griller 9 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 It always amazes me when I hear about families living apart from each other because the husband or wives work has moved them out somewhere. Do people not complain about this here or just accept it? I have just heard of another extreme - the family (couple with 2 small kids) are from Chiba and he has just been relocated to Kyushu. From now on for the foreseeable future he will see his family once every few months! He has told me the old "shikata ga nai" as he says bye to his family who are staying behind. Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 I heard that is often a kind of punishment they dish out when they want someone to quit. Link to post Share on other sites
griller 9 Posted November 13, 2007 Author Share Posted November 13, 2007 In this case I highly doubt it. He is a successful salesman in his company, good results and popular. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki's Passion 1 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 We have a dorm for HS students at my school with, both boys and girls, probably over 400 kids. Many of my kids families live abroad, hence theyre in the dorms for HS...my JHS kids cant live in dorms. Not that its acceptable but I think the longer you live here the more you realize just how many fathers/mothers live seperately cuz of work. I had a father come from Tokyo Sunday for a parent teacher interview then went right back to Tokyo...mad really. Link to post Share on other sites
samurai 0 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 quite common. My brother-in-law just got relocated and promoted. He was told the day before his wedding... then given 1 week to pack after he would get back from his honeymoon. They moved. And everybody was just like; that's the way it goes. I'd never put up with that. Actually, at his wedding, his replacement came to the nijikai. he asked me if I ever have to move around throughout my school system. He was surprised that I don't. Actually, he thought I was lying. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Due to integration work, a lot of people from my company have to work somewhere else. Like Taiwan, Shanghai, Seoul, Tokyo. They fly out on Mondays, fly back on Fridays, so they can spend the weekend here with their families. A rather long commute. Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Me Tarzan opened up a bar in Tokyo and closed the local one just before we got married. The commute is about an hour but because of the hours he works 5pm to 4am (but there is no train until 5), even when he does come home, as he is getting into bed, I am getting out of it. When Mini me Tarzan was born we decided to move to Tokyo and that I would commute as then he would be able to finish early on quiet nights and walk home so we could spend time together. We found a place (2DK) and were all set to move but it was 180,000yen a month. My boss decided that Tokyo was noisy and polluted with small apartments and no place for a baby. He was worried that a daily commute with a baby would be too difficult and that as Mrs Me Tarzan in law (who babysits everyday) was nearby it would be better to stay. I think he was scared that I would resign. He offered us company housing (3LDK)for 20,000yen a month, 5 mins walk from my work, 5 mins from the train station 10 mins drive from the in-laws! We did think about going ahead with the move to Tokyo but in the end decided it would be crazy to say no to my boss's offer. Now Me Tarzan only comes home a few times a week cos it's just not worth it. He has Tuesday night & I have Wed day off so we get that block of time together each week but that's about it. Like everyone on here I used to think that it was crazy, that the husband or wife must have been having an affair and that it wasn't a real marriage. I always thought that I would never be in that situation but I am. Neither of us like it but we just deal with it. I suppose the one difference between us and other Japanese families is that we know that it is a temporary situation and are both working to try to change it. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Me Jane, your boos sounds like a good guy that actually cares! lucky you. One of my elemantary students quit a few years back as the company wouldn't pay an allowance or something while the kids were in elementary school. For Jnr High & High school, they'd pay some kind of allowance and the family (minus the father) would return to their original home and attend school. It gets hard as you have kids in school. Who wants to be moving them around all the time? Link to post Share on other sites
sanjo 2 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Good boss me jane! Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 It seems like often people get moved for little rhyme or reason. Its weird, almost like a kind of torture or 'listen to the man' kind of crazy over-authoritarian. I guess it makes you feel 'lucky' when you are not moved away from family and you feel happier about spending every waking moment slaving for your boss. Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 It also begs the question: "wtf are these people getting off on"? Link to post Share on other sites
rach 1 Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 People here seem to accept being told what to do by work and accepting it more than back home where people are amazed when I tell them some of the stories I hear on things like this. Link to post Share on other sites
echineko 1 Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 I would not accept the situation where I do not live with husband for long time. It is not good life I think. Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 I guess when you reach a certain age maybe you start to treasure the time apart and freedom If you become an oyaji and get into the hostess bars, then it would be great I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Originally Posted By: echineko I would not accept the situation where I do not live with husband for long time. It is not good life I think. echineko, you found someone yet? Link to post Share on other sites
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