DumbStick 13 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Like L&H? Like this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN...8322326-7974826 Link to post Share on other sites
nori-chan 0 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I never heard of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Raury 0 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 These guys are better: Abbott: Alright, now whaddya want? Costello: Now look, I'm the head of the sports department. I gotta know the baseball players' names. Do you know the guys' names? Abbott: Oh sure. Costello: So you go ahead and tell me some of their names. Abbott: Well, I'll introduce you to the boys. You know sometimes nowadays they give ballplayers peculiar names. Costello: You mean funny names. Abbott: Nicknames, pet names, like Dizzy Dean - Costello: His brother Daffy - Abbott: Daffy Dean - Costello: And their cousin! Abbott: Who's that? Costello: Goofy! Abbott: Goofy, huh? Now let's see. We have on the bags - we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Costello: That's what I wanna find out. Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third - Costello: You know the fellows' names? Abbott: Certainly! Costello: Well then who's on first? Abbott: Yes! Costello: I mean the fellow's name! Abbott: Who! Costello: The guy on first! Abbott: Who! Costello: The first baseman! Abbott: Who! Costello: The guy playing first! Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: Now whaddya askin' me for? Abbott: I'm telling you Who is on first. Costello: Well, I'm asking YOU who's on first! Abbott: That's the man's name. Costello: That's who's name? Abbott: Yes. Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy on first. Abbott: Who! Costello: The first baseman. Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: Have you got a contract with the first baseman? Abbott: Absolutely. Costello: Who signs the contract? Abbott: Well, naturally! Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar. Why not? The man's entitled to it. Costello: Who is? Abbott: Yes. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Costello: Who's wife? Abbott: Yes. Costello: All I'm tryin' to find out is what's the guy's name on first base. Abbott: Oh, no - wait a minute, don't switch 'em around. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who is on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third - now we're not talkin' 'bout him. Costello: Now, how did I get on third base? Abbott: You mentioned his name! Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? Abbott: No - Who's playing first. Costello: Never mind first - I wanna know what's the guy's name on third. Abbott: No - What's on second. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third. Costello: Aaah! Would you please stay on third base and don't go off it? Abbott: What was it you wanted? Costello: Now who's playin' third base? Abbott: Now why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: Why? Who am I putting over there? Abbott: Yes. But we don't want him there. Costello: What's the guy's name on third base? Abbott: What belongs on second. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE! Costello: You got an outfield? Abbott: Oh yes! Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell you. Costello: Alright, then tell me who's playin' left field. Abbott: Who is playing fir- Costello: STAY OUTTA THE INFIELD! I wanna know what's the left fielder's name. Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE! Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: Because! Abbott: Oh, he's center field. Costello: Look, you gotta pitcher on this team? Abbott: Now wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher. Costello: The pitcher's name. Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: You don't wanna tell me today? Abbott: I'm tellin' you now. Costello: Then go ahead. Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: What time? Abbott: What time what? Costello: What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitching? Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Who is on fir- Costello: I'll break your arm if you say Who's on first. I wanna know what's the pitcher's name. Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello: THIRD BASE! Costello: You got a catcher? Abbott: Oh, absolutely. Costello: The catcher's name. Abbott: Today. Costello: Today. And Tomorrow's pitching. Abbott: Now you've got it. Costello: All we've got is a couple of days on the team. Abbott: Well, I can't help that. Link to post Share on other sites
scouser 4 Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 Perhaps you needed to be there... Link to post Share on other sites
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