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Ippy I reckon you should make a career as a writer with all that imagination and choice words you could write a book.

How about Ippy's memoires.

People go for that theses days.

 

 

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Picture if you will a poor little fat kid getting his first intercity bus. Its a 5 1/2 hour journey so he brought snacks. He is fat, thats what fat people do. Now picture him walking up to the driver

Yes, I can vouch that Ippy is a real person and a very messy room-mate!  

Ippy doesn't have sex though. He finds it troublesome, or something.

Can i really just stress that my dad will not be putting the words 'convincing' in his tvchix profile. Its also nice to think that this came from a simple progression in fetish...

 

Domination (hes the sub obviously), into sissification, into transvestite cum whore. This isnt your standard path into fetishing womens clothes id imagine. So i genuinely doubt he makes the effort to be a woman. Then again, its been nearly 9 years so maybe he's become a little more sophisticated. Its also kinda funny for the folks who know that im non-plussed with sex, just how driven by sex this guy is. Its almost like hes defining his life through it. I remember we would go on holiday to amsterdam as a kid. Me, my mum and my sister would stay at the camp site, but every night hed be off. At the time i just thought he was off to the pub, as he does (the guy is a barfly and can become the core lock-in group anywhere in the world within weeks of moving somewhere new), but as i got older the pieces fell into place.

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  • 1 month later...

Just had an hilariously bad day yesterday. Nothing dramatic or anything, but just several little niggles.

 

1. My bike blew up beyond repair. Nothing happened at all. Just the back axle broke for no reason. The people at the shop took one look at the wheel spinning and said "sorry dude, we cant fix that".

2. Due to said bike blow up, I left my wallet at my apartment whilst taxiing to work, resulting in not one, but three journeys (there, back and there again).

3. Found out that you cant exchange more than 500 US at the bank without a bunch of docs that employers seemed... reluctant.. to provide. Left for the bank, realised at the bank id left all the documents in the office and had to go back. Returned to a massive amount of people and ended up in a two hour bank queue and then an hour to finish sent home a whopping 500 US :/ Banking in china it turns out, is a day trip. Aside the 5-7pm class, this was pretty much my day off.

4. Trapped my fingers between two doors. Still bloody kills.

5. And the best one, about thirty minutes before the end of my lesson (around 6.30pm), got hit with a really strong wave of nausea. Came home, threw up. And then was going to be hospitalised for the night (i wouldnt let them - they wanted me to take up the last bed in the ICU, which as any scotsman will tell you, is not going to happen without force... sorta regretted the decision when i suddenly remembered they might have given me morphine for the pain). Finally fell asleep around 3am and woke up at 11.30.

 

On the plus side, my boss is also a very high ranking MD, so after chatting with the doctors over the phone im now cast iron for a couple of days of bed rest! Feel better today, but still nausea to the gills. Maybe need another dose of IV. Probs head back there after this post, Spent another 500RMB i dont have of course. And if it turns out its not in fact a kidney infection, but an inflammed and soon to rupture appendix, im not actually covered by health insurance... Wheee!!!! :D Theyre 'getting back to me' to find out 'from the woman in charge of doing the documents for benefits and insurance if my health insurance was done'. Which i think is a roundabout way of saying "you dont have insurance".

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A communist country doesn't have universal healthcare?! What kind of communism is that?! :grandpa:

 

Ippy, you do seem to live your life in a melodramatic soap opera! :lol: I think you'll be late or missing or something for your own funeral!! :)

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Is Ippy actually real, I'm starting to suspect Ippy is actually made up by a Hollywood screen writer to try out plots for movies. Could a real person actually have survived all the adventures listed in this thread?

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I just spent a farcical 40 minutes sat in a restaurant waiting for my food (while im watching plates wing past me to every other table). All i wanted was rice soup. On Doctors orders (and in this case, recommendation for the restaurant) it has to be nice and bland.

Anyways, shown to my table, told the lady i wanted rice soup, pointed to the picture. Closed said book, she headed off.

Thirty minutes later i see two of the waitresses harassing one of the girls (who clearly speaks the most english) to come and ask me why the hell im sat in their restaurant. After 5 minutes of trying to explain that ive been sat there waiting for my damn soup, shes none the wiser and asking me if i want my soup in 25 minutes. At this point i give in. I came to this stupid place because a doctor specifically told me that i should eat the rice soup there. So i call up the doctor (also my boss), explain the situation and have her translate. Clearly the whole restaurant is now gawping at this fiasco. Im of course pale as a ghost and desperately trying to deal with both my nausea from the IV and a thumping headache. I get a quick apology and am told itll be ten minutes.

 

Soup was lovely. Obviously not a wild and crazy adventure, but another comedy of errors.

 

ETA: Also, everyone has these kinds of adventures. Only difference is that i type like a bastard.

