JA2340 16 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 The Senior Alphabet A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead. Try this one ... A's for arthritis, B for the bad back, C's for the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H is for high blood pressure - I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L 's for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow! P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus, bells in my ears! U is for urinary, troubles with flow, V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know. W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y for another year I'm left here behind, and ... Z is for zest I still have - in my mind! Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Put me down for a few of those..................................well, maybe more than a few........................................can't remember. Link to post Share on other sites
Slippery Jim 65 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Think I've avoided H & Q Link to post Share on other sites
snowdude 44 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 At present non of those apply to me, but I guess as I am now 15530 days old I guess it will not be long before some may start to apply to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 J is a bit of a warning sign for me and might lead to A in my crumbling knee Link to post Share on other sites
Big Al 16 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 B, E, K, O & definitely Z (Occasional G, but that goes without saying) Link to post Share on other sites
kokodoko 67 Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 O L D G O A T 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Big Al 16 Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Kokodoko, if you think for one second that the Jets can come up here to Suncorp and beat the Mighty Roar again, you're..........you're....... probably right.... Link to post Share on other sites
foreversnow 5 Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 JA LOVE IT! Classic but scaringly nearly true!! My mind is still 20 but the body feels like it is 100 Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Kokodoko, if you think for one second that the Jets can come up here to Suncorp and beat the Mighty Roar again, you're..........you're....... probably right.... No way Did we not put 4 past them in Townsville.............................with our reserve team The once hi flying Jets have looked very ordinary in pre-season unfortunately. Back on topic.............my knee hurts Link to post Share on other sites
Slippery Jim 65 Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Knee? You're lucky to have a knee! Link to post Share on other sites
JA2340 16 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 Knee? You're lucky to have a knee! ... When I were lad ... Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Check.......check.....check........ oh hell, just check them all... Thanks JA..... Link to post Share on other sites
JA2340 16 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 No probs, Chris ... glad to be of service! Thought it would add some levity! Apparently not! Link to post Share on other sites
HighlyTrainedNovaTeacher 2 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 But you have your life savings to enjoy, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Big Al 16 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 But you have your life savings to enjoy, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
JA2340 16 Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 But you have your life savings to enjoy, don't you? Errrrm... Life costs - savings are when you don't have stuff to spend it on. I ski Japan, from Aus that'll chew up a bit of "life savings" right there! Not COMplaining, just EXplaining. Link to post Share on other sites
dale#1 1 Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 When you're younger it's good to have savings, JA. You might not remember that! Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 When we get older we think differently, don't we? This letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind... especially if you are familiar with the Elderly. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today. Dear Kean Elementary, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Springer Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to go phuck herself. Thank you for that opportunity. Sincerely, Agnes Link to post Share on other sites
HighlyTrainedNovaTeacher 2 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 I was expecting a different kind of ending! Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Agnes sounds JUST like my mother-in-law.... I'm not kidding either... Link to post Share on other sites
hellyer 216 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 ooh that's brave Chriselle I trust Mrs Chriselle does not follow the forums Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Link to post Share on other sites
Big Al 16 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 ooh that's brave Chriselle Brave isn't the word That's bordering kamikaze ! Link to post Share on other sites
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