Jump to content

Recommended Posts

in more thai news, heard on the downlow that i dont in fact get my flight reimbursed AND my one year completion bonus (one month salary). But that the company i work for consider the flight reimbursement AS that bonus. The sum total fo this would be around 5000 RMB. Which is about 500 quid. Not to be sniffed at, but er, id make that up in a month with an epik salary instead of my current one.

 

So er, no incentive whatsoever to see the year out. Theres a bloody good chance ill be having another go at korea sometime around september again (though ill take the first decent job offer i get from july onwards - no mistakes this time - plus! hagwons aint that bad it turns out after all!).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 471
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Picture if you will a poor little fat kid getting his first intercity bus. Its a 5 1/2 hour journey so he brought snacks. He is fat, thats what fat people do. Now picture him walking up to the driver

Yes, I can vouch that Ippy is a real person and a very messy room-mate!  

Ippy doesn't have sex though. He finds it troublesome, or something.

Every day! Well, every day in winter (:

 

In more news, my plan is a wash. Looks like im running out the full year unfortunately. Well... not exactly unfortunately. I still get the bonus (900 US), but just saw a sneaky clause in my contract that obviously i let slip on day 1 when they ALWAYS get you to sign shit (when your brain is a bit confused by the words HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!!! running around it when you arrive in a new country for the first time).

 

The clause says that if i cancel the contract before its time (that is, even within the parameters of the contract - with 30 days notice), im liable for all visa costs (unknown) and all housing subsidies. And since i get paid at the end of the month, that means 1200RMB*11 plus the visa costs which realistically means that in order to leave not only would they keep my final pay cheque but theyd also likely insist that i owe them money on top of it. Yikes. Nasty little clause that one. So easy choice - get paid the bonus (and the 12th month pay cheque for completion), or lose a months wage and the bonus for non-completion?

 

Ill go with the former, thanks. Its only one more month, and now i know hagwon isnt a big deal theres nothing like the same pressure i had last time around (though id be on a much higher salary with epik - instant 2.5K because its an automatic pay system and ive done 1 year and 10 months in korea, got my tefl, and got my degree). With hagwon id be lucky for 2.3.

Link to post
Share on other sites

ETA: thinking out loud:

 

Assuming life as is,

February 1st: Rent (5500) and still probation salary (10,000 plus rent sub at 1200)

So March 1st: CC debt clear part 1 (full salary plus sub 13000 - need only 4-5000 to live fine so big push on cc debt unless snowboarding gets in the way).

April 1st: CC should be cleared or very nearly cleared.

So May 1st rent (maybe even some savings as well though, what the hell am i doing in April and May except teaching?)

June 1st: End of all debt on planet ipps. Last of CC should be clear, overdraft should be back to zero (only 200 quid), and plane ticket refunded to the good friend who paid for it because travelocity were jerks and wouldnt take my credit card (another 250 quid)

July 1st: first of the SAVINGS!!! 600-800 quid (last bank exchange = 2000RMB = 190 quid).

August 1st- Rent (5500).

September 1st - SAVINGS!!! 1200 to 1600 quid

October 1st - SAVINGS!!!! 1800 - 2400 quid

End contract mid october! (3/4s month wage) plus 600 quid bonus. No extra living expenses, this one gets taken in full (though pays for first month in korea if im there of course). This means i should be around 3500-4000 in the black by the end of all this. Exactly what i hoped.

 

Actually when i write it like that, it looks like when you throw in the 2000 CC debt, the 500 debt from other sources, and the 1000 quid i had to pay to set this whole house shit up, you do kinda clear about 7-8000 pounds per year in savings (around 10,000 US). And thats even assuming 6000 RMB in your pocket for spending. Fact is, the schedule is busy. You dont really have that much scope for going on big spending shenanigans. Its also so big so you feel burdened by the time commitment youd need to go and see it. All of these help me to sit on my ass in my house achieving nothing and spending nothing. So realistically thats more like 3-4000RMB/month which means savings of 8000-9000 or so on rent free months, and 3000-4000 on rent due months. Making... <punches digits into caluclator>... 650 - 700 quid per month in savings. Times 12 plus 600 and... 8400 per year or therabouts in savings (with no snowboarding). Hmmmmmmmmm... ill hedge my bets though and get my Criminal records check done in late June, apostille it in august and start applying for jobs. But i reckon so long as i keep doing what im doing i might just get a few changes for the next year if they want to have me recontract. So now im looking at the info, im kinda perked back up a bit on the whole schedule thing :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Will you be able to sample any china boarding, ippy?

