muikabochi 208 Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Do (m)any Japanese get pre-nup agreements before they get married? Anyone know? Link to post Share on other sites
fjef 0 Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 no - not common at all - most Japanese would not consider using legal processes for things related to family. If you do go to court, lump sum payments are usually granted but not large - 2 or 3 million yen, case closed. Alimony is not common, child support not really enforced and home ownership usually stays with the income earner - these things are case by case and not automatic like a 50/50 division as is common in many countries... If you are a gaijin married to a Japanese, you have almost no rights at all to anything related to the marriage - including children. Link to post Share on other sites
orion 0 Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Do many non Japanese? (outside of in movies?) Link to post Share on other sites
I'm Sexy 0 Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 What is the pre-nup agreement? Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 it's like a contract that people sign before they get married so that IF they get a divorce, they already know who gets what (house, car, savings, etc). It is to stop some very bitter fighting in the courts over who should get what. Link to post Share on other sites
I'm Sexy 0 Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Sounds like difficult thing to talk about before married! Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Exactly - but its supposedly quite a common thing to do in the US, which says something about either their pessimism or pragmatism. I suppose if I was a millionaire and I was marrying some young peasant girl with enormous boobs and a ravenous sexual apetite I might consider covering my proverbial ass. Link to post Share on other sites
TheOrange 0 Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 It must be a rather difficult subject to bring up and talk about considering all. They do it a lot in the movies. Quote: If you are a gaijin married to a Japanese, you have almost no rights at all to anything related to the marriage - including children. Is it that bad fjef? Does where you actually got married make any difference? Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 "Intolerable Cruelty" with George Clooney and Cathering Zeta Jones is about pre-nuptial agreements. It is an excellent film. Link to post Share on other sites
veronica 2 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 I saw that recently, I enjoyed it a lot. I like Clooney. Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 This is a pretty interesting site. Lots of info on how to protect yourself if you are married to and have children with a Japanese person. Link to post Share on other sites
sava 0 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Wow, I didn't know about the child abduction! How often does that actually happen ? Link to post Share on other sites
fjef 0 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 I don't know the official stats but do know of 3 cases personally - very sad. I don't think where you got married would make any difference if your troubles occurred in Japan... Link to post Share on other sites
sava 0 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 3, wow! That's heaps! What were the circumstances for them (in general?) I'm shocked! Link to post Share on other sites
fjef 0 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Quote: Originally posted by Team snow bee: 3, wow! That's heaps! What were the circumstances for them (in general?) I'm shocked! I'm traveling in Europe at the moment so can't go into details now but the similarities in each case were: Marriage---> kid(s)--->marriage goes bad---Japanese wife disappears without warning with kid(s) In 2 situations, the wife's family were involved and knew where the wife and kid(s) were but would not let (non-Japanese)husband know. In the other case, it seemed that the family also did not know but I don't know now how that story panned out as I lost contect with the husband. These situations happened at different times over the last 18 years that I have been here but each one was a very tragic situation for everyone involved. Sad. Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 That's horrible. I can't describe the grief I've been through, being separated from my children. At least I know where they live, can contact them weekly by skype, and get an extended visit every winter. Link to post Share on other sites
69 5 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I know of a lady who did just that - disappear with kids. No warning, she just went and has not been heard of since. It caused a lot of distress, and still is of course. (Just for the record this was a Japanese-Japanese marriage). Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 That's a real ****ed up way of dealing with problems eh! Turn around and run. I can understand if the situation is dangerous but in most situations that's just plain wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I know of a Japanese marriage where the husband lost his children too. He is still really upset about it but said that having it all drag out through the courts was making him too upset and that it wasn't helping his children either. He doesn't like to talk about it much but I get the impression that he just gave up. Difficult for me to understand why he didn't keep fighting for them but I don't know the whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
sava 0 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 that's really sad Link to post Share on other sites
soubriquet 0 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I think the problem, me jane, is one of "reasonableness". If one partner is trying to be reasonable, and the other one doesn't give a rats arse and is only interested in asserting their rights, then you can destroy your life beating yourself against the rocks. You can go through the courts and get all sorts of agreed orders, but if the custodial parent choses to ignore them, then you can end up going back to court, again and again and again. Sometimes it better, especially for the children, to simply give up. That's what I did. By staying in contact and being patient, they have come back to me. They grow and they learn and they form opinions and make judgements. There's still some karma to come. Link to post Share on other sites
bushpig 0 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Glad it worked out for ya Soub! That's gotta have been a tough choice to make. Link to post Share on other sites
dale#1 1 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Definitely. I read somewhere a while ago that Japan has quite a large number of "missing people" including these that basically run away. (I have absolutely nothing to back that up!) Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Soubriquet, I see where you're coming from. But it seems that you didn't totally give up as you kept in touch and gave your children the option to come back when they were ready. They are lucky kids to have a dad like you. Link to post Share on other sites
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