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 Quote:
Originally posted by soubriquet:

If she's beer-wenching, perhaps you could persuade her to be a skimpy?
All the better Soubriquet! But by the look of your avitar I would have thought you wouldn't need that kind of extra entertainment! Seems like you can service yourself quite well! :p
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Being able to give yourself a blowjob would be quite a trick. I'm sure someone, somewhere can do it, but appearances are deceiving. I was simply removing a particularly obstinate tic from my scrotum.

 

Do you know the geological meaning of Bushpig?

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hahaha! A tick eh! Did you get the little sucker? No, I don't know the geological meaning. Do share.

 

Make sure it's a big bell Nicole, cos guys can have pretty selective hearing when it comes to anything remotely like wenching (in your sense of the word).

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haha! Actually, you are referring to the sense in which I first heard it. ie. my sister screaming at my other sister "You bloody bushpig!" lol.gif I used to think it was hilarious watching this and so the word remained as one of my favs! Was that Cretin Uni in Perth?

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 Quote:
Originally posted by nicole:
Besides, he'll be beer wenching for me when I get my knee done. I'm going to buy one of those little bells to keep beside the bed!
Not the way it works
Guys don't have to be the servents when their girlfriends/wives are sick or broken
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BP: You're right, absolutely. Next time, I'll hire one of those French maid outfits and make sure the fridge is full of beer. Because, y'know, that's what I spent all those years at uni for - grooming myself to be a good little housewife! :rolleyes:

 

Toque: Are you Amish?

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 Quote:
Originally posted by nicole:
Toque: Are you Amish?
band28.jpg

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milkin' cows

Jebadiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long
That even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight were gonna party like it's 1699

We been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living' in an Amish paradise


A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in Hell
But I never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know thats unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impared

Theres no phones, no lights, no motor cars
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Coruso, it's as primitive as can be


We been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We don't fight we all play nice
Livin' in an Amish paradise

Hichin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raise a barn on monday, soon I'll raise an udder
Think your really righteous, think your pure at heart?
Well I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy, the little omlettes wanna be like
On my kness day and night, scorin' points for the after life
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother, I might have to get midevil on your heinie


We been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy menonites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Livin' in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
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Sorry

I thought this was really clever and then it was the last post on the page so it would be lost forever and nobody would realize how clever I really am :rolleyes:

 

 

 Quote:
Originally posted by nicole:

Toque: Are you Amish?

band28.jpg

 

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain

I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain

But that's just perfect for an Amish like me

You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milkin' cows

 

Jebadiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool

And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long

That even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline

Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin

But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine

Then tonight were gonna party like it's 1699

 

We been spendin' most our lives

Livin' in an Amish paradise

I churned butter once or twice

Livin' in an Amish paradise

It's hard work and sacrifice

Livin' in an Amish paradise

We sell quilts at discount price

Living' in an Amish paradise

 

 

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week

I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek

I really don't care, in fact I wish him well

Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in Hell

But I never punched a tourist even if he deserved it

An Amish with a 'tude? You know thats unheard of

I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat

And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears

We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years

But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare

We're just technologically impared

 

Theres no phones, no lights, no motor cars

Not a single luxury

Like Robinson Coruso, it's as primitive as can be

 

 

We been spendin' most our lives

Livin' in an Amish paradise

Were just plain and simple guys

Livin' in an Amish paradise

There's no time for sin and vice

Livin' in an Amish paradise

We don't fight we all play nice

Livin' in an Amish paradise

 

Hichin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter

Raise a barn on monday, soon I'll raise an udder

Think your really righteous, think your pure at heart?

Well I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pious guy, the little omlettes wanna be like

On my kness day and night, scorin' points for the after life

So don't be vain, and don't be whiney

Or else my brother, I might have to get midevil on your heinie

 

 

We been spendin' most our lives

Livin' in an Amish paradise

We're all crazy menonites

Livin' in an Amish paradise

There's no cops or traffic lights

Livin' in an Amish paradise

But you'd probably think it bites

Livin' in an Amish paradise

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 Quote:
Originally posted by nicole:
Weird Al Yankovic is so 1999.
I was dreamin' when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray

But when I woke up this mornin'
Coulda sworn it was judgment day

The sky was all purple
There were people runnin' everywhere

Tryin' 2 run from the destruction
U know I didn't even care

'Cuz they say two thousand zero zero party over
Oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999

I was dreamin' when I wrote this
So sue me if I go 2 fast

But life is just a party
And parties weren't meant 2 last

War is all around us
My mind says prepare 2 fight

So if I gotta die
I'm gonna listen 2 my body tonight


Yeah, they say two thousand zero zero party over
Oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999
Yeah

Lemme tell ya somethin'
If U didn't come 2 party
Don't bother knockin' on my door
I got a lion in my pocket
And baby he's ready 2 roar

Yeah, everybody's got a bomb
We could all die any day
But before I'll let that happen
I'll dance my life away

They say two thousand zero zero party over
Oops out of time
We're runnin' outta time
So tonight we gonna, we gonna (Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999)

Say it 1 more time
Two thousand zero zero party over
Oops out of time
No, no
So tonight we gonna, we gonna (Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999)

Alright, it's 1999
You say it, 1999
1999
1999 don't stop, don't stop, say it 1 more time

Two thousand zero zero party over
Oops out of time
Yeah, Yeah
So tonight we gonna, we gonna (Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999)

Yeah, 1999 (1999)
Don'tcha wanna go (1999)
Don'tcha wanna go (1999)
We could all die any day (1999)
I don't wanna die
I'd rather dance
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