pie-eater 207 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Are you getting to like sex now, ippy? It's that naughty Thailand place isn't it? Start work yet? If I think of any further questions, I'll post them ok? Link to post Share on other sites
ippy 66 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I havent had sex in over 4 years... i think its been that long. But who keeps track? I officially cant get laid in a brothel. Start work on Monday. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Hope it's the dream job for you, ipps! Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I havent had sex in over 4 years... i think its been that long. But who keeps track? I officially cant get laid in a brothel. Start work on Monday. oh God!! Good Luck for the 3.5 seconds when it does happen Link to post Share on other sites
Wizz 11 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 And look forward to the prolonged 10 seconds when you get back in the groove! Link to post Share on other sites
onehunga 26 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I havent had sex in over 4 years... i think its been that long. But who keeps track? I officially cant get laid in a brothel. Start work on Monday. Don't forget to let us know if the the maids cute younger sister is one of your students Link to post Share on other sites
ippy 66 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I havent had sex in over 4 years... i think its been that long. But who keeps track? I officially cant get laid in a brothel. Start work on Monday. oh God!! Good Luck for the 3.5 seconds when it does happen I think im one of the few guys in the world that can legitimately claim to have faked an orgasm (plenty of times), just to save us all the bother. You see, (and in my continuing series of too much information), it takes me around 2 hours of banging away before im going to reach an orgasm. I deliberately use the phrase "banging away" because it conveys that second hour where the heat of the moment quietly disipates and youre thrust awake from that happy glowing world of union and intensity and right back into the real world of work, cleaning, dinner, stress, and mechanical reproduction. The sex goggles fade and the person youre with climbs right back down from that pedestal you had them up on into the sack of shit you see before you. And since objectively I aint that hot, theyre likely the one lowering their standards to pity **** you, so what must it be like for them! Its around this point ill either have to make the decision to keep at it and annoy us all, or anti climactically clamber off and say "that was fun... shall we do something else?" and more often than not the person im with agrees quite happily that weve kinda crested the hill. Link to post Share on other sites
ippy 66 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I havent had sex in over 4 years... i think its been that long. But who keeps track? I officially cant get laid in a brothel. Start work on Monday. Don't forget to let us know if the the maids cute younger sister is one of your students In other maid news, she came around today to change my sheets. She knocked this time, I didnt have pants on. I sat up in my bed (i wasnt exactly awake) staring at the door thinking "i did lock it this time right?" so was about to put some pants on when she walked in (seku-hara!) As soon as she saw i wasnt cracking it though, she walked right in - In flagrante or no. I said "oooh, can i just put some pants on first?" and she gave me the necessary 30 seconds. So turns out friday is sheet changing day. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I think im one of the few guys in the world that can legitimately claim to have faked an orgasm (plenty of times), just to save us all the bother. You see, (and in my continuing series of too much information), it takes me around 2 hours of banging away before im going to reach an orgasm. I deliberately use the phrase "banging away" because it conveys that second hour where the heat of the moment quietly disipates and youre thrust awake from that happy glowing world of union and intensity and right back into the real world of work, cleaning, dinner, stress, and mechanical reproduction. The sex goggles fade and the person youre with climbs right back down from that pedestal you had them up on into the sack of shit you see before you. And since objectively I aint that hot, theyre likely the one lowering their standards to pity **** you, so what must it be like for them! Its around this point ill either have to make the decision to keep at it and annoy us all, or anti climactically clamber off and say "that was fun... shall we do something else?" and more often than not the person im with agrees quite happily that weve kinda crested the hill. Sorry ippy but.... I can only think that you just must be doing it wrong somehow. Link to post Share on other sites
ippy 66 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I think im one of the few guys in the world that can legitimately claim to have faked an orgasm (plenty of times), just to save us all the bother. You see, (and in my continuing series of too much information), it takes me around 2 hours of banging away before im going to reach an orgasm. I deliberately use the phrase "banging away" because it conveys that second hour where the heat of the moment quietly disipates and youre thrust awake from that happy glowing world of union and intensity and right back into the real world of work, cleaning, dinner, stress, and mechanical reproduction. The sex goggles fade and the person youre with climbs right back down from that pedestal you had them up on into the sack of shit you see before you. And since objectively I aint that hot, theyre likely the one lowering their standards to pity **** you, so what must it be like for them! Its around this point ill either have to make the decision to keep at it and annoy us all, or anti climactically clamber off and say "that was fun... shall we do something else?" and more often than not the person im with agrees quite happily that weve kinda crested the hill. Sorry ippy but.... I can only think that you just must be doing it wrong somehow. I definitely am Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 First of all, I'd advise not to try and cop off with "sacks of shit"! You were in Japan, for flips sake! Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 "Now...Mr. Ippy. Let's get to the bottom of all this silly talk.....!" Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Ippy, I don't know whether to laugh or be really sympathetic. Can I do both? Link to post Share on other sites
onehunga 26 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Just laugh in a (sym)pathetic way Link to post Share on other sites
ippy 66 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 It aint that bad. Since sex isnt that interesting, i dont really miss not having it. Its a perfect self contained system. Link to post Share on other sites
grungy-gonads 54 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Sound like it's probably best you don't find out the right way to do it. Anyway, less interested men in the world means more rampant totty for the rest of us! Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Humour us horn dogs Ippy..... The maid's hot too, right? Link to post Share on other sites
ippy 66 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Shes cute. But its thailand, and honestly, thai girls aint really my type. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 ippy's type? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I lasted a whole 9 minutes and then I couldn't stand it any longer..................................I went back and opened Pie's spoiler . damn damn damn - you may have noticed I have been absent from the forum for a while. I have been in spoiler de-tox Bugger, all that time and money down the drain Damn you pieman Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Yes. Resistance is futile. I don't even fight it. We're all spoiler junkies. Link to post Share on other sites
kokodoko 67 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 i found it strangely arousing.. Link to post Share on other sites
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