hellyer

Frank -in-stein

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. Some doctor on television this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fr

Some serious addiction there. I don't imagine anyone on this forum could get that bad thankfully seeing as we love the outdoors so much.

he he he

Nonsense

Here's another Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

Talking of nationality:- Instruction for reading: Read in an Italian accent I am a Italiano. One day ima gonna LA to bigga hotel. In a morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pisses toast. She brings me only one p!ss. I tella her I want two p!ss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two p!ss onna my plate. She say you better no p!ss onna plate, you sonna ma b!tch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma b!tch! Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress bring me a spoon

Friday Funnie The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I f

Originally Posted By: stemik i think thats my japanese girlfriends favorite day.......Election day Could be a tad frustrating for the girlfriend if in Australia. Only happens once every 3 to 4 years.

A good list. Honestly how thick do you have to be to be a sports commentator?. Must be a pre-requisite when applying for the job.

The 8 inch won't fit me. Maybe I could use it twice

Nice one's TB. Here's another, short but sweet:- Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

I have an inkling, no, I seriously suspect, that there is no substance to this thread.

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

I'm against that

I resemble that remark -We males all pay attention. But only to one thing at a time.

Nice mix & pix Rob

"My current husband has a different way of thinking," she wrote. "He would surely say 'Oh, that's great'." Well I am glad he did not say "That's great but I've been to Uranus"

Good point Cathedralhead That's some handle by the way

Originally Posted By: snowdude Which is? Just a useless post to get my 245 post

I find that even working for yourself you are not really working for no one. You are working to pay the bank, the staff wages & super, the car repayments, the taxman, your next holiday & the toys to go with it etc. As far as writing off a bad day - I work in a commission based environment & can work for a month on a deal & end up getting nothing out of it - that's a headache. Fortunately the pay days that do happen can be substantial & carry me through some bad times. In theory, working for yourself you could have endless play time. Reality is you need the moolah to

Originally Posted By: RobBright You do realise that it is an urban legend right? What, 8 inches?

Another oldie similar to yours Tubs:- Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

A little story for those that can remember their first time at the Gym A Week at the Gym Dear Diary: For my fiftieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my school football team 30 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear. My wife seeme

Insightful Kokodo Where do we go from here?