Plucky 0 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 An unformated cut-n-paste from an email I received. If you're bored, a few chuckles in there. TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH 1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay 2. You get to eat disgusting food like snails and frog's legs 3. If there's a war you can surrender really early 4. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4. 5. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries 6. You can be fat & ugly and still become a famous film star 7. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride 8. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street 9. People think you're a great lover even though you're not 10. Striped shirts and berets are always in fashion TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN 1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it 3. You can call Budweiser beer and get away with it 4. You can be a crook and still hold elected office 5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything 6. If you can breathe you can get a gun 7. You can invent a new public holiday every year 8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care 9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy" 10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth TOP 11 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH 1. Two World Wars and One World Cup, doo-dah doo-dah 2. Warm beer 3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket 4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events 5. Union jack underpants 6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer 7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power 8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not 9. Ditto changing underwear 10. Beats being Welsh 11. Or Scottish TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN 1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes 2. Unembarrassed to wear fur 3. No need to worry about tax returns 4. Glorious military history ... well, till about 400 AD 5. Can wear sunglasses inside 6. Political stability 7. Flexible working hours 8. Live near the Pope 9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair 10. Country run by Sicilian murderers TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH 1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes 2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees 3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc. 4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans 5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing 6. Honesty 7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls 8. You get to eat bulls' testicles 9. Gibraltar 10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN 1. Chicken Madras 2. Lamb Passanda 3. Onion Bhaji 4. Bombay Potato 5. Chicken Tikka Masala 6. Rogan Josh 7. Popadoms 8. Chicken Dopiaza 9. Meat Boona 10. Kingfisher lager TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH 1. Ten! You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?!?!?!? TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH 1. Guinness 2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives 3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road 4. Pubs never close 5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on 6. No one can ever remember the night before 7. Kill people you don't agree with 8. Stew 9. More Guinness 10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence. TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN 1. It beats being an American 2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors 4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 5. Where else can you travel 1,000 miles over fresh water in a canoe? 6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise 7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins 9. "Own-an-Eskimo" scheme 10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN 1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilized nation on earth wanted 2. Fosters Lager 3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you 4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket, even though you don't understand the rules either 5. Tact and sensitivity 6. Bondai Beach 7. Other beaches 8. Liberated attitude towards homosexuals 9. Drinking cold lager on the beach 10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach Link to post Share on other sites
BulbFish 0 Posted August 16, 2004 Share Posted August 16, 2004 You're really into the nationality thing aren't you Plucky? (Sure seem to be anyway). Lots of cliches in there don't you think. The German one is quite funny though. Link to post Share on other sites
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