Gonna try next week after the weekend festivities. Hopefully wont be INSANE (ive been assured that after the travel days, the holiday is really just family time but not banking on it). Ill go there, if its insane ill have a fun experience to write about, and if its quiet ill get the resort to myself :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Will you be able to sample any china boarding, ippy?

Gonna try next week after the weekend festivities. Hopefully wont be INSANE (ive been assured that after the travel days, the holiday is really just family time but not banking on it). Ill go there, if its insane ill have a fun experience to write about, and if its quiet ill get the resort to myself :)

 

It won't be quiet.

 

Mad pics please. Especially looking forward to some decapitations as drunken 200lb slabs of pork hurtle towards the buffet.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Willco! Roger-roger! Truth be told i finally found a nice means to pass the time at last, so who knows if ill bother to get off the couch at all in the next 9 days :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just spent the last hour reading every page of this thread. Awesome stuff Ippy! I don't think I could teach.. My wife does it here and I respect anyone that does. I hope another good job just falls in my lap here if/when I decide to work...

Link to post
Share on other sites

hahaha! who the hell would read all that! It all happened to me and i dont even think id read that in even my most nostalgic moments... well aside the bus poo and the maid. Those were worth the ticket.

Link to post
Share on other sites

In a couple of thousand years, after the great calamity has reset humanity and put the planet back on track, future archaeologists are gonna find a silicon chip with Ippy's SJ posts still on it in an incomplete form.....they will be able to dechipher the funny glyphs scrawled on the walls of ruins from the 21st century.......it'll be the new age Rosetta Stone! :lol:

Link to post
Share on other sites

I admit, i just went back and read all 19 pages. I thought i moaned a lot more than i actually did. Im also extremely disappointed that in a moment of shame i deleted the handmaids tale.

 

So in summary (and from hazy memory):

 

Woke up at 7am, kinda groggy and horny. Started jacking it. It takes me a good while, but theres four things i cant do in the morning - drink milk, eat anything except cereal (i know!), poop, and jackit.

 

(all four of those things want to make their own amazing breakout sentence).

 

Anyways, was busy with my usual cavalcade, of lets be honest, very hardcore fetish porn (ive long been desensitized to the vagaries of standard porn)... actually screw that story. The things got no legs on it. (This wasnt the title of the clip i was watching of course). I was corrupting myself, the only cute maid in the whole apartment complex BURST IN. No knocking, just straight burst in to change the beds. In all my life ive always wanted that whole "how you doin?" moment with the sexy maid as she catches me saluting the generals. But unfortunately i made a yelping sound, clearly shoved my display back in the barracks, (had to also maneuver a leg to make sure the flag pole was out of view), then grumbled at the poor girl about knocking. She was embarrassed, i was clearly ****ing embarrassed. and life went on.

 

But much more funny than this... have i ever told you about my dad?

My dad is awesome. As a kid growing up, unlike you normal christian soldiers out there, my dads war was masochism. Very hardcore masochism. As a very small child i used to bring my mates to the house and we'd sneak upstairs and laugh at all the rubber in my mum and dads top drawer. While you lot had a razzle or mayfair tucked under your bed, i had sadie sterns monthly (google it kids) as the only source of legitimate porn. It obviously resulted in a bit of a confused relationship with sex, love, and relationships.

 

(and an identity, id like to point out, that was unfairly taken away from me by the sudden explosion of the internet in my early 20s and EVERYBODY suddenly becoming jaded with vanilla porn - i was being groomed into the real deal. Well, groomed makes things a little more sinister than they are, i just mean that my first encounters with representations of sex werent standard fare, and did make an impact on me... and well, it makes it also very strange when your mum and dads sex paraphernalia is pretty much very clearly sex paraphernalia, if you get me. So the idea of my parents as sexual beings wasnt really something i had to ever come to terms with. And on top of this i was learning about sex and love through some curious instructional material. Titles like Pisse Domina (doesnt leave much to the imagination) and Madame X (tranny dominatrix' way before it was cool to want to be ****ed by a tranny), kinda helped contextualise my sexuality a little. Again, im still bitter that i wasnt allowed to grow up in this underground and secretive world and it all just became fashionable.

