HelperElfMissy 42 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 I just got home from a family birthday where I discovered that my brother and his wife went to a Foster Care information session, and my mother independently made foster care inquiries while we were away playing in the Niseko snow. Papa and I have been considering Foster Care for a long while - we got all the paperwork 10 years ago, but we haven't gone ahead with it for a number of reasons so far. Some close friends of ours in Sydney just got their first Foster child last week - a 15 yr old boy that they have until he is 18. Has anyone here had anything to do with foster care, adoption or oversea's adoption? I would be interested to hear your experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 I was a foster carer once - well I looked after a few 6 packs once and realised I wasn't up to the task. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 If you are a boy, 14 or 15, I would want a job, cheap government housing (room with share facilities) etc so I can be independent in status quickly. Pity about the public housing situation in Australia. It's like lotto. But plenty of younger kids needs looking after for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 Are you on the schnapps again Jynxx? Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Share Posted January 23, 2010 I have a tragic family story of foster care that always makes me put on the brakes. My brother-in-laws cousin's daughter was brutally murdered by the teen boy they fostered (he was related to them, but it was also an official foster care situation). I've wanted to do an oversea's adoption of a Deaf baby for about 5 years - but it would take about 5 years and cost us about $80,000 - I often wonder about all these kids (especially those with disabilities) languishing unloved in these state run orphanages ... and all the childless couples in Western Countries desperate to adopt ... and why in heck someone can't make that happen! Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 I see a lot of couples where I live with adopted children. They are western couples who have adopted Chinese kids (hence I can tell). And they are not childless. It takes a huge heart to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Share Posted January 23, 2010 Huge heart. Incredible patience. And a very large wallet. Wish it was just a huge heart that was needed. Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 Because of the one child policy in China right? Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 Originally Posted By: RobBright Are you on the schnapps again Jynxx? No. I don't need to. My pet yeast in my tummy is brewing enough for me. Link to post Share on other sites
foreversnow 5 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 I admire anyone who does foster care. I think there is quite a big difference between adopting and foster care though. MB I have also heard some horror stories of foster children that have turned on their foster families. I have a lady who comes into my store and she is a foster mother and I tell you the children she is given the stories of their backgrounds make me cry nearly everytime. Big decision but it is one I couldn't do. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 yeah, got that. Foster caring is very much not like adopting. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 I worked in the social services side of education, working day in day out with the type of kids who are fostered....fostering is a huge ask, some of these kids have very troubled backgrounds are extremely volatile. Its not just a case of getting a kid....you take all the baggage that comes with it. Its often not pretty. I for one couldn't do it. Not because I think that the kids are all little barstewards, far from it, I had very good relatonships with these kids. I don't think I have the level of patience required to make a positive mark in this young person's life. A life that often has had no positives to date. If you choose to go down that route MB, be sure that you are looking at the whole picture and not just the rosy postcard ideal. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 Foster care is definitely not for me. 2 is enough, then I want my peace. I have mixed feelings about this adopt a "insert country name here" baby. Why not reach out to people in need in your own country first? Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted January 24, 2010 Author Share Posted January 24, 2010 Good point Indo. And I have a real issue with the Hollywood A-listers adopting a personal League of Nations. However, here in Australia at least, unwanted pregnancies are no longer dealt with via adoption. Times have changed. The teen's of yesteryear did not have the options of abortion, supporting parents pension or in many cases even contraception. So today the babies available for adoption by desperate childless couples are few and far between - a few years ago a nurse at our local maternity hospital was rattled that they had 3 babies for adoption in the nursery at the same time - apparently that was more than they would get in a year normally. And then in other nations we see babies and children left to their own devices being raised in orphanages with no hope of adoption or love EVER for whatever reason. I would like to see these two groups matched up. It would benefit everyone. It would need to be well regulated and investigated to make sure child trafficking was not involved - but with the desperation of parents with oodles of money and the lack of a formal system currently we already have child trafficking. Link to post Share on other sites
JA2340 16 Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 Mama, Trouble surfaces when the parents in <insert name of third or fourth world country here> realise that they can get a shirtload (relatively) of money for their "orphan" child, and set about creating the means to satisify the demand. And do NOT try to tell me that these people do not exist. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted January 24, 2010 Author Share Posted January 24, 2010 Wouldn't dream of telling you that JA. But I think that is already going on. It is so difficult to match childless parents to parentless child that some rather opportunistic (and desperate themselves) people make the process easier - from the Government official who rubber stamps the adoption, to the parent who carried the child for the express purpose of giving them up for the payday. And they all get fist loads of cash along the way. I reckon if the whole adoption process for truly abandoned and unloved children were made easier and less profiteering were involved then these unsavory elements would decrease. The demand for the 'black market' would not be there. Link to post Share on other sites
JA2340 16 Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 Shhh, don't tell Madonna! Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Don't want to sound negative, but how much of those can be considered human trafficking ? Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Depends, how do you prove it? Link to post Share on other sites
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