grungy-gonads 54 Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Not that you would need to, of course, but in case you have friends who this might apply to: 1. Infidelity is not as common as you might think. A 2006 online survey of 46,000 people revealed that one in five married men and one in ten married women had committed infidelity during their marriage (BBC's UK Lovemap). 2. If there is no way that your partner will find out about a one-off misdemeanour on a business trip, and you want your relationship to survive, honesty is not necessarily the best policy. 3. Crippled with guilt or need advice? Respect your partner and talk to a neutral third party rather than confiding in a friend. Relate offers telephone counselling for £45 an hour on 0300 1001234. Or call the Samaritans on 08457 909090. 4. If the affair is ongoing and there is a chance that someone else will tell your partner, come clean. A one-night stand might just be excusable; lying never is. 5. Nor is compromising your partner's sexual health. If you were dumb enough to have unprotected sex, get tested for STIs. Some STIs can't be picked up for two weeks or more, and HIV has a three-month dormancy period. So even if your initial results are clear, you may need to tell your partner the truth so that he or she can get tested too. 6. When you tell your partner your motive should be a genuine desire to improve or, if necessary, gently terminate your relationship. Don't confess to ease your own guilt, vent anger or get even. 7. Infidelity is often a symptom, not a cause, of trouble in a relationship, and confessing may force you to address the underlying issues. For example, if you were drunk or high when your infidelity happened, drugs and alcohol may be the real problem. 8. Frank Pittman, a psychiatrist and relationship expert, says there are four types of infidelity: accidental infidelity (an unintended act of, usually drunken, carelessness); the romantic affair (you meet somebody wonderful while you are going through a big crisis in your life); the marital arrangement (comfort while you avoid dealing with a marriage that won't die and won't recover); and the philanderer (men who continually need their masculinity affirmed, women who are the daughters or ex-wives of philanderers). 9. Extra-marital affairs remain the biggest cause for divorce, according to the UK management consultants Grant Thornton. 10. Only 3 per cent of 4,100 high-powered, but unfaithful, men divorced their wives and married their lovers (Dr Jan Halper, the author of Quiet Desperation: The Truth About Successful Men). And the divorce rate among those who marry their lovers is 75 per cent. Link to post Share on other sites
tsondaboy 0 Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Are you being unfaithful and thinking of confessing that you have an affair GG? Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 "And the divorce rate among those who marry their lovers is 75 per cent." that French guy, the pres should what out. Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 What out?? Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 yeah what out you philanderer Link to post Share on other sites
rach 1 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Quote: accidental infidelity (an unintended act of, usually drunken, carelessness) the romantic affair (you meet somebody wonderful while you are going through a big crisis in your life) the marital arrangement (comfort while you avoid dealing with a marriage that won't die and won't recover) the philanderer (men who continually need their masculinity affirmed, women who are the daughters or ex-wives of philanderers) A guide to line up the excuses. I have a big sharp knife in my kitchen. None of the above acceptable! Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Originally Posted By: rach Quote: accidental infidelity (an unintended act of, usually drunken, carelessness) the romantic affair (you meet somebody wonderful while you are going through a big crisis in your life) the marital arrangement (comfort while you avoid dealing with a marriage that won't die and won't recover) the philanderer (men who continually need their masculinity affirmed, women who are the daughters or ex-wives of philanderers) A guide to line up the excuses. I have a big sharp knife in my kitchen. None of the above acceptable! I'm with you Rach!!! Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 oooh... glad I'm not married to Rach. Not that any of the stuff is acceptable mind... ahem, just in case I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Go Native 70 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I've never really uderstood how people get into affairs in the first place. I mean sure I've been attracted to a multitude of women other than my wife over the years (together 10 years), but would it ever be worth risking a lifetime relationship just for sex? I think not...sure sex is great but it's nothing compared to a lifelong loving, trusting relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 GN, don't worry, your wife isn't watching!! Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 He's set up his alibi Link to post Share on other sites
Mantas 3 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Jeez, one woman is enough, why would want bloody two of of them. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Originally Posted By: Mantas Jeez, one woman is enough, why would want bloody two of of them. LOL Papabears favourite joke: "What is the punishment for bigmany?" HAVING TWO WIVES! The amount of parents at schools who end up in affairs with other parents....it is wierd. I just have no clue what thought process people have when they do things like that.... Do they really think they can get away with it - do they think the kids wont be freaked out and teased like mad when it comes out? Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 double dipping: Link to post Share on other sites
frannyo 2 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 bigmany??? big many? or bigammy? Link to post Share on other sites
Tubby Beaver 209 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 what I'd like to know is, why would anyone WANT to confess to an affair? Link to post Share on other sites
frannyo 2 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Get it off their chest. Or something. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 quite simply because they are not secret agent material. Nor SAS who are trained to get in and out without anyone knowing. Link to post Share on other sites
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