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A communist country doesn't have universal healthcare?! What kind of communism is that?! :grandpa:

 

Ippy, you do seem to live your life in a melodramatic soap opera! :lol: I think you'll be late or missing or something for your own funeral!! :)

asked about the general cost on uninsured surgery for appendix. She told me around a couple of thousand, so not too bad :)

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you can make your own, just boil one litre of water with quarter cup rice and simmer for half an hour.

Then id need rice :) I aint gots no rice. Maybe i should make some pasta soup. Wrangled a second day off which is of course fantastic because im still not sure about the lesson plan im going to teach them (and should have been teaching them today and tomorrow). So coming up roses ass ever :)

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I can go old school if it saves me a few thousand bucks. I remember when i was a kid my nana told me how they used to get their teeth taken out as an 18th birthday present because if they didnt theyd end up in agony and no money for the dentist. Im sure she was mocking my childlike innocence. Still, i reckon a bottle of gin, and me and the old ways are fine.

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ETA: Also, everyone has these kinds of adventures. Only difference is that i type like a bastard.

 

Ipps.....I don't think they do! :)

 

I think they do. They're just not reported so eloquently.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Rightyo, this ones huge and rather self indulgent. Its really the summary of the last year since i was shitcanned in japan (er, i mean 'not recontracted' by the BoE). Im breaking it into two or three parts just because its too woe is me for good taste. So hopefully, by the time it hits the last bit, the wry irony chip will kick in in my head and ill be a little less of a cry baby. The first few sentences though are a teensy bit self pitying. :)

 

What a day. Just two days prior, the reports had come in from the BOE meeting. They were positive! F (my supervisor) sent me an email congratulating me for turning it round with that one special pain in the ass school. It was all but done that Id still be teaching in Nagano in 2014. And then the bombshell! They decided to go with another company.

 

Still to this day im aggrieved by it. Im not really prone to self delusion. I know when ive winged it. But this felt utterly unjust. One headteacher in a school i visited once a month (but who i later learned was the head of all the headteachers in the area), took a total dislike to me from day one and no amount of trying to placate her could dissuade her of this.

 

The other three elementaries loved me, and most importantly my base school (the school i taught in 4 days a week) wanted me to stay and had nothing but praise in their reports. But this one teacher petitioned for a change (her exact words and her ONLY words on the matter were "i think its time for a change") and got her way (it was all relayed to me by a friend with a stronger connection to the BoE). In an extra fun twist of fate, the principal was moved to another school in April. She wouldnt have even dealt with me.

 

Since then, its been surreal. The panic to stay in Japan and find a job at such short notice certainly cost me an almost shoe-in with AtoZ (who really wanted me the previous summer), but it was when even interac told me to bog off i knew the writing was on the wall. Rather dispiritingly, my lost korean drivers license (which is irreplaceable without a trip to Naju in Korea) cost me another job in Nagano. I literally had the job if i could just get my license, but id lost it in October along with my wallet in the very first instance of my wallet never coming back to me in Japan. So I had to make a decision.

 

And my decision was to buy time.

 

I knew id have no issues with Korea. I just needed to get the documents sorted and that took time. So either id come home (UK) with almost no savings and begin the process again and move back out, or come to Thailand and see if i liked it?

 

With a certain degree of hesitancy I plumped for Thailand.

 

And then was immediately hit with bombshell number 2 as i tried to book my plane ticket. I needed 6 months left on my passport to book a flight... obviously I had 5.

 

The documents were filed, the passport was winged to hong kong and all i could do was wait (at my mates house - because the boe wanted me out of the house on the last day of my contract. They eventually relented and gave me another 4 days).

 

Around the 10th of April the new passport arrived! Yay! time to get that double entry tourist visa! Booked the flight to give myself a few days to screw up. Popped to the embassy the very next morning. Went to the wrong embassy (its been under renovation for the past two years), crossed to the other side of Tokyo and arrived at the right place.

 

"No walk ins, you must book an appointment online". Quickly logged in and had a crack at it. Next free appointment was May. Bollocks. 30 day visa-exemption! no problem, enough time to get a job, maybe do a visa run, and have the work permit filed.

 

Arrived in Thailand with my huge snowboard bag and was immediately ripped off by the taxi drivers who insisted that this was too much luggage and id have to pay 1000Baht to drive into Bangkok. Pushed them down to 700. Obviously i couldnt care less, it was 2am, i was exhausted and pissed off anyway. Just get me to the hotel.

 

Finally arrived at the hotel, and was met with yet another issue: The key, which was supposed to have been left with the security, hadnt been left with security and no one bothered to mention this to them either. After a 2 hour battle in broken English and just as i was accepting the prospect Id be sleeping outside the gates until they opened, all problems were resolved and I finally got into my room.

 

Not many jobs at the moment, but its coming up to songkran anyway. No problem. Got used to thailand, thai prices, and thai bargaining. Bangkok seemed alright, plus it was nice having a pool. :)

 

Welcome to Thailand.

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