Divorce

[o'brian 0]

Hi folks. Haven't been on here for a while for a number of reasons. It has been a bit of a stressful year. Turns out that we (my wife and I) are getting a divorce, just wasn't working and we were both getting stressed out it has been on the cards for the last year or so.

 

We don't have children, but things have just got rather more complex with the news that she is pregnant - with our child (long story we had a few make-ups along the way).

 

Things alays seem to find a way of being complicated.

 

 

Anyone else been through a divorce?

[me jane 0]

Been through my parents divorce but none of my own.

Not an easy situation you've got there. Good luck with it all & let us know how it goes.

[TJ OZ 0]

Mine was painful during the breakdown of the relationship for 18 months. Asset settlement went fine. No kids involved. Seeing friends going through the same thing with kids is a bit more complicated. My advice is to try and stay friends and be amicable about the break-up. Not easy as obviously there is some angst within the relationship. One friend has a cow of a wife who is also an alcholic. He basically has to count down the years until he has nothing to do with her. The kids are with him and the youngest is 6. 12 more years and counting. Sorry to hear about your plight. Remember, things always work out in the end. Mine has and I am now happier than I have been in years. It was not my choice to break up but I have certainly benefited from it. I know councellors are usually trained to help with mediation after the break-up.

Good luck and chin up.

[grungy-gonads 54]

That news makes things rather complicated. I have never been through anything like this but can imagine it being extremely stressful.

 

She is going to have the baby right? Have to talked the situation over.

 

For what it's worth, good luck.

[soubriquet 0]

It's a bad-shit situation. Take off your pants, grease your bum. However nice you want to be, you're going to be shafted.

[2pints-mate 0]

soubriquet, I know you had a bad experience, but there are times when it is not a nightmare or when it is the other way round.

[me jane 0]

I agree 2pints. My parents divorced for reasons mostly stemming from my Dad, but they still managed to sort out us children (16, 14 and 7 yrs old) as amicably as possible under the circumstances. Neither parent felt they were being denied access and they both agreed not to bad mouth one another to us and also not to let us take advantage and play one parent off against the other. They got divorced 16 years ago although its uncomfortable they still talk from time to time if they have to discuss something about one of us. The three of us feel that we have always had, and still have the support of both parents. We have never felt that we were going against one parent by doing something for the other.

 

It might not be easy o'brian but if you are keeping the baby there may well be ways to work it out. Not everyone is as unlucky as Soubriquet.

 

Chin up lad

[soubriquet 0]

Sorry to be so negative. Good luck and I hope things go smoothly. It might be OK as long as there aren't any control issues.

[o'brian 0]

Yes she is wanting to keep the child.

 

The next few months is going to be very taxing.

 

Thanks for the comments.

[SirJibAlot 0]

is she Japanese?

[indosnm 0]

If she is Japanese and you don't want the baby or don't want anything to do with it, as shocking as it may shound, you are in the right country as far as child support etc goes as you will be liable for nada.

[SirJibAlot 0]

on the other hand, she can kidnap the kid and keep you from having any visitation right and can even take you off the kid's family register so that there is no proof that you had anything to do with the kid. Scary isn't it....

[indosnm 0]

Jibs, It's bloody terrible.

I wasn't saying that it was a good thing to do though..

I've seen that happen with my niece, where the father basically gets off scott free. At least she can sue his ass in the future.

[SirJibAlot 0]

yea, it is terrible. I'm not too worried, my wife is pretty kewl. But I have read some horror stories about Divorce in Japan and the story never ends very good for the gaijin.

[Yuki's Passion 1]

I heard a rumor about that happening in Kobe just the other week with a gaijin doing that to his wife....

[soubriquet 0]

"WORKPLACE psychopaths are common in major businesses and are ruining the lives of their colleagues, an expert has warned.

 

And they are often rewarded for their ruthless behaviour because they appear smart and creative but are really manipulative bullies who steal ideas, according to Sydney-based psychotherapist and author John Clarke.

 

Dr Clarke, who has penned two books about workplace psychopaths and will speak at the state government-sponsored Queensland Safety Show in Brisbane next week, today said up to three per cent of the Australian population was psychopathic.

 

"I would say that in every major company there would be at least one," Dr Clarke said.

 

"Psychopaths are very comfortable in successful corporations because they are actually rewarded for their behaviour.

 

"In business you are encouraged to make money for the company and if you appear to be doing whatever it takes to make money, you are often promoted.

 

"They are seen as rising employees who are full of energy and creativity."

 

But behind the facade, such workers were "ego-centric, grandiose, pathological liars with a lack of conscience, remorse and guilt", Dr Clarke said.

 

"I think the workplace psychopath is actually more dangerous than the violent criminal psychopath, because the workplace psycho is smart, charismatic, charming and much less likely to get caught," he said.

 

Dr Clarke said victims were miserable, suffered depression, anxiety and panic attacks and feared going to work.

 

"Psychopaths isolate their victims through cutting them out of the lines of communication and then destroy them," he said.

 

"I know of several situations where employees have committed suicide because these people felt there was no other alternative.

 

"You are at work, you think about it, then you go home and think about it and question if it's something to do with you.

 

"You think about all the different scenarios until work is all you think about and at this stage it's destroying your life."

 

Dr Clarke said employees could protect themselves through education, communication or ultimately leaving their workplace.

 

"If you know what they do, you are less likely to be sucked in and communication in the workplace makes you feel less isolated," he said.

 

"But you need to evaluate your situation and, if you can't change it, you need to evaluate the costs for your mental health versus finding a new position elsewhere."

[soubriquet 0]

Substitute "work" with "home".

[Snow-Woman 0]

"ego-centric, grandiose, pathological liars with a lack of conscience, remorse and guilt"

 

I know someone just like that. He is "successful" as well. Though I wonder what goes on in his head and whether one day he will feel remorse or guilt.