Renting

[spook 0]

My housemate's girlfriend is currently looking for a room to rent in a share house. She replied to an ad and they sent her through an email questionaire to fill out before they'd let let get to the 'interview' stage.

Is this the weirdest thing you've ever seen or what? What happened to getting people to come round and just sussing them out face to face?

 

42 SMITH STREET TURNER

 

Details: It is an old two story house that has been an ‘Art School’ share house for the past ten years. It has timber and cork floors with carpeted bedrooms. There is a fireplace but no built-in heating. Laundry has a washing machine, there is one toilet, and one bathroom with bath and shower. There is a big back yard, compost heap, hills hoist, BBQ. There is also a big garage that is being turned into a studio but can also be used for storage space.

 

The two rooms available have no included bed, heater or desk so you will need to supply that. One room faces east onto the street, is white and has no wardrobe. The other room faces west onto the garden, is a light peach colour and has a built in wardrobe.

 

(Just so you know the two housemates who will be moving are currently still in the rooms)

 

(Jane lives in the house where the two rooms are, Dave was in one of the rooms but is moving out the back into the granny flat)

 

PLEASE FILL OUT THESE QUESTIONS, THEN WE WILL CONACT YOU ABOUT AN INTERVIEW AND HAVING A LOOK AT THE HOUSE AND ROOMS

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1. Your full name:

 

2. How would you describe yourself as a person? (E.g. are you generally happy, tolerant, easygoing, open minded, like a laugh, caring?)

 

3. Your nationality/cultural heritage:

 

4. What is your age and gender:

 

5. Are you reasonably tidy?

 

6. What do you do as your job? What are you interested in doing with your life?

 

7. Do you have any medical/mental/ physical difficulties that we should know about so we can support you?

 

8. Do you smoke?

 

9. Do you mind animals? (I have a pet ferret that lives outside in a cage but sometimes he runs around downstairs in the living area)

 

10. What are your hobbies/interests?

 

11. How much TV do you watch?

 

12. What music do you like?

 

13. Would you like to share in paying to get the Internet connected?

 

14. Do you like to drink/party? How much?

 

15. Do you have a stable job/will be able to pay rent on time etc?

 

16. Do you like to cook?

 

17. Are you Religious/Spiritual/Atheist/Agnostic?

[bobby12 0]

I think they will find that actually its hard to find someone at all, and tenants tend to be picky, so they may well drop this idea unless it is some kind of paradise home going really cheap.

 

...and these guys sound Well Anal.

[YellowSnow 0]

My job interviews (one at a police headquarters in Japan) have been less intrusive than that.

 

Since I was 17 I have shared flats this is the first year I have lived alone. And to be honest it is well worth the extra money.

 

Up until last year I would say that I wouldn't share with girls again, but it has changed to both sexes. Some really weird guy moved into my last flat and I just walked out after 3 weeks.

[bobby12 0]

I think as you get older you get less tolerant of sharing personal space.

 

At uni, I remember it was the smart ones who hated sharing a house and the morons who loved it.

[YellowSnow 0]

I have too many stories from Uni. Knew a guy who was stabbed to death because some guy flipped over somebody eating his slice of bread.

 

My flat mates had been arrested, had to be put under my charge.. One was a bastard and I wish I had sent him to jail myself.

 

People having sex in the ally under my window every Friday night.

 

...

[spook 0]

Jesus! What sort of dodgy part of the world did you live in yellowsnow?

I like sharing with good housemates, but unfortunately they are few and far between.

So what happened to the guy who stabbed someone over a piece of bread? How long did he go down for?

[YellowSnow 0]

I don't like to give to much away. But I went to college in a very rough part of Scotland... Near Glenshee shitty ski slope but better than Hodaigi.

 

Don't know how long he went down for. It wasn't a flat so much as it was Halls of Residence. It looked like a borstal. The were a few fires(one of which I put out) wild parties etc. Because I was sharing with the roughest crowd of Irish guys we never had problems with other people ... though one of my flatmates did punch me in the face.

 

When I moved out of there and lived with a right bitch there was a pub under my flat. Loads of bar fights with a few people getting stabbed. When you see blood come out of a human like that nothing really shocks you anymore.

[spook 0]

a pint and a fight... a good scottish night eh?

maybe i'm too sweet and innocent but i can't imagine trying to get any study done in an environment like that. i think i'd rather live with the ferret loving freaks i mentioned in my first post

[YellowSnow 0]

I would take a punch to the face rather than live with a clean freak/bitch again. At least I knew where I stood with the Irish guys and they had your back if something went wrong.

 

Straying off topic, but I have never had a Japanese friend that I felt full sure he would have my back. Vietnamese, Chinese friends/flatmates even if we had fallen out, would still jump in a fight or something.

[YellowSnow 0]

1. Your full name:

Vomit covered, Yellow Snow.

 

2. How would you describe yourself as a person?

I am more of a Dinosaur than a person. With small forearms and large legs.

 

3. Your nationality/cultural heritage:

I am a nihilist I reject heritage.

Yellow Snows got a new job,

Working on the docks

Making lots of money

Sucking lots of snow.

 

7. Do you have any medical/mental/ physical difficulties that we should know about so we can support you?

Timmy!

 

 

8. Do you smoke?

Tobacco?

 

 

9. Do you mind animals? (I have a pet ferret that lives outside in a cage but sometimes he runs around downstairs in the living area)

Let me guess a "Purple headed womb ferret".

(Quote from Extras TV show)

 

 

10. What are your hobbies/interests?

Same as yours on number 9.

 

 

11. How much TV do you watch?

Enough to know what "Extras" is.

 

 

12. What music do you like?

I only watch "Music" as it has scantily dresses "ladys" on it. Oh and Pimp my ride.

 

 

13. Would you like to share in paying to get the Internet connected?

No I can get it for free.

Will you pay me for fixing your computer every time you download spyware etc.

 

 

14. Do you like to drink/party? How much?

Enough to not be able to get it up

 

 

15. Do you have a stable job/will be able to pay rent on time etc?

One thing I am honestly good at, until you piss me of enough to leave over night.

 

 

16. Do you like to cook?

Another thing I am good at and make killer BBQs even with Japanese Sama. (Kind of fish)

 

 

17. Are you Religious/Spiritual/Atheist/Agnostic?

Nihilist

 

There are my pretty honest answers except for the gender neutral joke. I likes Jokes.

[spook 0]

16. Do you like to cook?

Yes. Ferrets.