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Cheese man, how did you spend the winnings? Mariann Simms is an odd pen name.

 

What am I talking about? The 22nd annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest , aimed at finding the worst possible opening for an imaginary novel.

 

The following won $250:

 

 Quote:
"They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavour entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ... Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by colouring it differently."
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