook. I've been tempted to do something rash in the past, but that just gives people a stick to beat you with. I can fully understand why that bloke spent a week perched in a crane dressed as spiderman, a couple of years ago. I bet it didn't get him more contact with his kids, though.

 

I just want to spend 5 weeks or so chilling out with my kids, and spending time together in the mountains and the snow.

 

Everyone's welcome to post here, especially if it's children having fun in the snow.

 

BoC. Soubriquet (alternative sobriquet) is French for "nickname", or maybe "terminal smartarse".

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Yeah man, its hard now, but so long as you can keep in contact with your grommets everything will be fine.

In 6 or 7 years they’ll be adults and able to do what they want – my bet is that they’ll want to hang with their old man who taught them how to rip on skis.

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