The devil's dictionary

[soubriquet 0]

Nice time-waster here:

 

http://bierce.thefreelibrary.com/The-Devils-Dictionary

 

ADAMANT, n. A mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.

 

BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker. The hyena.

 

"One night," a doctor said, "last fall,

I and my comrades, four in all,

When visiting a graveyard stood

Within the shadow of a wall."

 

"While waiting for the moon to sink

We saw a wild hyena slink

About a new-made grave, and then

Begin to excavate its brink!"

 

"Shocked by the horrid act, we made

A sally from our ambuscade,

And, falling on the unholy beast,

Dispatched him with a pick and spade."

 

Bettel K. Jhones

[IIIII 2]

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and

conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be

detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the

straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself.

Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and

the hope of Hell.

 

Nice.