HoTRoD 2 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Last week there were some news articles around regarding parents with more than one child and them having (or not as the case may be) a favorite - whether they show it and what the effect it may have on children. Very interesting. How about parents of more than one here - do you have a favorite child or are they all loved equally? I would like to think that I would be the latter, but interested to hear from people in that circumstance. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 We are very concious of being fair with our 4, simple facts are that you LIKE some more than others at various times! The one that is being a little "S-H-1-T" at the time is clearly not in good favour where the 'little suck up' is in the good books. But it is very important to LOVE them all equally. Papabears mother was always very open about the fact that she loved him way more than her daughters - the girls were raised knowing it - EVERYONE knew it. I don't think that was fair to them. My parents were fair and loved us all equally. It was good - we knew that we were valued equally despite falling in and out of favour. These days my Mum, Dad and I are best friends. My Dad is really close to my brother as well. The youngest brother is well loved but the relationship is more distant. But even now we know that our parents LOVE us equally while they might have different feelings about how much they enjoy spending time with us. Link to post Share on other sites
oo 1 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I was a favourite. All knew, but they were not as sensitive type as me. Thats probably why I was favourite. Link to post Share on other sites
gerard 6 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Originally Posted By: Mamabear We are very concious of being fair with our 4, simple facts are that you LIKE some more than others at various times! The one that is being a little "S-H-1-T" at the time is clearly not in good favour where the 'little suck up' is in the good books. But it is very important to LOVE them all equally. Papabears mother was always very open about the fact that she loved him way more than her daughters - the girls were raised knowing it - EVERYONE knew it. I don't think that was fair to them. My parents were fair and loved us all equally. It was good - we knew that we were valued equally despite falling in and out of favour. These days my Mum, Dad and I are best friends. My Dad is really close to my brother as well. The youngest brother is well loved but the relationship is more distant. But even now we know that our parents LOVE us equally while they might have different feelings about how much they enjoy spending time with us. That sounds like the perfect politically correct answer, MamaB, but isn't there a little something extra for the first born? Link to post Share on other sites
me jane 0 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I imagine that it would (and perhaps should) be hard for some people to admit it even to themselves. My Dad always told me that he loved me more because I was the firstborn but that I should never tell my sisters. I respected him less because of it, feeling that either he was lying and secretly saying similar things to each of us or that he was telling the truth but should not feel like that, much less admit it. I think my mum loves us all equally, but I know, as Mamabear says, that she likes different ones of us at different times depending on how we are behaving! Link to post Share on other sites
bobby12 0 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I would say I have a little extra feeling for the firstborn, I would never say it to them or anyone who would let them know though. Actually he is worse behaved and so on, but the bond for me is stronger. It may also be because hes a boy and the other is a girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Mantas 3 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 The frist born always gets loads more attention as a baby than the next ones down the line. The first one is very special, ie. we have twice as many photos and videos of our first born than we do the second. I think that has more to do with the fact that we had more time back then and we also thought we were the only ones on the planet to ever have a baby. "Do you want to see the video of my baby laying on the floor dribbling?. It's so cute..." Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 True Mantas! My first and second are only 19 months apart - so they are in some ways a 'package'. First Born has ADD, asthma, was a grumpy unhappy baby who never slept through the night, threw temper tantrums in the store and is an hornery teenager....I love him to death, but his is pain up derriere often! Second born slept through the night at 7 weeks old. Rarely chucked tantrums. Did not speak until his was three (signed instead). Has always been calm and communicative - we joke that depsite being a 'ladies man' he is the daughter I never had. Right now we get on the best. But he is as much my son as the others - I love him, but I love him the same as the others. I do like him a lot though! Third and fourth born sons are still kids - they are still a lot of work. Love them heaps, enjoy thier company more on some days, less on others. When I was pregnant with 2nd born I actually burst into tears and said to Papabear - how will I be able to love this new baby as much as our son (the first)...I could not understand how it would be possible - and would I have to take that child-love and halve it? But it was all too easy - baby born - one look - fall in love. You just have to be able to separate your frustration/anger/disappointment with that child as a person (as they grow up) from your love for them as a parent. Some people don't get that liking someone and loving a child (warts and all) are different things - they are. Kids should never have to earn your love...your respect maybe - but never your love. Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 true, true, true, my wife has openly admitted that she can never give anymore love and attention to another child. She has already apologized for this if the occasion arises. Link to post Share on other sites
minus 1 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Don't have kids myself but my mate has 3 and his favoritism towards the oldest is a bit scary lookin in from the outside. Link to post Share on other sites
keba 0 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Of course we have a favourite, but if we play our cards right, neither of them will ever know who it is... Link to post Share on other sites
Mantas 3 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I'm certain that I was thr favorite. Link to post Share on other sites
keba 0 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 As I was, and I know my parents were to polite too say so... Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 It's like asking me if I have a favourite flavour of crisp...... Link to post Share on other sites
thursday 1 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 but you can't get prawn coctail flavoured kids Link to post Share on other sites
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