Jump to content

Recommended Posts

How dare they say a Morgan is Status Quo!!! grandpa

(Car magazine, so I believe)


Alfa Romeo = Sugababes (A beautiful facsimile of better days)

Aston Martin = Bros (All three look identical)

Audi = Coldplay (Slick, unstoppable, slightly annoying)

Bentley = Barry White (The walrus we love)

BMW = Kanye West (Brash, borderline genius)

Bristol = Sir Edward Elgar (Of historical interest only)

Bugatti = The Beatles (Peerless)

Cadillac = Garth Brooks (Loved in America, ignored elsewhere)

Caterham = AC/DC (Been going for decades with just the one riff)

Chevrolet = Michael Jackson (Talented American that’s become a freak)

Chrysler = Bon Jovi (Living on a prayer)

Citroen = Oasis (Once massive, always threatening a comeback)

Corvette = Bruce Springsteen (The boss)

Daihatsu = Ryuichi Sakamoto (Under the radar)

Dodge = New Kids On The Block (Unwelcome reunion tour underway)

Farbio = Fleet Foxes (Up and coming Brits)

Ferrari = U2 (Often brilliant, often pompous)

FIAT = Paul Weller (Veers between Jam highs and Style Council lows)

Ford = Kylie Minogue (Honorary Brit, hugely popular, great chassis)

Honda = David Bowie (Keeps pushing new stuff but we want the old stuff back)

Hummer = Rage Against The Machine (That’s what everyone does)

Hyundai = Busted (Bubblegum stuff but not without some credibility)

Jaguar = Tony Christie (Surprising us after years in the wilderness)

Jeep = Metallica (Ponderous and bombastic)

Kia = Leona Lewis (Characterless machinery gaining popularity fast)

Koenigsegg = Spinal Tap (Turned up to 11)

Lamborghini = Meatloaf (Bat out of hell)

Land-Rover = The Clash (Utterly brilliant but people spit at them)

Lexus = Kraftwerk (Highly technical, largely forgotten)

Lotus = Queen (Much loved Brits who lost a charismatic leader)

Maserati = Dean Martin (Cool, benefits from association with a maestro)

Maybach = The KLF (Pointlessly burned millions)

Mazda = The Prodigy (On the edge of the mainstream)

Mercedes-Benz = Dire Straits (Men of advancing years still love them)

MG = Take That (Back from the dead but unlikely to be around for long)

Mini = The Bootleg Beatles (a tribute act)

Mitsubishi = Utah Saints (Marries tech with raw appeal and a sporadic back catalogue)

Morgan = Status Quo (The 12 bar blues of car production)

Nissan = Amy Winehouse (Good range but all over the place)

Noble = Diesel Park West (Leicester based, had a few hits, not planning more)

Perodua = The Wurzels (You. Just. Wouldn’t)

Porsche = Rolling Stones (Thoroughbred, cool, bankable, peerless)

Renault = Roxy Music (Once at the cutting edge, now plain and cosy)

Rolls-Royce = The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (Classic, vast, British and you can’t even afford to hire it)

SAAB = Robbie Williams (Haven’t had a proper hit since the 1990’s)

Seat = Santana (Latin rhythms)

Skoda = The Sex Pistols (a serious threat to the established order)

Smart = The Small Faces (small)

Ssangyong = A drunken karaoke singer (someone make them stop)

Subaru = Red Hot Chili Peppers (used to rock hard but have lost their edge of late)

Suzuki = Madness (A lot of fun but not meant to be taken seriously)

Toyota = Band Aid (You can’t really go wrong)

Vauxhall = Elton John (Decades of uncoolness but still here)

Volkswagen = Dido (Bland, loved by the middle classes)

Volvo = ABBA (middle of the road, Swedish (obviously))

Link to post
Share on other sites

saw a quote the other day stating that driving a toyota is like driving a refrigerator. incredibly well engineered and built, but boring and lifeless. unfortunately, they will still be on the road in a 1000 years to come!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Create New...