hellyer

Try this in your living room instead Tubby , It works for me

messy

powder :thumbsup:

Love this, particularly the Pro-nun- see- asions And all true……………..apart from the last 4 of course Eight Words 1 . THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female....... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male..... Playing cricket without a box. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

A little late but could be the real reason the YES vote did not get up Former United Kingdom If, in the forthcoming referendum, Scotland elects to be independent, the remainder of the United Kingdom will then be known as the "Former United Kingdom" ... or FUK. In a bid to discourage the Scots from voting 'yes' in the referendum, the Government have begun their campaign with the slogan "Vote NO, for FUK's sake." They feel the Scottish voters will be able to relate to this.

Skinny little white Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him... He looks down at the Irishman and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 6 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown" The little white Irishman faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him...... The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "Well, I saw your curious loo

cold spoon

Norikura?

BAD Parrot A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbe

Did you know? The definition of bottomless? bot·tom·less (btm-ls) adj. 1. Having no bottom. 2. Too deep to be measured: a bottomless glacier lake. 3. Difficult or impossible to understand; unfathomable: one of the bottomless mysteries of life. 4. Having no limitations or bounds; limitless: a bottomless supply of money. 5. a. Nude, especially unclothed below the waist: bottomless dancers. b. Featuring such dancers as entertainment: bottomless bars. 6 Mt Granview

botulism

Yes Bags, but did you know this- Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = And "lollipop" is the longest word typed with your right hand. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = No word in the English language rhymes withmonth, orange, silver, or purple. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "Dreamt" is the only English

Gynecologist's Assistant A retired TWA pilot, trying to find something interesting to occupy his time, went into the Job Center in downtown Denver, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynec

Senior trying to set a password: WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER:50BloodyB

When I was young I decided to go to Medical School. At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered spine are doctors today while the rest of us are sending jokes via email.

swana and uliism

This is how I stay sharp (for an old bloke) in the 'Off" season. August 2014

Did you know That 75 Snow Japan members were born on January 1st yet only 5 on the day before and 10 on the day after....................................there was some heavy pushing going down on New Years Eve.

You are seriously addicted MB Respect. . :thumbsup:

I had decided to read motivational books but I just can't seem to get started.

nap

Seven Degrees Of Blond FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.' SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second bl

Orifice - love that word it has a ring to it and flyscreens

or maybe they just fly in one orifice and out the other.

"I just want to be different"...................................................like every one else. I imagine he would need to install fly screens over those tunnels to keep the bugs out