Anyways, this isnt about me).

 

My dad is a hardcore mother****er. Well, stands to reason. My mum obviously indulged his fantasies a little and as the years went on they became more and more erratic veering into cutting, heavy restraints, breath control, psychodrama and shocks. Anyways, the very last time i spoke to him (we didnt fall out or anything, i spoke to him over the phone just before starting jet in 2005, and honestly despite attempting to get back in contact never quite succeeded), he was telling me what hed been up to.

 

Well, first he had the police come break down his door at 6am for operation ore (pedo squad). He tells me that he was standing there in his underpants as theyre searching through all his rubber and latex gear and he kept explaining "come on guys, you can see what im in to!" in a manner that any sane fetishist would clearly understand!!!! He even kept reasoning that his adult profiles even state "hard limits, no animals, no kids" as if this in some way exonerated him (you have to understand, this is a man, who in a fit of rage at me over why abba and four part harmony music will never be improved upon, instead of punching me, which he REALLLLLLY (i cannot stress this enough) wanted to do!!!, threw the nearest cushion to hand into my face in a fit of pure apoplectic rage - the man likes abba and he may at times not quite be fully in tune with the more rational and conservative people of this world).

 

Anyways, he was cleared of all charges. And the police can GO AND **** THEMSELVES.

 

They can go and **** themselves, because they turned him into this terrified early 50s man and the source of all local gossip for months before sending him a letter telling him he was cleared and could come to the station and pick up all the shit they impounded off him. Its perfectly fine to storm into a dudes home at 6 in the morning with a ****ing riot squad knowing full well the results in the community, but when you turn up nothing, you dont even apologise? You dont even return his items. You imply that "he got away with it" and he can come to the office and collect his shit that youve all spent the last 6 months raking through and no doubt laughing about. **** you copper!

 

I digress! :)

 

The last conversation we had was about his new found love for being a tranny. I should at this point stress that me and my dad do not have an openly chatty relationship. He confides nothing in me. We exchange pleasentaries and get in the occasional argument about politics and thats about it. But suddenly out of nowhere here he was relaying the story of how his own father (a very traditional salt of the earth scottish labour councillor i might add - sadly deceased now), found out he was now a transvestite. Its not long and entirely second hand, so I wont do it justice at all and can only really summarise the best parts that i remember.

 

At one of his swinger orgies in Glasgow he was driving back home to south ayrshire (where he lives) a little half-cut. Very irresponsible. Not massively over the limit or anything, but just as hes leaving glasgow the police flash him and hes pulled over. The breathalyse him and clunk click, off to the nick. In a universal karmik turn im pretty sure (cant confirm) that he sort of got away with a slap on the wrists, some points on his license and a fine. Way better than he deserved, so thanks, police! Youre not all bad.

 

Anyways, he says he was in this holding cell, in his full tranny garb in the middle of glasgow, feeling a bit of a tit, when up comes his dad to get him out of jail and take him home. My dad and his dad had a very strong relationship. They enjoyed each others company, they would always be up the pub or bowling green together. Its your classic son/father relationship. But he never really knew that my dad was a dirty ****er. So he turned up at this jail and was, my dad said, stunned to see his son dressed in full womens clothes and make up. As he puts it, the ride home (about an hour) was rather quiet. About three months later his dad spoke to him again.

 

But he kept telling me throughout the conversation, you should have seen me, son, i looked so good in my stockings and dress. Thats all he kept telling me throughout this conversation. Aye, but you should have seen my legs! As if this was the most normal and natural progression of our relationship. Im inwardly pissing myself at this sudden explosion of TOO MUCH information.

 

Ive got one worry and one joy to hold onto out of this. My worry is that one day ill be trawling the internet cracking one out and there he'll be! Grinning at me like a swamp monster. No doubt ill keep going and click the next random pic. But itll catch me. Our worlds could easily collide. The second, (and the nice thing) is that if he should die before i ever speak to him again, his last words to me that ill remember, is him telling me how amazing he looked in his stockings, dress and heels. I dunno. I never got on with him until that day. But I like the fact we havent spoken since :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...