hellyer
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Posts posted by hellyer
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Yep, life is great in the sunshine state Pete as you well know.
Though starting to feel the winter stoke vibes through the forum
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Well both I guess,if you have the time.
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Never really been in to Halloween.
What's it all about anyway.
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:thumbsup:
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Well,
Don't know about you Snowjunky but I have never seen the Roar play a worse game of poofterball than tonight's debacle in the 10 year history of the A League.
Words like "pathetic" and "useless" don't even come close to describing the range and magnitude of their shortcomings.
We'd need cloud storage to go into all the details so I won't.
Played 3, Lost 3 - your job should be on the line Mr. Mulvey !!!
Yes a dismal effort but Mulvey's job is safe - he really is a very good coach and man manager but apparently hopeless at recruiting new talent
For example - Mensur (if you don't kick it directly to me, I'm not playing) Kurtishi
Adam (I was crap when I played for the Roar previously and now I am back, still crap AND injured) Sarota
Jamie ( Oh shit coach, you did not tell me that if I stand 10m out from the goal line someone might lob one into the net) Young
The keeper was the worst as his obvious nervousness and indecisive play infected the whole back line.
But then i read in the program from the game that he is half Sri Lankan and half Scottish so maybe that is why he was so muddled.
Then again the Sri Lankans aren't too bad.
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yeah I like country girls but then I like mountain girls also
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Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant !!
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )
Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of p...!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
Your loving daughter,
Susan
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A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.
Paddy ordered a whisky.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"
---------
(o o)
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off.
I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts
"I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!"
Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home"
So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
"I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy.
------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- ---------
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says
"You know what I want, don't you?"
"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole bed by the looks of it!"
--------oOo---------
Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison service for notservicing the electric chair..
He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
--------- -------- oOo --------- ---------
Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on
Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said "I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!"
--------- --------oOo- --------- ---------
Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.
"Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!"
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London !"
==
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(o o)
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It appeared that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all
been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat
...and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,
"Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather
were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were
born in August, ya idiot.
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THE BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH ?
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says:
'I went by your grandma's house today and
I saw her in the hallway buck-naked.
Man, she is one fine looking woman!'
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word.
His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says:
'I got it on with your grandma and she is good,
the best I ever had!'
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad
but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,
'I'll tell you something else, boy,
your grandma liked it!'
At this point the biker stands up,
takes the drunk by the shoulders
looks him square in the eyes and says....................
'Grandpa,.......... go home!'
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Where are you off to this season Pete?
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I FEEL SAFE AT HOME AT LAST!
I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighbourhood
Watch.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each
corner and the black flag of ISIS in the centre.
The local police, ASIO and other intelligence services are all watching
my house 24/7.
I've never felt safer.
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Lift ticket prices increase - damn.
The nerve of them.
My old farts day pass will probably go right up to Y3000.
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Great pics TB and great resalution for Iphone .
:thumbsup:I have to bring my wife over in Autumn - simply stunning.
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Hey, this little Brazilian ain't all bad.....
Aside from causing intense pain, the venom of the spider can also cause priapism in humans. Erections resulting from the bite are uncomfortable, can last for many hours and can lead to impotence. A component of the venom (Tx2-6) is being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments
Hey Big Al,
An, umm, friend of mine would like to now where I he might get someTX2-6?
If you let me know I could pass it on.
really.
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Zero from 2 - definitely not the start we wanted.
Midfield (esp. Broich and Brattan) was outmuscled yesterday.
Hoping for better things against Sydney on Friday !!!!
Yes dissapointing Big Al. - realy missed McKay in midfield. Lustica was largely innafective. You may disagree but I would have rather had Miller there for that match - would have lifted against his old club.
Kurtushi a flop again, easy tap-in aside, he looks soft in in tackles.
Come on Friday and redemption!
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I have been down that a few times in the comp (in my own mind)
Unfortunately it's a three stopper for these old legs!
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aye - millions of them
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Hero Indian Super League
Watching telly over brekky this morning I came across a match in the 'Hero Indian Super League' (football not cricket) - Quite entertaining with some names that many of you will recognise . :- Here is the list of gaijin players in each squad.
Apoula Edel, Basillo Agudo; Jose Miguel, Sylvain Monsoreau, Jakub Podany, Jofre Gonzalez, Borja Fernandez, Luis Garcia (marquee signing); Arnal Llibert, Fikru Teferra Lemessa.
Gennaro Bracigliano; Mikaël Silvestre, Marco Materazzi (marquee signing), Bernard Mendy, Jairo Carvajal; Elano, Bruno Pelissari, Bojan Djordjic, Cristian Gonzalez; Eduardo Silva.
Marek Cech, Kristof van Hout; Wim Raymaekers; Henrique Dinis, Pavel Elias, Gustavo Marmentini, Hans Mulder, Bruno Herrero; Morten Skoubo, Mads Junker, Alessandro Del Piero(marquee player).
David James (marquee player); James Reynolds, Raphael Romey, Colin Favey, Cedric Hengbart, Erwin Spitzner; Penn Orji, Victor Forcada; Iain Hume, Michael Chopra, Andrew Barisic, Pedro Gusmão.
Jan Seda; Andre Santos, Gregory Arnolin, Youness Bengelloun; Robert Pires (marquee player), Bruno Pinheiro, Edgar Marcelino; Miroslav Slepicka, Migue Pereira, Tolgay Ozbey.
Emanuelle Belardi; Daniele Magliocchetti, Bruno Cirillo, Andres Gonzalez, Park Kwang-Il; Davide Colomba, Kostas Katsouranis, Omar Rodriguez, Saidou Mady; Ivan Palacios, DavidTrezeguet (marquee player), Dudu.
Preto Pereira; Manuel Friedrich, Ilias Pollalis, Johan Letzelter, Pavel Cmovs; Javier Fernandez, Jan Stohanzl, Tiago Ribeiro, Freddie Ljungberg (marquee player); Diego Nadaya, Nicholas Anelka.
Alexandros Tzorvas; Miguel Garcia, Joan Capdevila (marquee signing), Tomas Josl, Massamba Sambou; Isaac Chansa, Kondwani Mtonga, Guilherme Felipe, Do Dong-Hyun; Luis Padilla, Cornell Glen, James Keene, Luis Yánes, Koke.
Coaches include - Peter Reid, Zico, Franco Columbo, Ricky Herbert, David James (player/coach)
A good atmosphere at the games with the Indian crowd going mental as usual.
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I noticed on the SJ Calender that it is 'Thursday's' (or whatever he calls himself now) 49th Birthday today
Have a good one old chap
:thumbsup: 
Halloween
in General off-topic discussions
Posted
Thanks Tubs, it makes sense to me now.
I agree the Scot's way is much better than the American adaptation and is no doubt where Billy Connolly got his grounding