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How long after the death of a partner of many years...


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There was this thread:

 

http://www.snowjapan...ld-and-funerals

 

and now there is this one..... how long after the passing of a partner is it 'OK' to start full on 'we're a couple' dating again.

There of course being no correct answer.

I'm happy for my kyoudai, but the speed with which the new has appeared and seemingly become part of the scenery is quite......... alarming.

Then again I suppose it's none of my business really.

 

An interesting question though, and a tricky one.

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Very difficult one.

No rule book.

A good person will be sensitive to those left around them, whilst at the same time not being obsessed by what others say.

There's always going to be someone critisizing.

Can't time relationships.

Good luck.

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Difficult as everyone gets over a loss at different rates and differently.

 

When is a right time I guess depends on when the person feels its right something that is different for everyone and not easy to judge.

 

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...and if there has been a period of protracted illness and knowledge that it was terminal for a while, much of the grieving and adjustment cam be done prior to death, especially if the now deceased partner was calm, centered and gave the living partner permission and their blessing to find happiness when they were gone.

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I agree with mamabear in that protracted illness for the deceased partner will change the situation.

 

I'm not assuming one's been used, but there are also many more matchmaking services now, some of which have advanced filtering, so that could drastically reduce the time between someone feeling ready to start again and finding themself in a relationship with someone who shares many interests and a general worldview.

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Agree with most of what has been said.

 

It's always going to be difficult especially with people like the parents and any children of the deceased.

 

'Get out there and get on with living' is all well and good, but doing so without being selfish and inappropriate can be a delicate balance.

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Agree with most of what has been said.

 

It's always going to be difficult especially with people like the parents and any children of the deceased.

 

'Get out there and get on with living' is all well and good, but doing so without being selfish and inappropriate can be a delicate balance.

 

Makes for a good (bad) Vince Vaughn romp-comp movie though.. ;) What I meant is... don't close yourself off to the possibility. It would probably take me years as I'm not the type to go out "looking".

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After first wife passed away, it was around 5 years before I met next one - that lasted 13 years and ended in a divorce.

3 years after that, I met current partner (not needing the piece of paper to prove what we both know) and still with her after almost 20 years!

 

It takes practice to find the right person, unless you are very lucky!

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