badmigraine 0 Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 I've developed a squeeze-bulb full of malodorous gas. I bring it to meetings at my company. When somebody lights up a cigarette (normally done without asking permission of others, and frequently done in closed rooms clearly marked "no smoking"), I get out my squeeze-bulb and, every 20 or 30 seconds, I squeeze a few clouds of bad-smelling gas over the table and in the general direction of others in the room. Sometimes I waft the gas directly upward, sometimes I actually direct it in a great cloud toward people at the other end of the table. At other times, I let the bulb sit on the table and I squeeze it gently, over and over. "Uh excuse me, but what are you doing? What is that thing?" "It's a bad-smelling gas that I am intentionally releasing into the room..." ""What?! But why--?" "It's my habit. I do it all day. You'll notice that the smell permeates your hair and clothes, and after a week or so, your closet at home will begin to smell like this gas. Oh and um...it might also give you a headache, clog your sinuses and irritate your eyes..." "WHAT?! That's outrageous! I must ask you to stop it immediately!!" "Um...did I mention, this gas also causes cancer?" "WHAT?!?! You must be crazy!!" "Um...this may not be the best time to ask, but boss, may I be excused from work 8-15 times per day, for 2-3 minutes per time, to visit another room and stand around blowing this gas all over the place? I have some friends there who enjoy the same habit..." Ha-ha, just an imaginary story folks. Who in their right mind would ever inflict foul-smelling, carcinogenic gas on others without even asking their permission? Ha, ha! And even if such a person existed, I doubt he would ever ask specific permission of his boss to be excused from his desk several times each day to visit another room to pursue this habit! Ha, ha!! All fiction, folks, but I hypothesize that such a person would probably not ask permission to do this. And of course nobody would ever consent to sit in a closed room with such a dangerously thoughtless person...ha ha! Sorry for my silly fictional story, which is beyond imagining! It really is unimaginable. Makes a great funny story though, doesn't it? Well, thanks for reading this far and sorry for the crazy bizarre totally impossible fictional story here! Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Is that sort of thing still going on the US? I've always thought smokers should be paid 20% less. Not only do they take time out to feed their addiction, it stands to reason that the 15 minutes before their addiction gets the better of them must be a period of rapidly deteriorating performance. (On the plus side, I do believe that the exchange of information that goes on in corporate smoking holes is a good deal more frank and incisive than what gets passed along in official meetings.) As for calling mogski 'a squeeze-bulb full of malodorous gas', I'm surprised you guys are still friends at all. Link to post Share on other sites
indosnm 0 Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Ha! You had me going there! Can you send me some of that gas? My wife could use it at work.. Link to post Share on other sites
big-will 7 Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Funny! I always thought smokers should get less cash too - either that or games installed on the PCs at work so I could have a "game-break" or go home 30 minutes early every day. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboard_freak 0 Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Go out for "Fresh Air Breaks". Thats what I do when the need arises. Link to post Share on other sites
sexy-northerner 0 Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Seriously, it is a big issue in many workplaces in the UK. People are divided into the smoking and non-smoking groups, it can get quite nasty actually. Link to post Share on other sites
KlingKlang 1 Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 How is the anti-smoking thing in Japan? I had the image that loads of Japanese were smokers, especially the fellas. Link to post Share on other sites
its-a-clock 0 Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 More and more places are becoming no smoking zones, still few compared to the US. It makes me laugh when there is a no smoking zone in a restaurant and you can literally sit on the next table and be next to a group of 8 smoking away! Link to post Share on other sites
viv&kev 0 Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 Definitely. Smoking is not allowed in my office building and some restaurants / cafe are now no smoking (Starbucks) Link to post Share on other sites
nekobi 0 Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 at my school, they've moved smoking from the kitchen area to a back room. much better than smoking in front of impressionable junior high school students. Link to post Share on other sites
AET 0 Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 It really makes me angry the way the teachers smoke in front of the kids so much in the teachers room, almost playfully. It should be stopped. Link to post Share on other sites
BagOfCrisps 24 Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 Kids go in the staff room?? Link to post Share on other sites
nekobi 0 Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 yeah the constantly come in and out to drop off notebooks, etc to be marked. i hear prolly a million shitsurei shimasu-es a day. Link to post Share on other sites
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