hellyer
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Posts posted by hellyer
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Meanwhile, the rest of the world is trying to get a word in edgewise between these jocks catching up ...
Just paid accom at Alp Hotel at Akakura Onsen. January 21 for 8 nights! Cannot wait!
Phew!! - that was close.
I arrive at Hotel Alp Jan 30th for ten nights after 5 nights at Madarao.
Missed you by that much JA
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Yes SL Heli was good - we had an awesome pilot by the name of Hanibul - a legend in NZ rescue circles as everyone tells me.
Was butt clenching hairy at first flying betwee mountains with Nil visability for 2 minutes (seemed like hours) before coming out over Mt Nicholas about 40k south of Queenstown..
Another butt clench landing on a narrow ridge and then heaven on a stick. (or sticks in my case)
A few pics below (SJ in the Kermit pants)
Lunch half way down the Mt with some other groups
I look forward to seeing your pics later on
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Greetings Snow Lovers!
I've been AWOL - sowwwwwy!
But I've been getting a fair amount of shredding in.
Niseko in Dec/Jan and March, NZ in July (including a heliski adventure-woo!), Hotham 3 weeks ago and just on my way back to Thredbo!
Little bit broken...broke my arm on the last day at Hotham, so riding in a cast this weekend - that'll be interesting!
Hope everyone is well and happy
Who did you go with on the Heli-ski MB.
I went with Southern Lakes last year and had planned to go with Harris Mountains out of Wanaka a few weeks back -There were too many down days early this month so missed out .A day after I got back I heard that Harris Mountains had a heliski crash with one fatality and several injured
Oh, and a big welcome back BTW
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We may need to go right back to the feudal war-lords.
or better still
ask Shintaro
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I can't but someone wiser than me may have the answer
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In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.
He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all began. And that's the truth!
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Chris get your own back on those smelly co-workers by dropping a silent but deadly fart and immediately yelling 'does anyone smell smoke' so they take a good whif in
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Kumanoyu Shiga Kogen?
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Woop!, Woop!
3 sleeps till I am back in the land of the long white cloud and ace fush and chups.
Looks like I will be landing in Queenstown in the middle of the best storm to hit NZ so far this year.
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Two well dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in Brisbane Airport Terminal.
The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Queensland.
After a little while Victorian woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from Mount Isa commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."
Again, the lady from Mount Isa commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman went on, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
Yet again, the Mount Isa lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked , "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
“My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Mount Isa lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my Lord! What could they teach you??"
The Mount Isa lady responded, "Well as an example... instead of saying, "Who gives a Fcuck?", I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?".
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soldiers
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bell ends
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legends
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I found this run in Noz particularly difficult to ski.
Next time I am going to ride it in Winter.
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Boom Tish material
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu'
Dyslexic man walks into a bra''
I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.''
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions''.
I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.
I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said ''may contain nuts.'' Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for! You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!''
I said to this train driver ''I want to go to Paris". He said ''Eurostar?'' I said, ''I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin''.
I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.
I tried water polo but my horse drowned
A seal walks into a club..
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Looks like Tangram Ski Circus?
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This is too beautiful not to share:-
Where Would You Be?
WHERE WOULD YOU BE:
IF - YOU HAD ALL THE MONEYYOUR HEART DESIRES.
IF -YOU HAD NO WORRIES.
IF -YOU CAME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL WAS AWAITING YOU.
IF - YOUR BATH WATER HAD BEEN RUN.
IF -YOU HAD THE PERFECT KIDS & PETS.
IF - YOUR PARTNER WAS AWAITING YOU,WITH OPEN ARMSAND KISSES?
SO,WHERE WOULD YOU BE?
Well....... HELLOOooo !!!!!!!
You'd be at the
WRONG F***IN' HOUSE!
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Skippy the bush kangaroo has come forward today after years of silence......
She say's not only did Rolf Harris tie her down but the dirty bastard went on to sing about it !
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Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.
He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down.
So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.
He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen.
But he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Fr.Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy
"Oh my Lord," says Fr. Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It's a mir….
Wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc."
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared. There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
"It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out.
Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
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I think I might walk.
nutters!
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we are just off the bottom of that list...........
At 74 - but in a building phase
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Chris if you buy him a subscription to this it should cheer him up
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WorldCuprefund
After Nigeria was eliminated from the world cup the Nigerian captain personally offered
to refund all the expenses of fans that travelled to Brazil.
He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.
Morning Greetings!
in General off-topic discussions
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and mooloolaba