Weegeoff 0 Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 [this one for scouser]I was dreaming of a football match and they went into extra time so I had to stay asleep I bang my head and got double vision I was at the bus stop. Two buses came along and I got on the wrong one A bus driver was late for work.His excuse was His budgie had escaped he went to bed The alarm never went off because the bird had perched on the stop button Anyone know any more. Link to post Share on other sites
seemore 66 Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 I actually used this one many years ago. Met some one at the pub who was into bondage. Woke up in the morning stiil tied to the bed and as no-one else was home it took me 2 hours to work my way loose. Seemore Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 oh you did not - you big liar! Link to post Share on other sites
rach 1 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Were you seemore's boss, Mamabear? Link to post Share on other sites
seemore 66 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 I did I was working in London at Queensway Baths as a lifeguard and we were partying pretty hard at the time and we were always late so we had to come up with different excuses. I also used got pants caught it the escalator at the tube station and they had to shut down the escalator and call in a technician to get me out. I don't know whether they beleived me but they didn't sack me. LOL Seemore Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 you lying toad Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 i couldn't be arsed - and the boss agreed with me. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Seemore you are a very naughty boy! Link to post Share on other sites
seemore 66 Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 A Big Wave Surfer Down South. Who works in the same industry as me (Building Sales Consultant). Has a get out of work clause in his contract if the surf gets over 20foot. May be our Japanese counterparts could get a 6foot powder clause. Seemore. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 you mean 6 meters powder Link to post Share on other sites
seemore 66 Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Thursday Mate if you got 6M it would take you all day to tunnel out. Seemore Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Mine was a few weeks ago... "surf was pumping" Thankfully it's a surf friendly office Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Got mine already planned for Thursday - "sorry but a big **** off typhoon is coming and I ain't leaving the house" Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 had a good one today, someone fell/jumped onto the line in Yokohama and messed the trains up, crawled into work 2 hours late. Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Why would that affect you if you work on the Sotetsu line?î—ƒ Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 I work in 3 schools, 2 of which are on the Sotetsu line and the other one, unfortunately for today , is on the Kehin-Tohoku line Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 OK Worried that tonight might not be able to get home from beers in Fujisawa Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 ok. Enough. Rob, why are your sentences ending with an empty square? Are you failing with the smileys? cos it looks like this:  Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Night in Mattaris? Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Cos am posting from my phone and using the emojicons from that. 'fraid not TB - have money Link to post Share on other sites
Mantas 3 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I remember ringing in sick when i was about 17. The forman, who everyone called 'Mr Hardman" answered the phone and blasted the shit out of me. I told him I had diaroaha and his response was something like. "Bullshit"! "Weak as piss you young blokes"! Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 "I fell off from my tinnie ." " My tinnie doesn't start " "Someone pinched my tinnie " " I ran out of water and can't shower and haven't got fresh cloths to wear" I used to live on an island and I actually fell into the water hopping from one boat to another to get to mine. No mains water, either. Just Rainwater. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I once phoned in sick saying that my mum had changed her washing powder and I have just found out I'm allergic to the new brand as I have a horrible itchy rash all over my body that means I can't wear clothes!! Link to post Share on other sites
seemore 66 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Whole heap of whales beached themselves So spent all night keeping them hydrated. Green humantitarian vote always works. Seemore Link to post Share on other sites
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