NutteyCubey 0 Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Hi there I'm kinda new here, new to posting anyways. Looking forward to next winter. I've been reading lots of the threads here, and its great discussion for the most part. I am just a bit dissilusioned with my Japanese friends. I don't seem to get any "deep" real friends going - most of them are the "I wanna practice my English" or "be seen with a gaijin" friend , ie not really friends. How did you get/initially meet your real friends here? Link to post Share on other sites
danz 0 Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 what are your passions??? skiing perhaps?? or music? maybe the outdoors... Japanese people have these passions as well...and if you use that as a launching point, you can get much farther than "I want learn english, lets enjoy drinking"... (although that might be useful for other objectives ) my first group of japanese friends and I have a very tight relationship all surrounded by music...we can communicate on soo many levels, and if language fails us, there is always a song we both know that conveys the meaning...its fun! good luck... danz Link to post Share on other sites
MistaSparkle 0 Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 I've heard other people say the same sort of thing. I think there are alot of factors that might prevent developing "deep" friendships with Japanese friends, but number one has to language. Obviously everything that makes a friend a close is the chemistry you share and the way you communicate. In my experience I've had better relationships with english speaking Japanese friends, and I attribute that to ease of communication. I think my Japanese is ok for everyday shootin the shiat, but articulating myself in meaningful discussion with my Japanese friends is still really difficult. I don't forsee being particularly close with my japanese speaking friends until my japanese improves, but that doesn't prevent me from having good Japanese friends regardless... my 2c... Link to post Share on other sites
BigSausage 0 Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 If people are content to speak with you in Japanese all the time in private and not always talking about "what is your impression of Japan" and all the usuals - -- its a good start! Link to post Share on other sites
cheeseman 1 Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Friends are the ones you can talk cheese with in a relaxed way. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 I'm sure I could have a genuinely friendly conversation with echineko about sex... Link to post Share on other sites
MistaSparkle 0 Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 tsk tsk.... shameless Ocean... shameless. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Like someone said above its better to meet J crew who are into the same stuff as you. I hate the types that hang with their "gaijin" friends to pick up a bit of free english. All my good mates surf or board and are cool guys and don't speak english and don't really view me differently as those seeking the free eigo lesson do. and if you become a senpai to any of them you have a slave for life! Link to post Share on other sites
zwelgen 0 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 I have found it quite tough to make good quality Japanese friends out here and have been screwed over a couple of times by people who I thought were my mates. It definately is a lot easier to make gaijin friends but the Japanese ones are rewarding and you get to see and do lots you wouldnt be able to otherwise. In my experience it is 10x easier to make good same sex friends. I think Japan just doesnt have the opposite sex friend thing like we do (damn my Engish is horrendous) and they cant fathom why youd want to hang out unless you wanted to hook up (but that could be just in the countryside)(and that might be your intention anyway ). like danz said find someone that has the same interestes as you and even if your Japanese kicks ass Ive found its usually the people that have travelled a bit that make the better friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Markie 0 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Quote: Originally posted by zwelgen: have been screwed over a couple of times by people who I thought were my mates. Wow, Zwelgen, do you really have to go into the intimate details? Children read this forum too, you know! Link to post Share on other sites
xxx 2 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Becareful with the "same sex friend" phrase. Take the first word out of it and you're left with.... Link to post Share on other sites
Markie 0 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Yeah, xxx, I know what you mean. I try not to be promiscuous so I usually try to keep the same sex friend for at least a few weeks before moving on! Link to post Share on other sites
enderzero 0 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 nice one Tiger. I spent equal time in the country as I did in Tokyo and it seemed leagues easier to make meaningful friends in the city... Japanese friends at all, really. But there I met some of the coolest cats that I am totally down with. I had one good Japanese friend outside of Tokyo, but a whole ton of em in. I agree with the opposite sex thing to a certain extent. I have always had a lot of close female friends. I noticed that initally it was a little different, but I was able to become good friends with a couple girls in a non-kissing kinda way. So it may be more difficult...but certainly not impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
taguchi 0 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 You can find real friends out there, just be wary of the ones wanting the English tape machine friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Markie 0 Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 I just hope they don't have this same thread in the Japanese Forum saying be careful about the Gaijin who pretends he wants to be your friend when in fact all he wants to do is to practice his Japanese, cos that would be Me! Link to post Share on other sites
enderzero 0 Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 And here I was thinking you had something else on your mind when meeting Japanese girls... Link to post Share on other sites
Markie 0 Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 Quote: Originally posted by enderzero: And here I was thinking you had something else on your mind when meeting Japanese girls... That depends on which mind you are refering to, zeroman. The mind on my hairy head just wants to learn more Japanese language and culture and be friendly and is happy to make friends with anyone whether male or female, young or old, etc. The mind in the other head only focuses on one thing and will usurp control of the whole body once it moves into the proximity of a J-cutie! Link to post Share on other sites
hide 0 Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 I hope that I don't come across as wanting free English lesson! Link to post Share on other sites
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