foreversnow 5 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 How do you handle a situation like this. We have booked our holiday and 5 of or dear friends are coming. NOW we are booked and have hired a car for road trips 2 other UNWELCOMED people have invited themselves along. They inquired in roundabout ways where we were staying - when we were going and then went and booked. They came with us before and totally ruined our holiday HENCE we didn't asked them this time. The wife hated Japan - hated the food - didn't ski - hated the cold. Do I just come straight out and tell them their not welcome or just hit the bottle and take sedatives the whole time!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Go Native 70 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Are they friends and you value their ongoing friendship? If yes, you'll want to be tactful. If not, tell them they're not welcome. You spend a lot of time and money organising trips like this, you want to make sure you enjoy them. Link to post Share on other sites
Hokkaidough 4 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 If they totally ruined your holiday before, you do not want that to happen again. Are they aware of your feelings in any way at all? I would tell them. Link to post Share on other sites
Slippery Jim 65 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Are they close to some of the friends you do want along? If so, then yes you have a problem, and you may have to make a hard decision about those friends vs your enjoyment of the trip. If not, just ignore them, leave them behind, leave them out of dinner rsrvs, etc. And if they start hinting they want to join up, on the mountain or wherever, just say no. (It helps if you're more accomplished on skis/board and able to just disappear!) Link to post Share on other sites
tokabochi 9 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 From what you say they do not seem to have cottoned on that you don't want them with you. That is a problem. You might just have to be more forthcoming on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Error404 0 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 You have to find a way for them not to spoil your important holiday again. Bottom line. Link to post Share on other sites
Chriselle 158 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Look Mrs. Griswold (Snowhuntress).... You have to tell Uncle Eddie and Aunt Catherine to hit the bricks. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Awkward huh?! It is easy if you are going just yourselves as you can say you want a 'family' holiday only and will go with friends another time. Can you maybe say that you have made arrangements with a different group of friends so you doubt you will be able to catch up all that often? Give them the hint? Or do the other friends know them too. I have gone the 'just our nuclear family and trying somewhere new' routine to get some space before... Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean11 0 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Phone them up and tell them that when you heard what they'd done, you cancelled your trip and now you're going to sue them for the cancellation fee and emotional distress. Tell them that you're urging your friends to do the same. That way they'll understand that you've excluded them from the category 'friend' and they'll not to try to follow you on your holiday again. Also, this isn't really political correctness, it's more a question of savoir-faire. These people that you're dealing with don't seem to have much of it, so you'll have to deal them quite a striking and unmistakable snub. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 If she doesn´t ski and hates Japanese food, you don´t have a problem. I mean, that give you guys a solution. Just go ski. You are 5 people. No other can fit in the car. Go eat Japanese. Tell her you are all there to enjoy the food and it´s part of your trip, not going to change that just because of one person. Tell her that she is welcome to tag along, but put up and shut up so she doesn´t make the food taste bad. She is co-incidentally there, right? Just tell her they are not part of your group´s whole plan. - but can meet in a pub or something. Link to post Share on other sites
RobBright 35 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Tell them to **** off and book their own holiday. If they ask why, just be blunt and say. Link to post Share on other sites
NoFakie 45 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Agree that this is not political correctness, that's all about making boxing gyms install ramps for wheelchairs and spending public money on reprinting stuff because it says "fireman" and not "firefighter". When you say "they" wanted to come, does that mean the lady who hated it too? If it were just the bloke dragging her along, I could understand it more. Wanting to repeat a holiday she disliked makes her sound like a simple hanger-on. Link to post Share on other sites
pie-eater 207 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Without any further info from snowhuntress yet.... I'd just say you really need to let them know. Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Or you just deal with them on the trip with the benefit of the hindsight from the first. Righto people...breakfast is every man for himself, we will be on the first lift at 8.30am and shall be hitting an intermediate warm up run, before progressing to the advanced slopes until lunch. Lunch will be at (insert name here) hut - somewhere only accessible via ski/board. If you don't feel up to it we will meet for you for a drink at x bar at 7pm before Mr Snowhunter and I leave at 8pm for our intimate dinner for two booking. Link to post Share on other sites
pickled mushhead 0 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 If they are spoiling your own holiday, there's only one thing to do. Try to be nice though! Link to post Share on other sites
foreversnow 5 Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 Okay an update - they have booked into the same accomodation as us (as we always stay there) and they are booked for the same length of time as us Yes she is a hannger on wife. He is actually fine. I thank you all for your awesome advise and I am going to take on a little of everyone's advise. Definately eating Japanese every night. Will be taking off as soon as I get off the lifts. Yes definately will only be able to fit 5 people in the car. AND YOU KNOW WHAT if worst comes to worst a couple of Sake's and GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
TheOrange 0 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Good luck. Don't let uninvited people spoil your important holiday time. Link to post Share on other sites
nagoid 4 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Tell her... Japan is dangerous. Radioactive goo all over the show etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx 4 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 She really should take up skiing. She would be a happier person. Why can´t grown up people do something a 5 year old can do .. Okay, not all 5 year olds like skiing, but if everyone else is doing it and you are the only one out and just been a dag ... Link to post Share on other sites
Slippery Jim 65 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Good luck with it! Link to post Share on other sites
tokabochi 9 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Yeah good luck with that. Always a difficult kind of situation. But a bit of uncomfortable-ness is inevitable sometime down the line if things aren't going to be spoiled. Link to post Share on other sites
Wizz 11 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Originally Posted By: snowhuntress The wife hated Japan - hated the food - didn't ski - hated the cold. Why is she going again? Link to post Share on other sites
muikabochi 208 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Good question that! Link to post Share on other sites
HelperElfMissy 42 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Originally Posted By: Wizz Originally Posted By: snowhuntress The wife hated Japan - hated the food - didn't ski - hated the cold. Why is she going again? Pressure from the partner? Because when she got back she loved the attention from people "ooohh...you skied Japan...how exotic.." ? Because she actually enjoyed herself but is one of those whiny glass half empty type of people...? Or a combination of all of the above? Link to post Share on other sites
Slippery Jim 65 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Because she doesn't trust hubby alone at Wild Bill's? Link to post Share on other sites
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