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Just talking about this on finger nail thread and there are some insane jobs to be had! For example Jennifer Lopez apparently employs a nipple tweaker/fluffer during her video shoots so that she is always smuggling smarties during the filming!!

 

Had a mate who worked on the Kylie Minogue music vid. (the one with the big white dress thing that gets blown in the wind)! His job was to airbrush her nipples out of the picture which were on show a fair bit due to the very low cut top thingy!! How fantastic is that!?!

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I spent a month in a chicken factory standing next to the plucking machine. The chooks came through on the line, hanging from their feet. My job was to hang them from their necks, and band their feet up under the wings. That took about 4 seconds per bird. The nice part was because of all the feathers, blood and shit which showered out of the plucker, I had to wear boots, oil skins and a souwester. It would be ankle deep by the end of the shift.

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A school buddy took a summer job with the town council. For three months his work week was split between the following responsibilities:

 

1. get stoned, listen to walkman, roll back and forth on the cricket pitch using a ride-on roller.

2. get stoned, listen to walkman and early in the morning shoot seagulls with an air rifle in the 'natural wildlife' section of the local park. Spend remainder of day tending the park and talking to girls.

3. get stoned, listen to walkman, wait for the grieving family to leave and then fill in graves at the council lawn cemetery, with a shovel. If it was a busy day he would prompt the family to leave quickly by slowly lingering closer and closer, shovel in hand.

 

That job deranged him. That and our constant accusations that he was shagging his sister (it was just a nasty joke, he wasn't shagging her. I was)

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yep, i've done all sorts of random labour hire work while i was at uni. bulding cirque du soleil with all sorts of travelling carny freaks was a highlight, as was working at the cardboard box factory. and just like in that simpsons episode, they don't actually fold the boxes, they just make them. lots of them.

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Funny you should write that spook. The morning shift was killing, the afternoon packing. My job was standing in front of a foot operated stapler, folding and stapling the boxes. It went: fold in one end, two staples in each corner kerchunkerchunkerchunkerchunk, rotate box and fold the other end (miss a beat) kerchunkerchunkerchunkerchunk. Next box.

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oh man. on all the job sites everyone would discuss their worst ever jobs. the best (worst?) story i ever heard was from a bloke who had to feed baby chickens into a mincing machine to make "blood and bone" manure. bear in mind this could be very far from the truth, but he claimed he was driven out to a poultry farm where he had to load live chicks into crates, stack the crates into a truck and then go back to the, uh, mincing plant.

gruesome. stuff doing that for minimum wage.

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Had a friend get a summer job at the local incinerator. The stench was so bad inside that he vomited everyday for the 1st week. He got used to it after that. Another one worked in a morgue where he had to clean dead peeps' rectums among other things...

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I once worked on a watermelon farm in NW Australia. We would arrive at 7.00 am and form a human chain between the tractor drop point and the road train. The melons got passed along the chain untill all three trailers were full at around 4.00 pm.

The guy who passed the 7lb. watermelons to me was a 18 stone moari. He passed them to me like rugby ball !

I then moved onto a sunflower farm where we walked up and down the rows of sunflowers picking out tthe rougue ones. The rows were 1.2 km long !

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I also worked with fruit. I worked for the Dole Pineapple company for a couple of summers. Bloody hands, boring work but that is were I learned most of my tagalog and Ilikano (sp?)Phillipine languages.

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What is it with the chickens?

 

A friend of mine was a professional chook catcher for years. Every now and then a shed full of chickens ( your talking thousands ) would get a disease. To sort out these diseased chickens they were all handed a peice of water pipe and told to "practise their golf swing!"

One time he was catching turkeys, a much bigger and more aggressive bird, when they ganged up on him. He had to take refuge on top of some fork-lift pallets tell help came !

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I once got paid to bb shoot rats in a macademia nut field. I again only lasted about 6 days. I wasn't that good of a shot and just didn't feel good about it..

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