hellyer

domination

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?' 'Ok' the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. 'Oh, shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops' WHACK!! He fle

apple

Pow, vodka, go-go dancers, MI-8 helicopters, go-go dancers… Who the hell are these guys? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure I want to hang out with them Maximise your screen and turn up the volume!! http://vimeo.com/88547754 Video credit to Powder Magazine.

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

I have not tried them but good for short, fat kids I imagine

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it, or he would probably never have any peace of mind. The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened. Yossel tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally

very surprised this deep thinker was not on the list

Only 14 for me this time in Japan but have another 10 days to look forward to in En Zed

Foxy Moron Foxy Moro

go on then

Geordie Health Food

Butty

queen Lizzy

Well you brought up the Phlegm ..............so to speak, on the other thread and it got me pondering

skinny Ma

Who was the bright spark that decided to write 'flem' as Phlegm. Having pondered on my question straight after I wrote it, I wonder if it might have been the famous Ian Phlegming?

spitoon

Aye - re-set to english english not american english.

americanisms color

BLONDE LOGIC Two Essex blondes were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Colchester or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Colchester ?????" CAR TROUBLE An Essex blonde pushes her BMW into a petrol station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops an Essex blonde fo

Ever had a day like this ?

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun..."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says. This catches

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?' The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man said?' One little boy raised his ha